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Jon Gosselin For Hire!

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Are you looking for someone who is talentless, lazy, offensive to your retinas and occupies space for no adequate reason for your business?

Look no further than Jon Gosselin.

After almost an entire year of doing NOTHING and living off of the pennies his kids put in his piggy bank from their allowance, Jon has finally decided to seek employment … somewhere.

Due to the legal arrangement he has with TLC, Jon isn't allow to flaunt his fug on TV, so that's out. According to sources, he isn't looking to be the face of Depp Gel or invest in a new Ed Hardy line called "Shameful." No, he is looking for something more "substantial," like just a normal 9-to-5 gig!

Good for you, Jon. We think that is a smart move.

And hey, we're sure they are hiring at Subway! Or maybe you can collect the shopping carts in the Ralph's parking lot! Better still, a career as a Wal-Mart greeter might be perfect for you! Bet you'll meet a whole new slew of stoopid whores that way!

[Image via WENN.]

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40 comments to “Jon Gosselin For Hire!”



  1. 1

    ha ha walmart has a policy you must be 65 to work at the door……



  2. 2

    He should clean up his act and go back to what he was doing before the TV show.



  3. 3

    I doubt the people of Subway, Ralph's or Walmart want to work with him either.
    I bet we see him in porn before too long.



  4. 4

    he could hold lady gaga's johnson when she takes a leak. Now that's a job



  5. 5

    Or he can start a blog, have shitty advertisers! and stay at home collecintg fuz from his enlarge belly button, kiss everyone's butt then turn around and back talk about them! kinda like you f*cker



  6. 6

    Wow you fat fuck, I thought you were talking about yourself in this statement

    "Are you looking for someone who is talentless, lazy, offensive to your retinas and occupies space for no adequate reason for your business?

    Sounds just like you!!!!!!!



  7. 7

    rough night at the homeless shelter



  8. 8

    Or he could blog about others misfortunes while licking the white goo out of Lady Gaga's panties…oh wait that jobs taken RIGHT PEREZ?????



  9. 9

    I need a housekeeper.



  10. 10

    So lets see, he took care of all the kids by himself while Kate was away for months at a time on book tours…..but he's the lazy one. Seriously, you either need to admit that Kate pays you or go into therapy for this weird obsession you have with her.



  11. 11

    what??? do you think stupid whores shop at wal-mart??



  12. 12

    Shut the Fuck up, people. Look at finding a way to destroy your own careers and leave his alone. Perhaps he's grasping at strings, because you helped in insuring that this would be all he could have. The day you all become perfect parents, or parents, is the day, you can start putting the actions of others down.



  13. 13

    Re: Luv My White Cotton Panties – Amen to that! Still laughing.



  14. 14

    Maybe he can start a blog and copy and paste all the content from other web sites.



  15. 15

    Or he can set up a website where he draws cocks on celebrity pics :)



  16. 16

    "Are you looking for someone who is talentless, lazy, offensive to your retinas and occupies space for no adequate reason for your business?"

    That whole paragraph applies to his famewhore ex wife too.



  17. 17

    There's no shame in getting a 9 to 5!!!!! Any job is better than nothing (especially in this economy and especially with 8 kids!). I am not sure why Perez is making fun of anyone who would work at WalMart or Ralph's…respect to anyone who busts their tail every day.



  18. 18

    *** Are you looking for someone who is talentless, lazy, offensive to your retinas and occupies space for no adequate reason for your business? ***

    Then hire perez! John may kiss ass, but P takes it IN the ass



  19. 19

    So true story..and i figured you would get a huge laugh out of it…i work at a restaurant called Blind Hartmans Tavern which is like 20 mins from Jon's house…anyway he came in last week an let me tell you how many women were flocking to him..talk about gross…i wouldnt want him near me…bt it was hilarious..an as for his job…he was telling people there he is starting his own tv show..talk about sad…



  20. 20

    Maybe he has learned a lesson and learned whats most important. I wish him luck and the kids as well.



  21. 21

    Re: Quemical – I think Perezeee has a coner on that one and we know he's a douche



  22. 22

    What's wrong with john?! He was an IT analyst when he got married, which i had to really dig for suprisingly,so why can he get a job now? He can't be keeping up with $22,000 a month in child support with no income.Not for long anyway.



  23. 23

    He looks like he smells of urine



  24. 24

    awww every1 should leave him alone…I feel bad for him. hes just trying to live his life like every other human being…NON of us is perfect…Divorces are mostly always ugly and thats why ppl think hes so bad. whats he suppose to do…I want to see a blog about what you (perez) think would of man Jon a better person. Oh and after a divorce EVERY1 has a gudge fuck, its the only way to get over your ex!!



  25. 25

    He's I.T. trained. He could take some CECs or a refresher, recertify and work a desk somewhere. He'd be just another voice over the phone or internet I.T. chat help. Problem solved. Oh, sorry, I forgot … the problem is he doesn't want to work. Great. Ex wife wants nothing but fame and he wants nothing but … well, nothing but nothing.

  26. StayC says – reply to this


    26

    he looks disgusting. what's wrong with his face?

  27. rual says – reply to this


    27

    i just wanted to waste my time to say this guy is a waste: in the whole rounded sense of the word



  28. 28

    Re: SandyBeach
    please don't give him any ideas. you know he reads all these comments



  29. 29

    I am so sick of his fat disgusting ass sucking on a ciggarette in every picture. Only teenagers start smoking for the sake of "looking cool". He has no excuse every single bad thing that has happened to him is directly his fault when he decided to cheat on his wife with 20 year old whores. The fact that he has 8 kids is his fault when he agreed to donate his teeny peen sperm (because you know those things weren't conceived in the conventional sense!). And even if Kate did drive him to his despicable thirties "mid-life crisis" it is his fault for marrying her in the first place. He really grosses me out i'm sorry.



  30. 30

    Hey there's nothing wrong with those jobs. Heck I think they are above that ass!!!

    PS: People talking shit to Perez,what the fuck are you doing on this website?!?!?! There are thousands of other websites that have celebrity gossip that you can go on. Yeah nobody expects you to agree with Perez all the time but you don't have to personally attack him so rudely. If he disgusts you so much then go away!



  31. 31

    He worked in the IT dept of the IRS, which means, he has already passed the strictest background-check. Kate harrased him until he quit the IRS, and started working for her friend Beth' husband; Kate and Beth have a falling-out, and Jon's job with Bob (beth' husband) disappeared. It was a good job, as he spent about 70% more time at home, because he telecommuted/"webbed in" as Jon stated on the show.

  32. Dr_C says – reply to this


    32

    Are you looking for someone who is talentless, lazy, offensive to your retinas and occupies space for no adequate reason for your business?

    Look no further than Perez Hilton.



  33. 33

    Any one of those jobs you make fun of are of more substance than this fucking site you fudgepacker. You should kill your worthless self.



  34. 34

    So ugly!



  35. 35

    Wow, alot of peeps hate Parez on th is site…



  36. 36

    Why does the guy always get fucked over in the divorce?



  37. 37

    I would bet any money that Jon and Kate has had a deal between the 2 of them as far as him not having to pay any support for those half breeds. She all of a sudden has the go ahead to do what she wants to do with TLC and all the other shit that she needs to be in the spotlight for. Maybe she's even paying him to keep his mouth shut to let her do what she wants to do when she wants to do it. How else is he supporting himself.



  38. 38

    Re: Luv My White Cotton Panties – but why do you read this blog then?



  39. 39

    Fuck you Perez.



  40. 40

    woooow
    that really sux that he has to work at a regular 9-5 job like the rest of us!!!!!!
    lol

    i'm just wondering what ppl will say to him. he needs a less obvious job in order to NOT get recognized!