Lindsanity pAArties After Alcohol Education Course!
Oh good!
We're glad she's taking this all SO seriously!
Despite being required by law to take alcohol education courses, Lindsay Lohan usually is far too busy getting blackout drunk to sit in a classroom and learn about the massive damage she's doing to her mind and body.
After being threatened with jail time for violating the terms of her probation, Lindsanity finally decided last night that it would be a good idea to attend one of said classes - but luckily, she's a resourceful little thinker and figured out how she could have the best of the both worlds!!
Only hours after attending her class, La Loca was spotted pAArtying away at Las Palmas until 2:30am! She claimed her class was "good, thank you."
Have fun, bb - your May 20th progress report is fast approaching. It won't be long until your bull shiz entitled ass is thrown into jail!
[Image via Fame Pictures.]
Tags: alcohol education class, drunk, dui, dumbass, las palmas, legal matters, lindsanity, probation, violation
David Boreanaz In "Sincere Pain"
Kendra Was Selling Her Own Sex Tape?
I despise this vapid cun*t. I cannot wait for her to drop dead.
what's your point mario??? did anyone expect differently?
She's a lost cause…maybe she does it for attention because that's the only thing that keeps her on the spotlight, since she has no career and nobody wants to hire a druggie!
She looks 50 year old in the picture…
Mario (or whoever wrote this post, because we know Mario doesn't have time for the blog anymore) you shouldn't be drawing conclusions. Are you a judge? Do you know she is going to jail? Do you get to make the choice?
REPORT ON STUFF, that's fine, HAVE AN OPINION, that's fine. PASSING JUDGEMENT ON PEOPLE just isn't. Perhaps once you have reached perfection and become god, perhaps, until then, you are just another chubby homosexual from Cuba. Move on.
Well she is 23 and has friends there's nothing wrong with it….what a moron.
Re: omfgnoway – HA! "Another chubby homosexual from Cuba". LOVE IT!!!!!
Press Release - "Dina Lohan says, 'Lindsay was NOT drinking at Las Palmas! We BOTH learned in class yesterday that Alcohol is best consumed in moderation and should never be mixed with medication PRESCRIBED by your Doctor. Lindsay was busy last night rehershing for her up coming film where she will portray Linda Lovelace! I can assure you Lindsay spent the entire evening at the Las Palmas BEING Linda Lovelace! I was told that the blow jobs and hand jobs she gave last night were believable and realistic. Lindsay will be nominated for an Oscar for this role!'" In other news - "Lindsay Lohan passed out this afternoon while shopping. Doctors discover that Lindsay was mixing Vicodin, Oxycotin and Clonapin with copious amouts of Alcohol." Press Release - "Dina Lohan says, 'The reports that my daughter was mixing Alcohol with PRESCRIPTION Medication are 100% False. We learned in Alcohol Education NEVER to mix Prescription Medication. The Instructor said nothing about pills found in your sofa cushion or given to you by your friends! I am in contact with my Legal Team and will are considering a Law Suit against the Alcohol Education Program for providing both Lindsay and myself with FALSE and MISLEADING INFORMATION!"
She's going to make a great Prison Bitch…..
Who gives a rat's ass about this stupid girl? Give it up Perez, you're the only one keeping her current.
Headline - "Shortly after issuing a Press Release about Lindsay's behavoir - Dina Lohan passed out, fell down a flight a stairs and broke her hip." Press Release - "Ali Lohan says, 'My mother is doing quite well. I was just in touch with Lindsay and she is horribly worried for our Mother! In fact, Lindsay insisted that they share a room while they both recover and she told me not to worry because they have Mom on really strong Pain Killers." Headline - "Doctors at LA General Hospital find Lindsay Lohan unconsious and foaming at the mouth. Doctors suspect that Lindsay DRANK the entire contents of her Mother's Morphine Drip!"
Lindsay has gone out 2 times in the last 2 weeks in LA. She went to rapper Timbaland's birthday party a week or so ago and she (with Dina) just went to her friend Markus Molinari's birthday party last night and Perez knows this. She also brought a camera crew with her and did not appear intoxicated leaving the club. Anyone who doubts that can go look at the youtube video made last night themselves (notice Perez doesn't show it). Going to a birthday party at a venue is no big deal and it's not the night-after-night partying in clubs that she was doing earlier in the year. Per the alcohol classes, her lawyer states she's in compliance per the amount of classes required and she was found in compliance the last two progress reports.
She is 23 and looks like she is 46 without botox. She is an example how drugs, easy money, insane education and huge success can turn your head over….she has to pair up with the other drug addict paris Hilton…
Get real. There's no way they're gonna send her to jail.
Headline - "Linday Lohan in a Coma. Doctors at LA General Hospital have confirmed that Linday consumed 2 Liters of Morphine. Lohan Lawyers SWARM LA General and meet with Dina Lohan behind closed doors!" Press Release - "Dina Lohan says, 'I want everyone to know that I have instructed my Lawyers to bring a 10 Billion Dollar Lawsuit against LA General Hospital, the Alcohol Education Centers of Greater Los Angeles, the Manufacturers of the Morphine Drip Machines and the manufactuers of Morphine. FACT - I was in agony and asked Lindsay to open my drip wider! Lindsay tried to open it, but the machine was apparently broken! Not wanting to see me in pain - Lindsay used her teeth to try and open the drip and THE BAG OPENED and she ACCIDENTIALLY swallowed the contents! There were NO WARNING LABELS! I assure you Lindsay read all the labels on the Machine! NO WHERE did it say - Do not use your teeth! DANGER contents are DANGEROUS! Also, Lindsay was laying on the floor foaming for over 2 Hours before I was able to locate the Nurse Call Button! There were NO LABELS on my Hospital bed that told me where it was! Once I found the Call Button there were NO INSTRUCTIONS on how to use it! I will be speaking more about the lawsuit later. Please send your prayers!'"
In the picture you can't see where her mother is attached on, slowly sucking the life out of her to try to allow herself to live another year. It's why both Lindsay and Ally look so old.
Re: JailTimeForLindsay –
You rock.
This girl does not want help. I hope she wakes up before it's too late.
I wish this waste of flesh would just get it over with and take her parents with her.
This little stupid C*** is not going to jail, she was a star once, and is still a "celebrity" for being a mess. Judges in CA don't put celebs in jail, I don't know HOW PH ended up there, that was an anomaly for sure. And until she DOES go to jail, she is not going to change, thus, the mess you see today.
Why is she even still in the news? She is not pretty at all, definitely not talented, hasnt made a movie in how long? How is she still news worthy?
Re: JailTimeForLindsay – LMAO!!!!!!!!
Re: JailTimeForLindsay –
LOL!!!
So what? Alcohol Education class does not require one to be living a sober life, does it?
Re: Bobodo –
Eat shit.
Oh for christ's sake, Lohan, get your shit together.
If she is on probation why can she go into a club???
Why this constant drumbeat concerning Lindsay's imminent demise? Addicts and alcoholics can endure for years. Plenty of them still breathing all over the place.
People need to stop pretending like they give a shit about this girl. If she wants to party let her, if she wants to kill herself, let her.
Press Release - "The rumors circulating on the internet that Doctors at LA General Hospital revived Lindsay by wafting a glass of 100 Proof Smirnoff under her nose are UNTRUE. First, when Lindsay does have the occasional cocktail it is ALWAYS Grey Goose! Lindsay has financially supported the Grey Goose Company since the Brand's introduction to the American Market in 2000. She is so devoted to the Brand that I do not mind sharing with you that the CEO of Grey Goose Inc. PERSONALLY called Lindsay in October 2009 to ask what to do about their slumping sales figures! Thanks to Lindsay's advice the Sales Figures DRAMATICALLY IMPROVED overnight! So, much so that the CEO of Grey Goose sent her 10 - 5 Dollar off Coupons! My Lindsay made the cutest joke that day as she displayed the coupons, "Look Mom Food Stamps!" (Sniffle) Please wish my daughter best!"
Upon hearing that Lindsay Lohan was in a coma after drinking 2 Liters of Morphine Tara Ried issued the following statement - "Like, Lindsay is going to be JUST FINE! Like, it was Hospital-Grade Morphine. Like they give that stuff to newborn babies. I was chillaxing with Lindsay on Easter and we were doing Mexican Morphine Shooters all night with double Vodka Chasers. You know, like that Mexican Morphine was cut with cat piss. So, like LIndsay and I were fine 2 days later and laughing about how we shouldn't buy our Morphine from Ramon anymore! You know, like because of the cat piss. Lindsay will be fine in a few days. Like I even bet when she wakes up she'll like want to go party!"
Breaking News – “Doctors successfully wake Lindsay Lohan from Coma. News Conference to be held outside of LA General Hospital” LA General Hospital News Conference – Dr. Thaddeus Goldfarb addresses the Media – “First, due to the pending Law Suit brought by Mrs. Dina Lohan I may not offer comment on how Lindsay Lohan wound up in this most unfortunately state. However, we performed a successful Full Blood and Internal Organ Cleaning using a mild bleach solution and Liquid Plumber on Lindsay. We were revived her at 12:02pm. Unfortunately, there were some side-effects. First, her ovaries were a lost cause and did not respond to cleansing. Second, there appears to have been some mild brain damage. The brain damage should not be noticeable, given Lindsay’s original condition; however, Lindsay now refers to herself as “Mrs. Ling Ling Bok Choy Alabama Ronson.” On the bright-side at 1:15pm Mrs. Ling Ling Bok Choy Alabama Ronson sat up on her own, ate her hospital lunch and asked for a Bottle of Grey Goose and a “sippy straw.””
Re: Bobodo – Go ram a red hot poker up your shitter.
even though her sunglasses are covering most of her face, she still looks 45 years old. look at that foorhead and chin.
Re: edmonton – agreed!!!!!
dude i used to really like her, now she is just some dumb Hollywood bitch who doesnt realize she is getting attention for being an idiot, slutty, money chasing (but no real job) hoe, coke addict looking all meth faced
Re: marythgrt – agreed. i used to like her too
No offense too Perez Hilton, because I love this site, but if the media stopped giving this girl ANY attention she'd finally realize she is doing something wrong. When more and more negative news is reported on her, she is still getting more and more attention. We need to all leave her alone where she recieves no negative attention that she is turning into what she has to survive on.