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John's Shitty Reason For Canceling Euro Tour!

| Filed under: Music MinuteJohn Mayer


This morning, John Mayer's team announced that the douchey singer wouldn't be finishing his European tour as he fell victim to a "mysterious illness."

We were genuinely concerned. We thought he was actually very ill. Then we heard what his affliction was…


Yeah, that's right! That's all! Doesn't that just stink???


Sources are reporting that John allegedly fled from his tour due to a case of food poisoning. Supposedly, John spent the night on the john after he ate something nasty at the catering table in Copenhagen. This "intestinal illness" was allegedly painful enough for John to request to return home!

Do they not have Pepto-Bismol in Denmark? If we were his tour promoters, we'd be pissed at his shiz! That's a lot of a money lost over the squirts!

Bet you don't care at all, do you John?

[Image via WENN.]

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84 comments to “John's Shitty Reason For Canceling Euro Tour!”

  1. 1

    Uhm, have you ever had food poisoning? You are so sick you WISH you were dead. He may need to be hospitalized with IV fluids for several days– I had to when I had food poisoning. Don't be such a douche, Perez.

  2. 2

    Give him a dick.

  3. 3

    If the food poisening is bad enough it can cause some serious health problems, even death. Also it doesn't make you feel to good. I'm not a huge fan of Mayer but STFU Perez.

  4. 4

    Apparently all the crap that comes out of his mouth has backed up and is now coming out of his ass.

  5. 5

    What's the matter Perezee, he dump on you?

  6. 6

    Yeah perez or his ghostwriter is an idiot. I got food poisoning and lost 18 pounds. You cannot get on stage and perform if you have to go shit every 2 seconds or stay in the bathroom at hours on end. and in some severe cases you have to have I.V fluid drips due to dehydration.

  7. 7

    I hope you get diarrhea Perez. See if you'd go out in public with it.

  8. 8

    I'm sure you'd still want to tap that ass, Perez!

  9. 9

    All that naplam finally got to him, not all cooch is fresh John

  10. 10

    cmon.. he's been on tour for like 6 months and has another US tour lined up.. give the dude a break!

  11. 11

    u obviously never had poisoning u stupid ignorant irrelevant twat. i dont like mayer but this is such a shit post

  12. JoeyW says – reply to this


    Trust you to change your mind within seconds, eh Mario. I am positive John did not take this cancellation lightly. A gastrointestinal virus can have serious effects such as dehydration. Before pointing the finger I suggest you do some proper research before spouting nonsense.

  13. 13

    mario - you're not a doctor, don't go making statements on something you know nothing about. "gastro" problems can be very serious, even life threatening…..it's more than just a case of the shits that you get everyday fat boy…….

  14. 14

    Ummm, like Lisafrom said, have you ever had food poisoning?? I was going on vacation one day and got food poisoning. Everything I drank and ate came out of every hole in my body. I vomitted the way the kid in the Exorcist did. I was laid up for days. Every body part hurt and I lost so muc weight in those days. It is not as easy as to take pepto bismo..he would shit and vomit that up as well.. People die from food poisoning.. Perez, you are truly a major idiot..

  15. 15

    hasnt he always had diarrhea?

  16. 16

    I've had food poisoning and it's horrible! Perez you need to fuck off.

  17. 17

    Food poisoning is horrible, idiot. It's not just diarrhoea, I had it a few months ago and had a temperature, chills, very painful stomach cramps and sickness. I could barely get out of bed!
    Touring is physically demanding, I don't blame him for ducking out.

  18. vlm says – reply to this


    everyone beat me to it. food poisoning sucks! i got stuck on the toilet at walmart!

  19. 19

    sorry to say that but WHO CARES?

    F*** off John Mayer. Whod know u if werent Jennifer Annistons on-off-lover?

  20. 20

    I'll say it again … STD! (Food poisoning … riiiiight)

  21. 21

    Hey Dr. Perez. Do your research. Food Posioning can be a very serious illness, even life threatening. Of course you would know nothing of this subject but i bet cha if your "wifey" got it, you would understand why she had to cancel her tour. You would post more get well wishes than we could keep up with. So to get to the point, Perez STFU and stop being such an idot.

  22. 22

    you FAT tub of SHIT - I had food poisoning once and was laid up for almost a week - couldn't get any solid food down and barely kept the liquids down. until it happens to you, donkeyface, don't go slamming someone who HAS it. hope you get it from the next load you eat.

  23. 23

    I've had two serious cases before. Both times I had to be rushed to the ER and given fluids. I was completely out of it for over a month. I don't even like John, but I feel his pain. Choke on a dick, Perez.

  24. 24

    Uhhh, I had an intestinal infection from food poisoning that was THE most painful thing I've dealt with. Worse than kidney stones. For someone that doesn't take it up the ass, diarrhea is awful. So fuck off.

  25. 25

    Diarrhea is the number one killer of people all across the world.

  26. 26

    Never had Food Poisoning but I imagine it's a bitch.
    Doesn't really make him a "Douche" for pulling out the concert.

  27. 27

    i don't understand WHY he cancelled his TOUR. and not just a few days or something.
    i DO know i would cancel something as well if i had diarrhea or food poisoning. but not the whole tour.

  28. tasha says – reply to this


    Are you really so fucking stupid that you don't know some cases of food poisoning can actully kill you. Hope you eat some really bad food soon.

  29. m.j says – reply to this


    Food poisoning is a awful! Ugh, I remember when I had it. It was coming from both ends spontaneously! I told my mom I was dying and she just laughed and told me everything was gonna be alright. Of course it went away but still. I wanted to die..

  30. 30

    Food poisoning can be severe, and even deadly in some cases. Clearly Mario, you have never experienced it. It is extremely painful and people are often hospitalized with it. It's awful, and very scary. If you didn't know exactly what you had, you might think you were going to die. I dont blame him one bit.

  31. 31

    Hey Perez, guess what? I have Crohn's Disease, a gastrointestinal illness - the effects are similar to food poisoning. When I was sick, I was hospitalized for a month from dehydration and anemia, all because of diarrhea.
    So yeah, douchebag much?

  32. 32

    obviously you havent ever had diarrhea all day for many days. its really unpleasant. thats why it can be life threatening in babies. it takes away all your fluids & yr bum hurts & yr stomach hurts.

  33. 33

    I'd pull this post down Perez. Food poisoning is horrible. The vomiting feels like you've been kicked in the stomach only the boot isn't removed. It lasts for days. And the last place you want to be is in a foreign country with foreign food, foreign smells and a hotel bathroom. Uggggh.

  34. 34

    Lol someone beat me to it. I was going to say the shit that comes out of his mough every day came out of his ass this time.
    It's low ticket sales. They are just too embarrassed to tell the truth.

  35. 35

    Like everyone else said, food poisoning is no joke. It can be very serious. But YOU get hit in the face ONCE and get one little cut and you flip out and cry like you almost died. Fucking idiot.

  36. 36

    ummm sounds like a good reason to me.

  37. 37

    diarrhea can actually be pretty dangerous….

  38. 38

    Kaopectate treats diarrhea; I wouldn't take Pepto. But I can tell you that if you have bad diarrhea no, you can't perform on stage or leave your bed/toilet.

    Dehydration is only one of the bad side effects.

  39. 39

    If you have food poisoning, DO NOT take pepto bismol. Any doctor will tell you that. Jackass

  40. @v@ says – reply to this


    It would depend on the severity, and the why. This is not necessarily the reason.

  41. 41

    That's all? Right Perez, I'd love to see you get food poisoning and feel up to performing to thousands of people every night. Oh yeah, that's right, you aren't an artist. You have no idea how he is doing or feeling. Like he wanted to cancel those shows, shut your mouth.

  42. 42

    P, you've obviously never had food poisoning and as JM once pointed out so accurately, you have no idea what you are talking about. Someday when it is coming out both ends (not that you don't metaphorically do that already), remember that karma is a big fat b, bb.

  43. 43

    Your comments are just ridiculous Perez. Give the guy a break. Read up on traveller's food poisoning before posting ridiculous comments. Once you get hold of someone, you just refuse to let it go and instead continue with bad press - you certainly are a poor sport - what happened to you that has made you so bitter?

  44. 44

    Um…food poisoning is no joke, Perez!!! Thanks to IT, I can no longer eat BANANA PUDDING.
    I can't even THINK about BANANA PUDDING without my poor tummy wanting to groan at the prospect of BANANA PUDDING.
    Oddly enough, I still can eat OTHER banana-related foods, along with bananas themselves lol. :P

  45. 45

    Just because Perez walks around 24/7 with diarrhea shit in his pants doesn't mean any one else enjoys it .

  46. Bree says – reply to this


    I don't need to point out everything that is wrong with this post, as everyone else already has. But one thing does need to be said again…Perez, you are one fucking idiot.

  47. JCPR says – reply to this


    put a dick up his ass so it stops the diarrhea! lmao funniest story of the day!

  48. JCPR says – reply to this


    Re: vlm – lmao that's tragic getting stuck at a walmarts restroom

  49. 49

    He had 4 dates left on the Euro tour….why don't you state the facts!!! John is done in Europe on 6/5 and then starts his summer tour in Charlotte on 7/15. Four shows…bands/performers have shut down tours for much less for a lot longer!!

  50. 50

    BTW…the shows in Amsterdam were sold out and the show in Madrid is a Festival…I don't think JM would go to all that trouble to fake an illness just to get out of a couple of shows because of low sales. Plus if he was don't you think it would be something other than an illness where you have shit coming out of your ass 24/7??? Just sayin'!!

  51. 51

    Hey homes, if you've got something that even Immodium AD can't stop- I feel for you. If that's just an excuse? You're an asshole. A raw chaffing asshole.

  52. 52

    I would pay 5x the ticket price to see this douche crap his pants on stage!

  53. 53

    As a being who takes cock up his ass for romantic reasons YOU should know how pain ful it is to have something rushing out of your anus perezito. i dont like the guy but ive been there, diarrhea ….especially the type that doesnt stop is a very good reason to not go into work lol

  54. 54

    I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to be at a concert where JM is puking and shitting all over the stage. Doesn't sound like a good time to me. I hope you are inflicted with a bout of diarrhea and are forced to stay in public.

  55. 55

    the loose poops will getcha… even john mayer. but hes poopy anyway so its not much of a stretch

  56. 56

    try puking and shitting at the same time until you're dry heaving and downing water so something comes up (and down) when you're sick with food poisoning..i doubt he'd be able to perform while vomiting and shitting at the same time…wouldn't even be able to do your job of typing all day….

  57. 57

    Perez please shut up and leave John alone. I think your just jealous, someone actually has a real talent and is making money for it. Leave him alone you ugly waste of space.

  58. 58

    Perez's rectum is so badly damaged I doubt he could feel the sensation of diarrhea. That and he's used to fluids leaking onto his manties daily.

  59. 59

    You actually say something nice about John today which I was quite shocked and pleased about at the same time..and then you say this shit. As everyone has clearly stated, this is not something to take lightly. You are so full of it, Perez. He actually cares about his fans more than you'd like to admit….or comprehend, so get the fuck over yourself.

  60. 60

    He wouldn't never dissappoint his fans and fake an illness, he actually loves his job, and hardly ever cancels! So if he's cancelling three shows, it must be pretty severe. I'd rather not see him sick on stage throwing up, food poisoning sucks so bad. Poor guy, get some rest, John!

  61. 61

    Perez, You are a talentless little bitch. Get over this scorned ex lover type af obssession you have with John. It's quite disgusting how much of an obssessed little girl you have become. I know that you are perfect and would never ever get sick. The most stress you have in your life is when you can't find a bad article about John Mayer online to talk about and draw immature stuff on his pictures to. John just spent every day since October touring and that is alot of work. Maybe you should just shut your hole about him. He is fucking sick. Food poisoning is deadly. I will personally make you something that will give you food poisoning then we will see what you think. asshole

  62. 62

    oh why our comments no show up?

  63. 63

    I agree — severity of this affliction aside, Mayer really does care about his fans (or does a great job pretending he does). Plenty of other pop stars cancel over less… it's obvious this is just personal. Not cool.

  64. 64

    dude i had food poisoning and it was fucking awful, way to make something out of nothing, its kinda sad youre still so bitter. And as for the reason, by him saying "he would call it a n-word pass" thats him showing he doesnt have one because otherwise he would be able to say it without people freaking out, you proved his point dumbass, anyone that thinks he is racist is retarded, he seems pretty laid back and i doubt he's racist. Youre just a hater perez, you should focus more on outing people who are gay because apparently you get to decide when other people come out.

  65. 65

    Food poisoning is an awful, awful thing. Horrid. I actually feel sympathy for him. He may have done/said offensive things in the past, but he's still a human being. I'd never wish it on anyone!

  66. balls says – reply to this



  67. 67

    John Mayer sucks

  68. 68

    You lack true empathy and compassion for other human beings. As a Gay man whos experienced discrimination and hate yourself, I find it so very difficult to understand why you would then continue to perpetuate hate and slanderous intent toward other's, whether you like them or not. If you don't like him - why not just ignore everything to do with him? "Intestinal" issues does not constitute a case of the shit's (as if you don't crap all over yourself on a regular basis) and you're ignorant for even insinuating it's only a tour cop-out on his behalf. Get your fat ass out there and try to tour for 6 month's straight and see how energetic and healthy you would be- you wouldn't last 5 shows. First you would have to know how to write a song, and deliver it - which is what you probably envy the most in him… the little boy rockstar dreams that never panned out. There's always oldschool Las Vegas dear. And, let's get one thing clear. Until you've been closely involved or had intestinal issues that were life threatening yourself… you have no clue what the f*ck you're talking about. It's absurd that you would take cheap shot's like this when people who have issues already deal with enough bullshit. Chrones for instance is fatal in 5-10% of the people who develop it, within the first 5 years after diagnosis. That also cases "the shit's" so get your fact's straight before the shit starts running from your mouth.

  69. 69

    I am one of the people who was was meant to be seeing him in Manchester this weekend, and yes, I'm gutted, but you seriously have no right to say that he's a "wuss" for cancelling. Food poisoning can be very serious, which is something you clearly didn't think about before writing this shitty post on a subject you know nothing about. I don't get where your immense hatred for him comes from. He may well be arrogant and say things at the wrong time, but at least he actually has a talent. If anyone is devastated about him pulling out of his tour it's me, but at least I have the decency to respect his reasons for doing so. You're such a dick.

  70. 70

    Probably more to do with the fact that only five people in Europe have ever heard his music. Does he even have any fans outside of America?

  71. 71

    Re: LisafromOP – That's exactly the same thing I was going to say. Having food poisoning is miserable. I'm sure it wasn't just diarrhea. You usually have it coming out both ends. Pepto Bismol, immodium, none of that shit helps. When I had it I was miserable and we were in the middle of moving overseas and clearing out our house at the time. To this day I cannot eat pesto, even looking at it turns my stomach! You are a fucking asshole!!!

  72. 72

    Oh Perez….I adore you but…Have you ever had an intestinal virus or food poisoning? I have a high pain tolerance and the one time I had it sent me to the emergency room begging for drugs! This is too much information but I was literally throwing up (heaving) while at the same time shitting in my pants and had absolutely no control over it. I wouldn't go anywhere under those conditions. You have a bad habit of not empathizing with the people you dislike. Not nice since you expect everyone to empathize with your own issues. Just sayin.

  73. 73

    Seriously Perez? I really used to like you but every day you make it more apparent that you don't have a clue.

  74. 74

    oh well
    he's the one losing out
    he knows it
    he still made the call

  75. 75

    It is probably a very serious case of food poisoning or worse, and I think he reserves the right to share as much or as little about it as he chooses. Love you Perez and not a huge John Mayer fan but leave the guy alone. He's likely very ill and that's no laughing matter for anyone. I had food poisoning at 37 weeks pregnant- it was scary as hell..

  76. 76

    If it was that bad, then your health should be priority above anything else. John made a wise choice. The fans should understand that!

  77. 77

    Re: lariachi – for sure. I hate how some of them are whining. be disapointed, but to be pissed off? Food poisoning is dangerous and not fun. A person staying alive is more importnant that risking health to do a concert. He doesnt owe anyone that much. He doesnt owe anyone anything. The fans choose to like them he doesnt say if ur my fan I will die for you. Get Well Soon John, we are waiting for the good news that you are all better :)

  78. 78

    Get better, John! Don't worry about what this trick has to say….

  79. 79

    What a man! ha ha 32 years old and has to cancel part of his tour because of 'food poisoning'. Now THAT is funny!!! Look at Tina Turner who is 70 years old and has NEVER cancelled! She has performed in a hell of a lot worse conditions and circumstances than this guy…which is precisely why she is known as a legend, and he will never be.

  80. 80

    Re: amyrockz – Have you had food poisoning? Would you really want to go watch him play guitar while he was throwing up doubled over in pain. you stupid bitch

  81. 81

    What a moron you are to actually 'believe' that he has 'food poisoning'. Who's the stupid bitch now?!! Looks like you are! John Mayer is done.

  82. 82

    Re: amyrockz – How exactly is he done? You do know that he is human and humans do get sick. What magical being told you he doesn't have it? I get that there are haters out there, but I don't get how you can say he is done. I don't forsee him "being done" he has had a great career with success. Fans who love him and that's more than enough to take away from the losers who hate him *cough perez cough*

  83. 83

    Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, DIARRHEA!!!!!

  84. 84

    Re: amyrockz – You are ridiculous. If you think John is so "done" then stop fucking commenting an stuff about him! Good lord! John is a legend in his own right—you've obviously never read an article filled with praises from guitar legends…B.B King…Clapton…this list can go on forever! According to you, you like Amy Winehouse who can barely lift her head bc shes always so wasted from whatever drug or drink she had that day, so I can't really take your comments towards John seriously seeing as how even if he drinks…he can at least control himself. He happens to be ill right now, so why don't you just back off!