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Spencer Pratt Is Ready To Water Board Cyber Terrorists In The Name Of America!

| Filed under: Icky Icky PooTV NewsPolitikSpencer Pratt



Spencer Pratt is apparently ready to contribute something 'significant' to society, which in his mind means becoming the real life Jack Bauer and keeping our country safe - by pitching a reality show to the National Security Agency and Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency called Cyber Spies!

Yeah, we know.

He says:

"They kicked me off 'The Hills' because they say I'm too angry, but really I was just angry that I was doing nothing on 'The Hills' and doing nothing to contribute to our free and open society of America. My friends had medical marijuana issues, so I was always worried about secondhand smoke, so I thought, 'Oh my gosh, I'm never going to be the director of the CIA,' but now I hear they recently changed that policy, and I think that they may have done that just so people like me who had friends in high places could still fit into the politics of the intelligence community. I was the biggest fan of '24' but there was such fakeness; I don't believe any American agent would chop off anybody's head. Waterboarding would do the trick."

We honestly don't even know where to begin.

Spencer, how about you lay off all of that 'secondhand' smoke?

Or better yet, go hot box yourself in it until you're too blaaazed to speak! Then you can be Jack Bauer in your mind all day long!

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63 comments to “Spencer Pratt Is Ready To Water Board Cyber Terrorists In The Name Of America!”

  1. 1

    He's still making money because fuckwads like Perez keep writing about him. Stop writing about him and his disgusting wife and they'll go away, hopefully turning to porn first.

  2. 2

    so, this is whats wrong with America, Stop writing about this shitlord he doesn't deserve the publicity.

  3. 3

    seriously. stop giving this douchebag what he wants.

  4. 4

    Too funny !!!!

  5. 5

    Parasite, you're a lazy shit. No one gives a rat's ass about Spencer Pratt, how blow-up doll wife, Peter Andre, or Jordan. You write about trash because YOU are trash, and because it takes you no effort to do posts on fame-seeking idiots like yourself.
    Re: erinzorz – You're right. And Perez is an idiot.

  6. 6

    What kind of crack head… What the… Mmm mmm somethings wrong with this boy.

  7. 7

    this Spencer guy is a KING SIZED DOUCHEBASKET - Perez why do you even give him the time of day?

  8. 8

    so I thought, 'Oh my gosh, I'm never going to be the director of the CIA,'

    LMAO hahahahahhahahahhahah

    That's JUST what the world needs.

  9. 9

    It doesn't even make sense? Would someone shoot him please? and Mario, if you've ever done anything smart in your life…for the love of sanity….please stop giving this moron publicity. PLEASE!!!! You're feeding his insanity.

  10. 10


    i wonder what his parents think of him..

  11. 11

    While sucking the wife's new and improved tit-ays, he is ingesting some of the silicone, and it is affecting his brain. Hence the stupider than normal comments. If he were smart, he would lay off them for a bit - at least until the plastic hardens….just say'n !

  12. 12

    YEAH, like him on 'i'm a celebrity , get me out of here' he could not take living in the costa rican jungle. let an enemy torture him. for 15 seconds. he would give up everything. even things that they did not want to here…… we are positioned at 57 degrees, 5 minutes. we have 5 planes waiting, 8 trucks, 400 men. heidi likes it being on top, she gets constant yeast infections, she farts all the time. 'SHUT UP SHUT UP' sometimes she farts wet ones and needs new underwear and 'JUST SHUT THE HELL UP, WE DO NOT WANT TO HEAR ANYTHING FROM YOU. THIS IS WORSE THAN WATERBOARDING. THIS MUST BE AMERICA'S NEW FORM OF TORTURE-THE PRATTURE. STOP IT BEFORE IT SPREADS!'

  13. 13

    Spencer? Your grandma called. She wants her beard and her dementia back.

  14. 14

    Im somewhat educated, but I barely understood and of what Spencer said.

  15. 15

    Please make these people go away!! they are irrelevant. The only way they'll be out of the lime light is if you stop writing about them. Let it go Perez…..let it go.

  16. 16

    Perez, remember when you used to declare someone such a god-awful train wreck that you'd put a moratorium on posting any news about them for X amount of time? It's time to do that with the Pratt-Montags.

  17. 17

    Wow! Heidi Montag has become the human Barbie (plastic parts and all) and now this douchebag want to become the human GI Joe. It's amusingly pathetic.

  18. 18

    maxie pad, More like G.I joke. Ha!

  19. 19

    Stop feeding the troll, Perez!

  20. 20

    What world does Sister Spencer & Heidi Ho live in? No body in their right mind would consider him for dog catcher. I think he needs medication.

  21. 21

    I feel So Much Safer knowing that FrankenHeidi and SpencerTwat might be in charge of our defense.

  22. 22

    He is just making himself and Heidi look even more stupid. Please stop posting about them.

  23. 23

    I CAN T believe your still around…why don t you PLEASE test your theory that no American agent would cut someones head off..

  24. 24

    Re: justtfax – LMAO…

  25. 25

    If you're such a man why not do what real men do and enlist? On second thought you probably couldn't pass the psych tests. Never mind.

  26. 26

    Spencer - you should pay "the wizard of oz" a visit, maybe he could give you some brains……..heidi apparently gives you none………

  27. 27

    Oh please, the only thing Spencer does that requires a lot of work is his airheaded wife.


  28. 28

    He thinks he could run the CIA. Stop writing about him. asap. it's so bad, he's goin to hurt someone and you will still blog it like it's news, when really…it's just super shameful.

  29. 29

    ahahaha hes just pretending to be crazy so you'll write about him, dummy

  30. 30

    Spencer, I don't know how to break the news to you so I am just going to be honest. You are a fucking asshole. There never has been, nor will there ever be a reason for you to be "famous." The only reason people people know who you are is because you throw yourself out there, or should I say force yourself out there, for the world to see. Do you realize that when most people see you bile rises up in their throats? Please, I beg of you, we all beg of you - GO AWAY!!!! And while you are at it, take it insane wife with you. Thank you

  31. 31

    I cannot think of anyone that I hate more than Spencer Pratt - what a fucking douchebag moron loser. Please, Please, Please someone get rid of him!!!!

  32. 32

    Spencer and Heidi are reminding me more and more of the Dorothy Stratton story.

  33. 33

    That's about the funniest thing I've ever read. He is his own worst enemy.

  34. naima says – reply to this


    That retard jerk and joke of a human being would do anything for some publicity. He's so fucking annoying even the ennemy would pay our country to keep him away from them. One thing the CIA should do is use waterboarding on him to force him to stop talking about the CIA and being on the media.

  35. 35

    He, and people like him, are a cancer in our society! What an awful, delusional, evil person! Ugh! He is disgusting.

  36. 36


  37. 37

    This moron is about a year away from completely going insane, living in a boobie-trapped garden shed and drinking his own urine. Maybe he should set a more reasonable goal than CIA director. He's clearly retarded, so may I suggest he work on competing in the Special Olympics. That seems like more his speed….

  38. 38

    So basically he smokes a lot of weed and knows he couldn't even get a job at Wal-Mart if he tried (hello, drug-testing!). Also, I thought you got kicked off the Hills because you DEFENDED your wife from harassment? So now it's because you were angry you weren't doing anything? Get your story straight.

  39. 39

    right like the govt would really hire him to do anything, lol i bet though tv producers are already coming up with some bullshyt show for him as we comment on this loser.

  40. 40

    Secondhand smoke???? Puhleeeze…..Does someone need to remind Spencer there's a pic on the internet of him with HIS BONG in the background?????

  41. 41


  42. 42


  43. 43

    I totes read anything Spencer related! Trashy-but true. By second hand smoke did he mean that huge doobie he just smoked! Get real buddy lol!

  44. jham says – reply to this


    wow - he is a republican - what denial. sure . . . you were kept out of the CIA b/c you had inhaled second hand smoke from your 20 something friends that were getting high on medicinal marijuana to treat the chronic diseases most 20 somethings have . . . mmmhmmm . . . what about a college degree? think that might help get his foot in the door. and friends in high places? sweetie, when they're talking about "The Hill" they don't mean "The Hills"

  45. Jaded says – reply to this


    I'm torn here. The I is supposed to stand for Intelligence in that acronym, but I'm not sure that anyone who's been in charge of the CIA actually had any.

    If they go by the old model then Spencer is perfect for the job. Hey maybe some terrorist dictator will have him bumped off and we will never have to hear form him again. I would prefer that they just hire someone who is highly intelligent and that people like Perez would stop giving him any press time. That would be jsut as effective as having him cancelled off.

    PS They fired him off of The Hills because he's a violent tool. I'm just waiting for the divorce to find out that he's been beating Heidi this whole time.

  46. MJBB says – reply to this


    Fucking IDIOT!!!

  47. 47

    OMG…really??? Spencer and Heidi are just lame….i dont think anyone wants to see or hear from them…so they should quit trying so damn hard to get noticed…because NO ONE CARES!!!

  48. 48

    Spencer Pratt is an worthless ass but a "genius" at the same time. He definitely knows how to bait low-brow blogs like this one and failing mainstream media into writing about him.

  49. 49

    Just think, that imbecile and his plastic wife own 4 dogs. When they tire of them they will waterboard them. They are scary people and should be committed to a psychiatric ward immediately, both of them. And please someone rescue the 4 dogs in the name of God.

  50. 50

    Spencer Pratt needs to shut his f*cking blowhole

  51. 51

    "My friends had medical marijuana issues, so I was always worried about secondhand smoke…" For some reason that just made me laugh!!

    Poor stupid idiotic SPENCER! Why can't this little boy just go away!!

  52. 52

    Why do you give him any type of credit. He's a moron

  53. @v@ says – reply to this


    Delusion isn't pretty. He hasn't even gone to college, has he? Pratt running the C.I.A. is kind of like the guy working at 7-11 running for president.

  54. 54

    EVERYBODY STOP!!!!! Perez just wrote about this because he was incredibly turned on. His idea of waterboarding is being tied down while multiple men jack off all over his face. It's okay, problem solved. Case closed.

  55. 55

    SECOND-HAND smoke… riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight…

  56. 56

    I read his quote. Thought about it for a few seconds. Then I read it again. Scratched my head a minute, and then read it again - very slowly, trying to break it down and make some kind of sense out of it. Sounds like the ramblings of a 13 year old valley girl from back in the 80's.

  57. 57

    omg seriously what the fuck is he talking about, doesnt he know when to shut the fuck up spencer is so fugly not to mention pretty stupid, god im so sick of spiedi or spenci or whatever the fuck these two call themselves

  58. 58

    This little pu**y couldn't even last one night in the jungle on that stupid show, how in the hell does he think he has the balls to front some terrorist, when he was screaming like a little girl when a bug flew on him! Honestly, this rich, privileged prick is delusional, and has NO IDEA, what it really like to live in the real world! Then he is gonna talk about water-boarding someone! he showed how helpless and clueless he was when he was on that show. I wish this idiot would just go away…what a sad loser he really is…

  59. 59

    Go away brat! And, take Michael Lohen with you!

  60. 60

    Seriously, this guy is really fucked up.

  61. 61

    Seriously, this guy is really fucked up. PRAY they don't reproduce.

  62. 62


  63. 63

    He's forgetting that the middle word in DIA and CIA is intelligence, he is stupid, worthless, married to a plastic zombie, and ape-like. I don't think weed smoke is what disqualifies him from joining the intelligence community, if he wants government work he should contact the DMV where worthlessness and stupidity are job requirements. If we were living in 1930's Germany Spencer and Heidi would definately be nazis.