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The Hoff Would Rather Move To Germany Than Deal With Drinking Problem

| Filed under: Wacky, Tacky & TrueThe HoffZ List


Psh. It's not called a relapse anymore when you're doing it every day!

David Hasselhoff is speaking out about his alcoholism, and seems to have forgotten all the times we've seen him drunk when he claims to have been sober!

He says:

"Unfortunately, I did have a brief relapse, but part of recovery is relapse. I am a recovering alcoholic. I knew as soon as I went into rehab, my reputation would be ruined. Things used to be different back then. If you asked for help you lost your good standing. Back then all the celebrities smoked and drank. Just think of Richard Burton or Humphrey Bogart. No one questioned them. Consumption used to be acceptable."

Sorry, Hoff, Humphrey Bogart and Richard Burton are the last people that come to mind when we think of you! And we doubt being an incomprehensible drunk was EVER acceptable, it may just have been more hush-hush!

In other, more interesting has-been news, the former Baywatch-er apparrently plans to move to an area of Germany that should be more prone to welcoming him than we would - an agricultural farm close to Kassel that's named HASSELHOF!

That's right, The Hoff is trying to learn about his ancestry, and had the brilliant notion that it may have started there!

A local man, Hermann-Josef Kaiser, says:

"If he wants to do some research here, he's absolutely welcome. I can provide him with a flat so he can do his research in peace and quiet. We would let him a hectare of land."


How crazy and AMAZEBALLS would it be if the Hoff left all of the glitz and booze glam of Hollywood behind to become a full-time farmer in Germany??

LOLZ! Do it!!

[Image via WENN.]

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18 comments to “The Hoff Would Rather Move To Germany Than Deal With Drinking Problem”

  1. 1

    I would let Richard Burton rape me.

  2. 2

    Yeah, we love David Hasselhoff! ;) He's practically German. Don't Hassel The Hoff bitch!

  3. 3

    I think it's hilarious that the Hoff is comparing himself to these legendary actors first off, secondly, he should learn from their example. Neither one lived to age 60 because of their habits, Burton died of alcoholism and Humphrey died of mouth cancer due to his smoking habit. We also know a lot more about the effects of drugs, alcohol, and smoking than we used to, and armed with that research, it's obviously less acceptable for us now and for good reason. There is no excuse to not deal with your problems. This man has a family and children, that's the saddest part in all this. If not for you, do it for them. They deserve better.

  4. 4

    you loose your reputation when you don't get help, but you don't loose reputation when you are a helpless alcoholic?
    that's an very immature attitude!
    but come to germany & we teach you some sanity …

  5. 5

    He just wants to be surrounded by people who will tolerate the drinking MORE and will tolerate his antics MORE. He realizes the U.S. is not buying his bullshit and he knows that his most popular place was Germany — so now he thinks he can go there and the LOVE will cure him? Grow a pair — own your shortcomings. And don't abandon your kids

  6. 6

    Hey Hoff! Relapse is part of Relapse. I too am in recovery, and I have relapsed, but never did I think that was part was of the recovery process. Try this… Get Honest. If you need help, ask for it. What's more important to you, your whacked career, being Germany's favorite leatherface? Think on this. GET SOBER!!! You might get some stuff back. Like dignity, self-respect. If you find it in yourself to try and save your life and are successful at it, (see HONEST), you might so some thing that is way more important than any made for TV movie or a #1 adult contemporary album in Germany. You might help another person who is struggling with sobriety stay sober. If you did that I guarantee people would be lining up to shake your hand. Not because you were in a show about a talking car, but because you are David Hasselhoff.

  7. 7

    Hmmm - do I smell a reality show pitch in the air???

  8. 8

    consumption IS acceptable, just not when you're drunk off your ass and have a problem, hoff!!!

  9. 9

    David, quit playing the 12-Step Religious Cult's AA "Recovery" con-game; it'll drive you insane. Just try to take the drinking a little easier and you'll be fine.

  10. 10

    Germany is a sad place, if this guy is their super star. Lmao

  11. 11

    He actually did some great work in South Africa for the Underwater Channel (he looks so at peace and relaxed) where he swam with the sharks - and even did some greetings with military personnel - yes he is human and has his fault, but when he does try he gives it his all. I wish him nothing but the best.

  12. 12

    Re: mcgavock – oh come on, by all means Germany might be a sad country, but this thing about the Hasselhoff is just too funny.

    It's as if you americans really believe that everybody here is going crazy for him - I'm german, and although i'd completely agree with "Übergeist" (some comments up), when we talk about hasselhoff we talk just like you do in the US.

    He's somewhat entertaining, but certainly not on every celebrity news-show or on anyone's mind.

    Still, it would be great fun if he did move here. Then I wouldn't have to wait to hear about Heidi Montag in order to laugh my ass off.

  13. @v@ says – reply to this


    Oktoberfest! He'll feel right at home. He'll just go strictly for the Bratwurst and the friendly big busted serving wenches.

  14. 14

    Good gosh. How stinking lame and just mean of all of you. I don't think he was comparing himself to Bogart and Burton in regards to his acting or career. He is comparing the time period and how it was different in regards to boozing. Would it have been better to say Dean Martin or something? The Hoff seems like a good guy to me. Maybe that's why your so mean or something. The dude is an adult and can make his own choices. Mario, you have a food and little boy addiction. I don't think there has ever been a time when that has been ok. And nice post Borte..dumbshit.

  15. 15

    His grandfather came from Duesseldorf!

  16. 16

    His grandfather or great grandfather came from Duesseldorf in Germany!

  17. 17

    Relapse doesn't have to be part of recovery. I've relapsed before and it's always preventable, I just didn't want 'sobriety' more than I wanted to drink. Many alcoholics in recovery don't relapse at all. Give AA and the 12 steps an honest attempt, it's worked for millions of us. If the steps don't work for you (AA is NOT for everyone), there are other ways to recover.
    Wishing you all the best

  18. 18

    Didn't Humpy die of cancer…?