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Girls With Low Self-Esteem: Jennifer Love Hewitt Edition

| Filed under: Jennifer AnistonTV NewsJessica SimpsonJennifer Love HewittLove LineJohn Mayer


Now that Jennifer Love Desperate and that crypt-keeper Jamie Kennedy have ended their beautiful romance, girlfriend is freaking out over the devastating realization that she is SINGLE and trying to promote a self-help book on relationships, The Day I Shot Cupid: Hello, My Name is Jennifer Love Hewitt and I'm a Desperate Hack Love-aholic!!

HA. We love cruel irony.

The saddest girl in the entire world says:

"Back in the shark tank! I never said in the book that I knew how to be in the perfect relationship. I say in my book I want to be the readers' kind spirit out in the dating world. And now, more than ever, I am. I don't like to go out to clubs and party. I'm not into 'Let's go out with one guy on a Monday and another guy on a Wednesday' – that's just not me. I'm a relationship kind of girl. I like a twosome. Some people get excited about being single. I don't."

We NOTICED. You'll date just about ANYTHING to avoid having to sleep alone at night, won't you??

HOWEVER, you can't deny that clutching your body pillow tonight will be a lot more comfortable than that mutant Kennedy!

Desperate is also wants us all to be comforted by how mature she and her ex are while they work together on her SHITEOUS show Ghost Whisperer.

"We've parted as friends. There's no anger, there's no upset, there's no enemies. It's been totally fine. It's really a testament to who he is and to who I am. We're both grown-ups."

HA. Yeah, we're sure it's sooo amicable.

Who wants to place bets on how long it takes before his character is horribly and violently killed off?

Girlfriend closes with:

"I want to be an independent woman who falls in love, finds a great partner for her lifetime, has kids and kind of does it all. I'd like to have it all."

Who else thinks that she, the Simpleton, and MANiston need to form a knitting circle??

They can all talk about their overbearing need to find self-worth and validation from douchebags!! Or all the freaky shiz John Mayer tried to make them do in bed!!

Bwa ha ha.

[Image via WENN.]

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59 comments to “Girls With Low Self-Esteem: Jennifer Love Hewitt Edition”

  1. 1

    your nicknames are so stupid… Jessica simpson and jennifer aniston are gorgeous, unlike Jennifer love…
    And i'm positive they all have much better things to talk about than john mayer.

  2. 2

    She looks pretty thin to me. You on the other hand, Perez….eh….not so thin.

  3. 3


  4. 4

    I love Koo Koo Roo chicken - JLH is just like the rest of us…..

  5. 5

    hey, i'm just like her haha. what's wrong with wanting to be in a relationship and be loved. and of course she's sad right now..break ups are hard. your title is retarded by the way. i don't get how this means she has low self esteem.

  6. 6

    You are such a FEMALE hater Perez that its fucking disquesting. If it doesnt have a dick you bitch and moan and say the meanest shit.. I hope someone tears you a new one. ( you will probably like that though ) your MEAN and just a BITCH

  7. 7

    Perez, it sounds like your jealousy is showing. Seriously, what the hell is your problem with her? Its not like I think she's the most amazing person or actress in the whole world, but you tell more about yourself than her when you insult her for wanting a committed relationship instead of going out partying. Wanting a relationship is a preference, not desperation. Get a life, Perez.

  8. 8


  9. 9

    wow…get help knobgobblin

  10. 10

    She was simply stating the facts… Some adults act like adults Mario, they aren't bitches and respect each other. What a shame you can't take a leaf out of her book. She's thinner, wealthier and more talented then you will ever be. Time to move on from this bitchy, spiteful hate for this girl. It's so passe.

  11. 11

    Firstly, I watch her show each week and think it is well written and interesting. Secondly, I like this woman. I defend this woman. Perez, you are a butt hole; and I do not mean that in a good way.

  12. 12

    Wow! What a hateful rant! It's bad enough they have relationship problems, but then to say terrible things about them. I really feel sorry for JLH… She seems desperate, and that drives people away.

  13. 13

    still Jessica and Jennifer Love Hewitt are atleast looking like women……….what we cant say about Maniston…..

    Also funny how all their names start with J

  14. 14

    Boy, I seem to remember a video of you begging to the entire internet for a date.

  15. 15

    Thirdly; if she does have low self esteem, why aren't we working to build it up, not tear her down and belittle her. If anyone knows about low self esteem Perez, that would be you, but for you there is actually a basis as you are a bottom feeder, and I don't mean that as a compliment.

  16. 16

    I thought you of all people Perez would understand how hard the dating game can be. Everybody wants to find love!

  17. 17

    Why do you hate her do much? Is she really that horrible? Don't we all just want to find love and keep it?

  18. 18

    I like JLH and I'm REALLY glad she dropped that wanker Jamie.

    Seems like you're dammed if you do and you're dammed if you don't. If she dates are shes a skank.. if she likes relationships, shes desperate.. if she's alone, shes a loser no one wants to be with.

    Gotta pick one !

  19. 19


  20. 20

    Seriously. What is the media's problem putting down beautiful single women like Jennifer Love, Jennifer Aniston and Jessica Simpson? Dating in Los Angeles is a huge joke! Please leave these women along!!!!! It's getting really old.

  21. 21

    Fucking get some new material already. Love is a beautiful woman and she can eat whatever and however much she wants- she can basically do whatever she wants and still be awesome, which is more than I can say for you.

  22. 22

    what r u talking about!!… if the girl doesnt need a guy you bitch about it if she admits she is the kind of girl that love to be in a relationship you find it repulsive so
    what do you want fatpedophile??

    and jeniffer aniston and jessica? what r u talking about? you are so stupid

  23. 23

    Perez, Whats up with your hatred for independent women? Jlove is a darling!

  24. 24

    First of all, you need to learn how to write the english language i.e., "Desperate is also wants us all to be comforted" What the hell does that mean? Second of all, your hatred towards women, pretty women especially, is growing increasingly old. How desperate is Mario? Who are you dating now? Who besides your stupid dog is sharing your bed with you? hmm? Are we feeling more comfortable about our fat ass showing a lover our body? Come on Mario, tell us. How dare you speak about her eating habits, her past relationships, about Jennifer Aniston! Brad and Angelina will never consider you a friend. You are way too far down the food chain for that. You are a horrible, hateful, self-loathing loser. Please go away permanently!

  25. 25

    Ha! Love the Arrested Development reference.

  26. 26

    You are a pig, Maryo. All 3 of those women have more talent than you could ever hope to have. I hope you choke on a dick and die. Oh wait, no guy will let you get near their cock. Sucks to be you, you piece of shit, fat assed loser.

  27. 27

    GOD you are sad. Possibly your most desperate post to date.

  28. 28

    Probably SIMPLETON still have a chance..but Maniston and Desperate-Hewwit omg so boring….they are so plain…. i can't stand Maniston specially she is the worse…Team Angelina

  29. 29

    ha! a knitting circle discussing hornball john mayer…

    i think they were in too many romantic shows and movies, relationships can be overrated. its great and all but why rush it because a romantic movie made you cry?

    its fun to go out and flirt and get attention sometimes!

  30. 30

    Why are you so nasty for no reason?

  31. 31

    Ur an aHole perez!! Its no longer celebrity gossip just talkin shizz for the sake of it, maybe it makes u feel better bout urself?? Low self esteem much?? U probly don't read these comments either but it makes me feel better to leave them!

  32. 32

    LOL.. Is she holding a bag from "El Pollo Loco"???? No idea what they look like, but it fits her, lol….

  33. 33

    Seriously? Can the woman not eat? I don't understand why you hate her so much.

  34. 34

    Aw, leave her alone! Why do you hate her so much? So her relationship didn't work out w/ this guy - so what? She's young and unlike the other young hussies in Hollyweird, she at least wants to have a relationship and settle down. It's not always easy to find the right guy - especially in THAT world!

  35. 35

    can't STAND her…why does she even bother with a book….. to note the OBVIOUS…..poor thing, get over yourself …..

  36. 36

    This chic is definately hot, I'd band her anyday, anytime, anywhere! However…she's definately missing some nuts…or even washers! She has a loooong dating list, proving she's a goddess in bed, but guys can't seem to put up with her. Something's not normal with her!

  37. 37

    thats fkng mean.

  38. 38

    you should list yourself after simpleton, fattie-fattie-2X4!!!
    cuz' we all know this b*tch will be single for evaH.
    girl cannot even spell nor punctuate properly.
    she is not "edu-macated" at all.
    OR, in too much of hurry to print junky gossip!
    just sayin'….

  39. 39

    Perez, is there a bug on your site? Coz a few of the last articles have read 'no comments', when in actual fact, I've seen comments on them before. Get it fixed buddy!!!

  40. 40

    This seems overly mean-spirited and mean. Maybe downright cruel. I think you've gone overboard with this one. If I had to guess, this was not written by the person who calls himself Perez.

  41. 41

    love u for that

  42. 42

    LOLz on the idea of a knitting circle, and discussing John M. That would be one for the books.

  43. 43

    Yeah she does kind of come off like a loser, but she will always be more successful than Perez!

  44. 44

    I think your are really sad. I like your site sometimes but you can be a very cruel human being. Love has a hit show and if anyone is desperate it's you trying to get on Idol as a judge and this in that and the other. You obviously have serious issues with yourself since you seem to get pleasure in tearing others down!

  45. 45

    You left out Kate "the clinger" Hudson from that list of sewing circle ladies.

  46. 46

    Once again….we're forced to read his dislike for all the beautiful Jens in this world. Loquita hating on all the beautiful girls who had anything to do with John Mayer. Yes Perez..we know he made out with you ONCE and you're still crying over it…..blah blah blah boo hoo

  47. 47

    Re: ElizaBlue – That's because he prefers glorifying sluts and homewreckers such as Angelina Jolie.

  48. 48

    You are a judgmental BITCH Mario!

  49. 49

    Wow Perez, you really have it in for this chick and I'm not sure why. Did you not post a video of yourself getting all blubbery about "wanting someone to love" and how people should not lead you on…blah blah?

    Fact is, I get it…Perez is a personna, it is "your day job" and how you earn a living. You have to be saucy and you have to be edgy to keep the people coming back and your ad rates high.

    However, that does NOT mean you should take delight in kicking people when they are down. You can be edgy without doing that. Jennifer deserves someone to love, we all do, even you Perez, so lay off.

  50. 50

    Terminator Perez wants to sleep with John Mayer, and is coming AFTER his former flames with a vengenace! He likes his blondes and brunettes. Time to ditch the Kool-Aid hair Perez!

  51. 51

    She seems like an OK person. She's not a criminal or mean person. I think we have a duty to treat people with reasonable kindness when they are just trying to live their lives. We all have problems that make us look not perfect.

  52. 52

    Re: ElizaBlue – I completely agree!!!

  53. 53

    These broads love being famous. They want to marry men who love being famous. They are living in lala land. It won't happen for them if they love fame. It is obvious they need to check their ego's and find some nice guys. Otherwise, no matter how much they whine and cry, they like their lives just the way they are.

  54. 54

    you really are a twat perez!

  55. 55

    even if what you say is true… why on earth girls with low self esteem problems would be a funny thing? I think it's really sad. And you're a disgusting sadistic.

  56. 56

    You are worthless, Perez.

  57. 57

    Perez, you are SUCH a hateful person. Seriously. How do you even live with yourself? I just don't get it. You must be a fucking sociopath. There really isn't any other explanation. You are completely devoid of the capacity to empathize. And then you proceed to make it worse by trashing these women who have done absoultely nothing to you. It makes me sick. What I really can't believe is that your mother and sister enable this shit. I would be SO ashamed to have a son or brother like you. Get a load of yourself. Our purpose in this world is to radiate Love, not hate. They say that when we die we suffer all the pain that we caused tenfold in a sort of life review. If that's true, then you're completely fucked.

  58. 58

    Her words speak LOADS on low self-esteem:
    She says, "I want to be an independent woman…" but she doesn't elaborate on ANYTHING to do with independence after that. Rather, she says, "I want to be an independent woman who FALLS IN LOVE, FINDS A GREAT PARTNER…"
    She should work on her definition of "independent" first.

  59. 59

    Arrested Development reference, LOVE IT.