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Elegance Is Learned!

| Filed under: Icky Icky PooMusic MinuteKim ZolciakReality TV


Kim Zolciak is NOT going to be happy!

Just listen to the GROUNDBREAKING new single from The Real Housewives of NYC's very own Countess LuAnn, called Money Can't Buy You ClASS!

It's as if Auto Tune became a cognizant, free-thinking entity and unleashed on this track!

Check out the song below.


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285 comments to “Elegance Is Learned!”

More comments: « 1 [2] 3 »

  1. 101

    the worst song in history her and kim should sing together so it can be used as a weapon of mass destruction lol

  2. 102

    wtf did i just listen to…

  3. 103

    Is this woman insane? She should be posing that same question to herself…countless & classless. I smell horrible desperation. Don't these people realize what a fool they make of themselves when they put themselves out there & have no talent?

  4. 104

    Rulaul would have did a better job..

  5. 105

    i thought this was a joke omg

  6. 106

    NOT classy…kinda freaking, kinda horrible…sorry Countess!

  7. CodyW says – reply to this


    i want my 4 minutes of life back

  8. 108

    NOT classy at all…kinda freakish, kinda horrible…sorry Countess!

  9. 109

    OMFG Horrible Horrible Horrible. I hope she reads all the comments. Do you really think she feels proud of this? Jesus, woman. When I think of a classy lady, Countess Louann doesn't make the cut. Tacky, yes. Classy, no.

  10. 110


  11. 111

    complete G A R B A G E

  12. 112

    holy pet shop boys

  13. 113

    what was that ??? she is terrible ….. Thank God for Auto tune … no scratch that even the Auto tune didn't help her bad singing … Don't those ladies have kids to raise??
    Death Auto Tune moment of silence ( Jay Z voice)

  14. 114

    this bitch has lost her mind!

  15. 115


  16. 116

    Apparently it also can't buy you voice lessons. This is awful!

  17. 117

    It's ok.. Still like Tardy for The Party much more than this song..

  18. 118

    I can't get over how bad this song is.

  19. 119

    I think I would rather stick a knitting needle entirely through my ear than hear that again.

  20. 120

    is desperately seeking attention considered classy now? welp, that's it–all future generations are f-ed.

    this is extremely embarassing and i HOPE LIKE HELL she sings this crap on the reunion show like Kim whats-her-face did. baaaaahahahaaaaa!

  21. 121

    i can't wait for the Bravo reunion show where she debuts this live. I seriously doubt she will remember the 'lyrics'.

  22. 122

    I thought that was a man singing. It really pisses me off that anyone can use autotune and make themselves a damn record these days (I'm talking to you Kesha). WTF happened to actually singing? I hope people don't actually buy this shit.

  23. 123

    Aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! My ears, my ears….. how the bleed!!!!

  24. 124

    I'm SOOOO embarrassed for her…not to mention her poor kids. Just…wow.

  25. 125

    delusional old wench. self reflections on this song, "Countess"? classless.

  26. 126

    this is BEYOND!!! so f@cking hilarious!

  27. 127

    OMFG! my ears are burning!!!! ugh! this song is far from CLASSY

  28. 128


  29. 129

    Hilarious! Hilariously awful! All I can think about is how mortified her kids must be right now. Most parents embarrass their children by doing things like kissing them in public or leaving little notes in their lunch bags, but not by recording a perfectly hideous dance song and posing for a picture that makes mom look like a used up Bourbon Street hooker.

  30. 130

    Tardy for the Party was much better than this crap! I'm surprised my ears aren't bleeding!

  31. kaloo says – reply to this


    Tardy for the Party! Tardy for the Party! At least that had a good beat…this is boarding passssss (aka horrific/ridiculous/ghetto) I mean…

  32. #1 says – reply to this


    this is so not a horrible song. there are much worse singles. money can't buy you class but it can buy you a decent song. It's really not bad. i like….

  33. MP says – reply to this


    I made it a whole 30 seconds. They'll really let anyone into a recording studio, won't they? Ugh.

  34. 134

    TERRIBLE. She is either a heavy cigarette smoker or else she was previously a man.

  35. rev3 says – reply to this


    finally a lady gaga song that's good!

  36. 136

    WOW! How dragalious!! now if she don't sound like a man…

  37. 137

    I was really rooting for the song to sound semi decent, considering her public divorce & all……….but good lord, this song is HORRIBLE! And her voice is just bad!!!!

  38. 138

    It's pretty bad. I love the best, classiest Housewives, the NY gals, but Luann doesn't belong in the recording industry.

  39. 139

    Ohhh what did she just do to her reputation…

  40. 140

    her voice..lol..

  41. 141

    Money also apparently can't buy you a voice. Sad.

  42. 142

    Can you say PHOTOSHOP? Famewhore and AmeriEuro-trash.

  43. 143

    1. She isn't a countess anymore. Right?
    2. I feel like we're listening to a peppy book on tape. This is not singing, reading maybe, but not singing.

    Nice try LuLu. You and Kim obviously have the same music producer. I don't get it, why is it always the housewives (I use this term loosely) with the worst voices that decide they want to become singers? Oy vey.

  44. 144

    Its strange. Usually autotone covers up the fact that you can't sing to a certain degree. Here it actually makes her sound worse.

    On second thoughts, I'll bite my tongue. You never know when a leak of the original will trickle on the web.

  45. 145

    WHAT THE FUCK????!!!????!!!!!????

  46. 146

    The countess should pair up with Kim from Atlanta's housewives for a duet…NOT!!!

  47. 147

    This is a terrible song but it could have been better if she had back up singers hit the notes on the chorus with her. Auto-tune just sounds fake and ridiculous. Hell, I could make an album with auto tune. Its sort of a slap in the face to all of us who love music and value real artists. If anyone buys this they are doing it to play the song as a joke at events. Sorry Luann, it's not even that funny to me. You're on housewives on Bravo, not MTV or American Idol. Stick to what you're good at which is talking trash about your co-stars.

  48. LA22 says – reply to this


    jesus christ this is fucking terrible.

  49. 149

    at least shes trying to make money on her own…got to give her props for that!

  50. 150

    I fucking HATEEEE this girl. She's such a bitch and I seriously can't stomach her. I normally don't wish bad things for people but I wish bad shit for her. ;( BRB going 2 go kill myself.

  51. 151

    money cant buy you class but it can buy you a record deal

  52. 152

    wow, truly the worst song i have ever heard. this vapid tranny makes heidi montag look talented.

  53. 153

    Sounds like it was recorded underwater on a cassette tape and then left in the sun too long.

  54. 154

    lmao this song is 10x better then tardy for the party! its so bad i LOVE it :)

  55. 155

    Its for the sight impaired… making them wish they were hearing impaired.

  56. 156

    she doesn't even look classy in her picture

  57. eahan says – reply to this


    Please LuAnn, save yourself. Stop singing and please stop putting yourself on a pedestal trying to educate America on what's classy and proper etiquette. Your book went nowhere because it did NOT come from a credible source. Trying to send the same message thru song exhibiting no musical talent is just desperate and laughable, laughing AT you, not with you. Disappear and get your shiz together.

  58. 158

    so incredibly bad!

  59. tb620 says – reply to this


    why? I mean seriously…why?

  60. 160


  61. meme says – reply to this


    Good lord that is terrible.

  62. 162

    She most likely sounds better than all of us so keep it up haters you'll only make her lime light brighter!

  63. 163

    sounds like Ursula from little mermaid. What a shitty old woman voice!

  64. 164

    COUNT less!

  65. 165

    wow. this song is beyond horrible! first, she sounds like a tranny. ( which is fine, but she isnt)
    two, wow… the lyrics are fucking ridiculous!
    and three , perez is right! AUTO TUNE AUTO TUNE AUTO TUNE!

    Good job Kim! way to shit on the music industry!

  66. 166

    wow..that was horriable..who are the brilliant people putting ideas in these tone def people to think they can cut a track. even worse kim's song was better but thats because candice saved her ass…

  67. 167

    OMG Plese tell me it's supposed to be funny? !! She sounds like a drag queen, does'nt she? Talk about fame whores -those desperate housewifes of this city and that city pretty much define the saying.

  68. 168

    I just wasted 3 min and 43 seconds of my life that I will never get back.

  69. 169

    That is the lamest shit I have ever heard!

  70. 170

    Terrible! Just terrible. lol.

  71. 171

    team anyone else

  72. 172

    lmao this bitch is soooo dumb and ugly, stupid cougar, auto tune seriousley? lmao.

  73. 173

    HAHAHAHHAhahaa. this is so great.

  74. 174

    mmm what talent!

  75. 175

    Re: SpiralJetty


  76. 176

    Yep, horrendous! But I bet she sell's more albums then Heidi Montag.

  77. 177

    Re: juls2005 – i for one am not a tranny. please speak for yourself! :)

  78. 178

    this is one hot tranny mess of a song…i think her balls just dropped.

  79. 179

    What the hell, seriously is she that desperate.

  80. 180

    Seriously?? Thats the best they could make it sound even with auto tune??? How embarrassing–the 'lyrics' are just horrific, not to mention the 'singing'. Really Luann, DAAAAHLING, stick to what you know–banging rich geezers for your rent money.

  81. 181

    OMG That was horrible!

  82. 182

    My point proven. Anyone can now be a music star. ANYone. Another point for the home team that is The Dumbing Down of America. Well done, kids. Well done.

  83. 183

    stephen hawking, that you???

    soso so bad…makes Heidi's music sound heavenly

  84. 184

    this is AWFUL! where the hell is her PR rep to tell her that this shit sucks? and that her boob is bustin out

  85. 185


  86. 186

    SWEET JESUS. Apparently money can't buy you voice lessons either. It sounds like she's singing into a plastic tube.

  87. 187

    A very, very, very, very poor man's (and by poor, I mean begging in the street while wearing a safety vest broke) Army of Lovers so please, all you DJ type folks, please do me a mash up of Crucified and this tune. Oh my gosh, we can so call it Crucified Countess.

  88. 188

    sounds like a drag queen. a very bad drag queen

  89. 189

    Really!… I mean Really! This is absolute crap. Thank god i have a gun hear so i can shoot myself just to stop hearing this non-music crap! You should be ashamed of yourself! "Countess"

  90. StayC says – reply to this


    listened to the first line and threw up a lil in my mouth. was that a man? or was it the prostitute in the picture above?

  91. 191

    Seriously there is no nice way to say this. She'd fit it well circa the late 80's early in NYC's meat packing district where it was rampant with Chicks w/ sticks. She is awful.

  92. 192

    oh Lord…some times we need to turn down the quick buck ppl…that was ATROCIOUS!! not as bad as the blond-wig-chick, but not far behind..The Countess actually is a classy/elegant lady, despite her lack of popularity (more ppl can identify with Bethany, the little snake spewing poison, then a former model, who married a count, and has an air of authority to her that makes ppl uncomfortable..i get it)….all we need now is Teresa (the table flipper from jersey to come out with a song… even though she has a voice like Marge Simpson, with technology these days…..:)

  93. 193

    Apparently it can't buy you a top either! She makes me sick!

  94. 194

    wow the money they put into this could of been used to feed a small country!

  95. 195

    HAHAHAHAHA That was hella lame! Gave me a migraine.

  96. 196

    wow ……. thats all i can say…. not a good wow…. bad wow

  97. 197

    Someone needs money to buy a house in NYC and has made a very strange recording on Auto Tune…how awful!

  98. 198

    Obviously money can't buy you class, look at her. pathetic.

  99. 199

    HAHA omg. this is pathetic. and also kind of depressing.. especially for people who work their whole lives to be great singers.. we didn't think we would have to compete with old women and talentless 16 year-olds that can afford a machine to autotune their voice.

  100. 200

    that was the shitiest piece of shit I have ever heard someone sputter out of their mouth since OJ was set free.

More comments: « 1 [2] 3 »