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Christmas Will Never Be The Same Again, And You Can Blame Khia!

| Filed under: Music MinuteWacky, Tacky & True


That 'Thug Misses' Khia has such a way with words!

The rapper recently decided that her sex life was worth discussing, and treated the world to a very explicit, detailed description of her top three ways to get down!

Our favorite is number two, but pick for yourself:

1) "Plain sex is so boring. Get all dressed up [for him]. Roleplay is the ultimate. Everyone’s into this threesome thing, but there’s no way there’s going to be another woman with my man because I’ma beat you and drag you. So ladies play different women so you can keep your man excited. Try different wigs [or] dress up like a maid. I love fishnets and having sex in heels. Guys always go to the strip club because you bitches are boring in the bedroom. Turn into the stripper for your guy. If he comes home and you got those heels on and it’s late, he knows what time it is. You know I got a pole in my house—I got a portable pole (laughs). Have on something sexy and just seduce him. Go to portablepole.com, it’ll pop up."

2) "Don’t be scared to bring candies and toys into the bedroom. Some guys are jealous of dildos because of the size, so what I did to kind of ease [my ex-husband] is introduce him to jumbo candy canes that they give at Christmas time. I like that better because number one, it doesn’t look like a penis that’s bigger than him, so he won’t be jealous. Plus, it makes the vagina taste wonderful and the peppermint makes it tingle a little bit when he blows. It’s good when he’s giving you head; it looks fun and kiddie-like going in, so he’s not intimidated."

3) "Blindfolding is also good, and handcuffs too. You can get all kinds of games where you roll the dice and one side says ‘blow me, kiss me’… I like all that kinky stuff. But you better not whip me!"

Goodness gracious, everything she writes is poetry to our ears!

We think gurl needs to start an advice column! The world needs your wisdom, Khia!

Please, keep it coming! Don't disappoint us!

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95 comments to “Christmas Will Never Be The Same Again, And You Can Blame Khia!”

  1. antom says – reply to this



  2. 2

    She looks like a friggen man. What is this shit. Never heard of her.

  3. 3


  4. antom says – reply to this



  5. antom says – reply to this



  6. 6

    FUCK ME SIDEWAYS!!! Gurl, has some fab tips…..How far along is Christmas?

  7. 7

    Yay, A girl that isn't afraid to please her man. That being said, I still don't understand why girls will use a dildo thats 4 times bigger than an average pen size..All it does is stretch em out and make em less appealing towards guys..

  8. antom says – reply to this



  9. 9

    Sticking candy in your vagina is going to seriously upset your pH balance and probably put you at HIGH risk at developing a pretty serious yeast infection. Sugar and vaginas DO NOT mix.

    I think this chick is getting a kick-back from Monistat because if girls start getting cute and shoving candy up their cooters, there are going to be a lot of itchy, yeasty vaginas lining up at every Rite-Aid and Duane Reade from coast to coast! I assure you, yeast infections suck, and sugar has NO PLACE in a vagina!

    If you want REAL advice about how to make things pleasant "down there", here it is: eat fruit! Eat a lot of peaches, pineapple, apples, strawberries…….just eat fruit! The more the better and it'll reflect "down there", Khia should be sued by all the poor idiots that are going to be getting down with a candy cane and then have to shell out 25 dollars to clear up the subsequent YEAST INFECTION.

    Khia is an idiot with a stanky cooter! Vaginas don't need minty freshness if you know how to wash yourself properly.

  10. antom says – reply to this



  11. 11

    Then she can make some vag bread after because that's a great way to get a yeast infection. Nasty!

  12. CocoK says – reply to this


    Ugh, someone actually performs oral on that broad? I bet she's covered in chlamydia.

  13. antom says – reply to this



  14. 14

    Some of her advice is right on.

  15. 15

    I hate when females think they have to be the ones to go out of their way to keep the man interested.
    Men need to put the effort in and please us women too!! Why don't they go out and buy a pair of sexy boxers for once to give us some eye candy.

  16. 16

    I'll absolutely take this advice from her to heart! She seems HIGHLY educated :)

  17. 17

    UMMMMMMM…If your man's dick is smaller than a big peppermint stick, there's an issue! WTF!!! HAHAHHAHAHAA! Get the fuck outta here!!!!!!

  18. 18

    Um, candy SHOULD NOT be going into anyone's vagina. Sugar and coslopus do not mix. It'll mess with her Ph balance and she can get some pretty nasty yeast infections. Good luck getting your man to go down on you with that shit going on! THIS IS THE DOWNFALL OF AMERICA, RIGHT HERE. There are stupid people like her all over America, except they usually also have 4-5 kids at home with 3-4 different baby daddies. Trust.

  19. 19


  20. 20

    crusty, blistery skank

  21. 21

    can you say Yeast Infection?

  22. 22

    Alrighty to some of that. Just leave the candy out. Wow!

  23. 23

    1. Putting candy up your woo-ha will cause a terrible infection. Won't
    taste so good after that.

    2. Who wants to see her in anything but a body bag with a paper bag on her head?

    3. Handcuff and blindfold. He handcuffs you to the bed with a blindfold on your

  24. 24

    Re: antom – um……LMAO. WTF?

  25. 25

    (Hurls chunks)

  26. 26

    I'm sure you love the thought of th peppermint up your bum bum! hehe

  27. wolfe says – reply to this


    She must be highly educated. pfftt

  28. 28

    lol perez why would you post about her??

    she is irrelevant even in the hip hop world
    im from tampa (where she is from) and even as a local artist this crazy bitch is a nobody

    ughh looking at her makes me itch

  29. 29

    khia is the HBIC

  30. 30

    "it looks fun and kiddie-like going in"

    Riiiiight. Kids are the last thing I'm thinking of in the bedroom, for more than one reason. Plus the fact your gonna get some nasty infection from shoving sugary food up there. Nasty bitch.

  31. 31

    who or what is she? feel sorry for the mom and dad or maybe she was hatched in the forest late at night when noone was around. she/he/it is NOT of this world for sure! makes u wonder what kind of person listens to that kind of music?????????????

  32. 32

    Re: hubwoof – "who or what is she?"

    Excellent question.
    Maybe she was raised by wolves, a la Romulus and Remus.

  33. 33

    Ummm, someone correct me if i'm wrong but I heard this ho was HIV+ or has aids.. so shouldnt she not be sticking things up her cooche and having ppl lick it?

  34. 34

    So let me get this straight… men cheat because the women in their life is boring? Way to blame women for a man's idiotic behavior. Fucking juvenile.

  35. 35

    #2 is hilarious. I love it

  36. 36


  37. 37

    Check out Khia's latest video "Been A Bad Girl" shot at www.factorybrooklyn.com

  38. 38

    Re: justme09 – I knew someone will say something about her lack of relevance. You're spot on. Can't stand her ignorance.

  39. 39

    lol she is funny!!! That peppermint thing is NASTY!!! "peppermint makes it tingle a little bit when he blows" hahaha weird!!!!

  40. 40

    She must have been found in a local street corner.

  41. 41

    Re: that1tallchick – I really appreciate you telling us this because there are probably some chicks on here that may be willing to try the peppermint thing but she shouldn't!! Thanks :-)

  42. 42

    what the deal with gay white bloggers and this woman i know another dude who's obsessed with her

  43. 43

    I love Khia, my neck my back.
    hahaha I love this ghetto hoe

  44. 44

    Thats pure and utter grossness.

  45. 45

    Okay lady, who ever you are. The only things going up my cooch are my doctors, my boyfriend, my tampon and my once a month organic douche cleanse after my period. Maybe she's putting it in with the wrapper? Lolz whatever.

  46. 46

    Re: NookiesWA – I think 4 times bigger maybe going to far. That said you never use the biggest dildo you have with your man,, you save that for your alone time

  47. 47

    Love the advise girl!!!!!!!! Truthful and wise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  48. 48

    i bet u this ugly face bitch thinks she is all that and wants to be better than the guys sexist i could tell.

  49. 49

    I can never eat candy canes or have sex again!!!! OMG she made me throw up a bit!

  50. deni says – reply to this


    Yeah right! This bread don't know what the hell she talking about!

    Fergie was the same way about pleasing her man, Josh Duhamel, and putting on costumes and kinking it up and guess what? HE STILL CHEATED ON HER WITH A HOOKER!

  51. 51

    I love how photoshopped her gut is. It still hangs over the panties. I bet it looks like a big saggy nutsack in real life. *slap slap*

  52. 6one9 says – reply to this


    I have to 100% agree with her.. Men are afraid “` of a fucking dildo!! GO figure!!

  53. 53

    Re: chunkeh – Yeah uhh..Which stretches them out lol..60% of girls cannot even orgasm via intercourse no matter how big the dildo is..it simply cannot hit and stimulate the Gspot hard enough..Granted it feels hella good but most women cannot actually achieve an orgasm like that, and considering the nerve endings and the gspot is only 2 inches in..Girls that claim they like big dinkies or girls that actually date guys solely on peen size "Size queens" are literally beyond stupid and a waste of space ..and believe me theres girls like that out there..

  54. 54

    Re: MelissaGirl – Exactly what I was saying earlier; better than costumes, why don't they figure out where the clitoris is, how it works, how foreplay (real foreplay) can turn a tired woman into a turned on woman, and best of all - Don't switch f*cking positions all the time! There's no need to experience the entire Kama Sutra in one night. The average woman's orgasm during sex takes @ 15 minutes of constant stimulation. As my Obg/Yn put it: a female orgasim is like a train ride up a mountain; you keep moving and going, and once you're almost there, your guy either gets excited and doubles the rythm thinking this will help you (no, it doesn't; you were doing it the right way before!) or suddenly decides he wants reverse cowgirl or he wants to bend you over the bath tub. This is where your "train ride" ends, ABRUBTLY. Do rock the boat, gentlemen, but please don't stop the train.

  55. 55

    What an ugly ghetto skanked out looking piece of shit.

  56. 56

    We are just making it so hard for ourselves. Everyone expects sex to be a bloody 3 ring circus these days! No wonder people feel unsatisfied! The day I take sex advice from a tattoed female rapper, is the day I give up on the entire human race and go and live in a cave somewhere!

  57. 57

    Holy crap is this lil waynes twin?

  58. 58

    Re: NookiesWA
    You do realize, the "Gspot" isn't the only way of getting an orgasm right? You do realize the most common way is through clitorial stimulation. Have you never took a sex ed/ anatomy class?
    Re: trinigirl123
    Yea, Hey, guess what? Thats tmi. k thanks. Save it for Holidays at the dinner table with your family and loved ones.

  59. 59


  60. 60

    she's disgusting. slap some tattooes on my 62 year old mom, put her in this slutty outfit and you have a better bod and more class. for realzzz.

  61. 61

    I wonder how many yeast infections this bitch has had.

  62. 62

    For all the ladies who are actually going to attempt this tricks advice, enjoy your fucking yeast infection!

  63. 63

    Khia is pure garbage….. she is the ugliest chick ever to rap…. 4 real… Perez why even give this skank any press…. she isnt relevant… and even repeating the trash that spews out of the disgusting ass mouth attatched to her ugly ass face gives her more press than this trick deserves….. she is talentless…. horrendous looking…. and she needs to give up tryin gto be famous… bc she is a never has been… never willl be… never was peice of trash…. die a slow death hoe…. u are garbage!

  64. 64

    Another disgusting black whore….who could have guessed!

  65. 65

    "so what I did to kind of ease [my ex-husband]" can't figure that out?

  66. 66

    Re: Hate Low Class People – you indeed are a class less waste of life i could have counted on you to make some racist ass comment
    stupid red necks these days.. don't you got some wife to beat or some raccoon to eat??

  67. 67

    How to keep your man interested? Simple.

    Don't look like Khia.

  68. 68

    Well…….she did sing My Neck My Back….

  69. 69

    children and yeast infections, way to spice things up in the bedroom

  70. rayna says – reply to this


    Nothing she suggests can make up for that ugly body and face.

  71. 71

    aaaaw, what a sweetie. Reminds me of that song by the Baha Men….. 'Who let the dogs out?'

  72. 72

    so amazingly enlightening, thanks for sharing "just-released-from-jail-looking" skank.

  73. 73

    She's ugly and i'm gonna laugh my ass off when her guy will cheat on her. Then she can blame herself for 'not doing' enough in the bedroom.
    Stupid bitch, that's not why men cheat.

  74. 74

    Re: NookiesWA – And now we all know that you have a very small dick.

  75. 75

    yah i had those things on a script when i worked as a phone sex operator
    dont forget to add that when u orgasm u have to screamloud

  76. 76


  77. 77

    Good advice–can't argue with that!

  78. 78

    anyone with half a brain knows not to put anything with sugar/glycerine anywhere near the vagina, its asking for a yeast infection!

  79. 79

    EddieSpahgetti, oh that's her? That song is gross. JessicaTandyWasMyHero, lolz that WAS TMI. Just like a Sag to say too much.

  80. 80

    LOL LOL LOL LOL. Omg Khia is too much!!!! The candy cane shit is gross, seriously…it is! Now we know why Khia always looks so mad, she must have one gross chronic yeast infection down there! My neck, my back, I got yeast in my crack. Good luck with that Khia! LOL LOL LOL LOL

  81. 81

    Re: poorlittlerichiegirl – I second your notion

  82. 82

    What a fucking sight! Why does anyone think tats are sexy, they are fugly!!

  83. 83

    Omg putting anything edible in the vagina is off limits! It has the potential to cause infections! what an idiot!!

  84. 84

    Re: that1tallchick – U totally nailed it in a colorful way!!! I love it!!

  85. 85

    Re: Caligulascousin – LOL, I know, right?

  86. 86

    Re: dearendlessly – ROFL @ "What is this shit." That cracked me up.

  87. 87

    Re: JulesGules – Amen to that! So true.

  88. 88

    Re: kitty9 – LMFAO! @ "What a fucking sight!" That was fucking hilarious and so true.

  89. 89

    Stay classy. What a pig

  90. 90

    Re: ParalyZzzZzer – NO YOU

  91. 91

    Re: antom – : Clever. "Man CACA." You are a literary genius. I'm positive she's never heard that one before. Maybe you need to go back to the kindergarten days and follow the simple saying: "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." Get a life, and stop hating on celebrities.

  92. 92

    I'm already goint to portablepole.com. Hahahaha…

  93. 93

    And I'm going to buy a jumbo candy… God, she is terrible. She should try some vegetables too…

  94. @v@ says – reply to this


    Well, at least she's comfortable with her sexuality, monistat aside.Re: Hate Low Class People – There are disgusting whores of all colors, but they're probably ALL cooler than you are. You can bet they don't try to make themselves feel bigger by trying to make others feel small when most are not disgusting whores.

  95. 95

    Oh hell yeah Khia plzz keep it coming! i luv her and she should have her own column and her own tv show and her own radio show cuz she knoe what tha fuck she talking about and every single song she has made were hits! but hatin ass bitches dont want to acknowlege tht cuz there haters! and shes whats up!…i want to hear more too Perez!….