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Orange Oprah "Fears" For LiLo's Life In The Slammer!

| Filed under: Lindsay LohanLegal MattersDina Lohan


The Lohan family never ceases to amaze us!

There isn't enough money in the world to get Dina Lohan to shut up about her daughter going to prison. In fact, we'd wager she is going to make the rounds of her favorite media outlets at least a dozen times before she has had her fill of famewhoring.

Funny how Lindsay Lohan has no problem with this. She gets so furious when her daddy blabs on and on to the press. Then again, she might get a cut of Dina's profits. Money is love!

In Touch Weekly asked Dina some "tough" questions about Lindsanity's impending prison time. Dina gave her typical, eloquent answers, blaming everyone in the world for her daughter's misfortune, but herself…and her daughter. Some of the highlights:

How does Lindsay feel about going to jail?
When the decision came down, it was horrific. We hugged and cried a lot. But we’re optimists. Lindsay is sober and she’s fine. I don’t want to speak hypothetically [about jail] because she’s not going to be in that situation.

But the judge says she has to be in jail by July 20.
We’re taking it one day at a time. I don’t know what the outcome will be.

What have you said to your other children about Lindsay going to jail?
I don’t have to tell them anything. My son is 22 and graduated summa cum laude and he knows. My other son is 14 and he’s out on the lacrosse field getting ridiculed. Ali is in school with these girls being mean to her because of this situation. It’s not easy being us.

When people say, “What did you do for her, Dina?”, how do you respond?
She went to rehab before the court ordered her. When I put my daughter in rehab, I knew she needed it. In 2007 — not currently.

Is Lindsay 100 percent sober now?

Kids lie to their parents. Do you think she’s ever been dishonest to you about drinking or drugs?
I’m going to keep it general. I give my kids enough room — I don’t smother them. I think you have to let them make their own failures to make success. We’re all going to fail at one point at something.

As a smoker, how will Lindsay deal with not being able to smoke in jail?
When the time comes, she probably will have to get hypnotized, but again, we’re hoping it doesn’t come to that.

What is she the most scared of about jail?
She is claustrophobic, so she’s in fear of that.

What are you most scared of?
If Lindsay went to jail, I would fear for her life. Jail doesn’t help anyone no matter what problem you have — unless you’re a rapist or a murderer. This wasn’t a violent crime, but they’re saying you miss a DUI class and have to go to jail for three months — that’s absurd.

Are you worried about Lindsay overdosing now?
Every mother worries about their children every day, all the time.

What are Lindsay’s goals for the future?
Lindsay actually wants to open up her own rehab center here [in LA] and a couple across the country to help other kids and celebs so they don’t fall through the cracks in this town. She mentioned it to me a couple of days ago. She’s really growing up.

You know what's also really absurd: missing your daughter's sentencing hearing and then lying about being there for her when the verdict came down. (P.S.- You still haven't told us where you were last Tuesday, bb!)

Also absurd, not taking ownership of the fact that you effed up your kid by pushing them into the Hollywood life even though they obviously couldn't handle it. And then, denying that your kid has a serious drug problem so you don't look like a worse parent!

Totally and ridiculously absurd!

Also, it's not "if" she goes to jail - it's "when." We see no way of her getting out of it now! Spend more time with your kid than with reporters!

[Image via WENN.]

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89 comments to “Orange Oprah "Fears" For LiLo's Life In The Slammer!”

  1. 1

    boo fuckin hoo.Sucks when you have to go to jail for committing crimes.

  2. 2

    …OMG…I hope Linds doesn't overdose….that would be great to have a string of Lindsay Lohan Rehab Centres across the Country to help the youth and anyone that needs…imagine the help they would give…

  3. 3

    Mother of the Year

  4. 4

    HAHAHAHA SHE WANTS TO OPEN A REHAB FACILITY!? this is too much. well at least she'll keep supplying the rehab clinic with money…her own.

  5. 5

    yeah sure, "not a violent crime"…..maybe if Lindsay hit and killed someone that idiot would get her mind right………what's absurd is that Dina Lohan has 4 "children" walking about in this world…….

  6. tinta says – reply to this


    Lindsay wants to open her own rehab facility??? LOL!

  7. 7


  8. 8

    Oh, she's going to jail. Why would any judge overturn that? Rehab is the place the courts don't have any business sending her.

  9. 9

    prescription speed and prescription herione does not sober make!!!!!!!!!! give us all a break!

  10. 10

    Go and hide somewhere.

  11. 11

    So she "fears for her life" now???? Isn't it a bit late? She should have been afraid the past 10 years while her daughter has been going down hill doing all kinds of drugs and who knows what else…fucking moron.

  12. 12

    Why does anyone even care at all about Lindsay?

  13. 13

    please just go to jail already…and ali doesnt even go to school so who are you to say she is in school with mean girls.. wow..leave merrick now

  14. 14

    "Ali is in school with these girls being mean to her because of this situation. It’s not easy being us."
    No one's in school in the middle of July and I thought her 45 yr old teenager was homeschooled???
    How does one perfect the act of speaking out of both sides of your mouth?
    Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

  15. 15

    no one in europe knew lindsey before the slammer

  16. 16

    Re: Tube Steak – LMAO Help them score meth, help them get out of court mandated classes…it's endless

  17. 17

    BULLLLSHIT! Lindsay is so lucky she didn't kill anyone when she was driving out of her mind. Dina Lohan is so sad. Lindsay deserves jail for what she did she is a potential murderer.

  18. 18

    "Lindsay actually wants to open up her own rehab center here [in LA] and a couple across the country…"

    I bet the Rehab that Lindsay wants to open will have a slammin' Lesbian DJ, pretty lights, a red carpet as well as unlimited spray tanning!

  19. 19

    Im sure Dina cares what a despicable almost human being like Mario has to say. What ya think Underage Up-skirt Boy??

  20. 20

    They should throw her in jail too just for giving birth to such a mess

  21. 21

    Try acting and dressing your age plus getting off your own pill stash then maybe you can become a parental voice of reason not an imature friend to a kid you messed up in the first place.

  22. 22

    "Lindsay wants to open up her own rehab center" How about she gets her daughter some help NOW before opening up centers for others!!! omg lol lol lol lol lol lol WHAT A MORONIC MOTHER no wonder Lindsay has all these problems I'd be on drugs too if I had a stupid, insipid , shallow, livingoff her daughter fame seeking no talent mother. When are mothers like her going to learn that they need to be a PARENT not their teen aged daughters 'best friend" and dress like them party with them puhleeeeese you reap what you sow! In my opinion I think it's too late for both of them.

  23. 23

    This woman has a rodent-like face. And the brains of a bag of cement.

  24. 24

    Do these people have any idea how RIDICULOUS we all think they are???

  25. 25

    “What is she the most scared of about jail? She is claustrophobic, so she’s in fear of that.”
    Apparently Lindsay is not too claustrophobic when it comes to flying overseas in enclosed planes to do charity or party. Let’s not confuse claustrophobia for not wanting to be locked-up in a small cell, which is everyone’s fear, but that’s why it’s jail. You know, to deter you from wanting to go back.

  26. 26

    She's claustrophobic, too? Geez - she will claim any condition (for lack of better words) to try to get her way and appear to need sympathy. And setting up rehab centers? Anyone remember the sayings "Inmates running the asylum", "Rooster in the hen house"? Oy.

  27. 27

    What a joke! Her own rehab facility?!?!? LOL I can't stop laughing about that one.. Dina definately wins "worst mother of the decade" award!!! LOL But at least with all these messsssssed up Lohans we constantly have things to talk about ;o) Go ahead, Lindsay, DO MORE DRUGS (and deny it) LOL we need to entertainment…. ;o)

  28. Jayla says – reply to this


    Oh god now Lindsay is saying she is going to open up her own Rehab center just like Paris said she was going to make a safe house for lynwood inmates.

    Guess great minds think alike.

  29. 29

    I dont get why they are in such denial!! She did something wrong and now she must go to jail. She could have avoided it by OBEYING probation terms. She didnt and thats her own fault.

  30. 30

    very well said perez its sooo true"!!! lindsay mayb be talented but if shes NOT cut out for it then she should leave it!!!. Talented oir not if you cant hack it then get out.Although hollywood is to blame too for probally giving in to her every whim and telling ehr how great she is all the time.

  31. 31

    Where the hell was douche bag Dina when her 15 yr old daughter was out trolling the LA nightclub scene???? Don't blame the world for your inability to raise your nightmare of a child!!!! Lilo…. girl you're a mess!

  32. 32

    I'd say chasing somebody in a car while speeding and under the influence or alcohol and drugs is jail-worthy. Lets not forget it was a total stranger's car she hopped into. It e.ndangered lives - can't they understand?!

    Her non-answer about Lindsay lying about being clean spoke volumes too

  33. 33

    Re: Tube Steak – hahah just think, they could offer classes on how to coordinate your ankle bracelet with your hooker attire :)

  34. 34

    Ali goes to school?

  35. 35

    Bitch PLEASE. Lindsay IS going to jail, she SHOULD go to jail, and all her fame whoring mother should think about is HOLING LINDSAY ACCOUNTABLE for her own actions, and accepting the consequences of those actions. The PAPS did not PUSH HER INTO A CACTUS, STEAL. LIE (those are not my pants the coke is in), and BLAME OTHERS FOR HER TROUBLES (the back guy did it!), shove coke up her nose or liquor down her throat……… blah blah blah blah blah blah…


  36. 36


  37. 37

    What a nasty, old cun*t. If memory serves me correctly, Ali has NOT been in school. She has been jet-setting with her meth-faced, older sister for the past year. That little slut Ali was supposed to be getting "home-schooled" because she was busted blowing boys in the bathroom of her old school. Also, her firecrotched daughter violated her probation MANY times and DOES deserve 90 days. I fucking hate this family of losers.

  38. 38

    best laugh of the WEEK: Lindsay wants to open a rehab center. I'm laughing so hard I just might piss myself.

  39. litzi says – reply to this


    Instead of shopping around for another lawyer, Mother and Daughter should be looking for a psychiatrist…maybe they could get a "combined" hourly rate. The adage "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree" is SO applicable to the Lohans.

  40. 40

    Dina's hoping that Lindsay DOESN'T have to do get hypnotized to quit smoking? I thought a good mom should discourage their kids from smoking! WTF??!!

  41. 41

    how can lindsay be claustrophobic when she is an hoarder????

  42. 42

    Dumbest woman alive. Worst mother ever. Famewhore. Skank. Enabler.

  43. 43

    this woman should be a comedian

  44. 44

    six more wake ups until lindsay is in the slam.

  45. 45

    What a liar for one Ali isnt in school she is in LA partying with her sister all the damn time! Lindsay is going to jail DEAL WITH IT WO!
    She has to be the most delusional mother in the world, the only one who doesnt see her cash cow opps I mean daughter is a druggie!
    Lindsay wants to open up a rehab?? LMFAO that is the funniest thing I have ever heard in my entire life! This bitch is so damn delusional! She needs psychiatric treatment immediately!

  46. 46

    Oh please, one word ENABLER. The last time I checked (and I am a victim of this as well) DUI's are a serious crime. A drunk driver killed my sister. In fact the judge wasn't harsh enough with her punishment, all she has received is special treatment because of her "celebrity" status. I hope she rots in jail and I hope it does make her go "crazy" because maybe she will have time to think about what she did and how the outcome could have been way worse. She could have killed herself or someone totally innocent. I don't buy any of the toxic words that come out of her mouth or her mothers.

  47. 47

    ..IT WASNT A VIOLENT CRIME R U RETARTED LADY…She drove at high speeds and wreckless COKED out of her mind and drunk , she would of killed many many people , and held people hostage in the car……chaseing her assistants mother for reasons we still don know…yea she wasnt dangerous or violent…noooo, this lady is in serious denial

  48. 48

    "Jail doesn’t help anyone no matter what problem you have — unless you’re a rapist or a murderer."
    I do however feel sorry for her brother and sister for being related to her. Sad that they have to be involved.

  49. 49

    I don't have hate for Lohan but PUH-LEEEEASE!!

    You're not even going to be around any of the other inmates and the guards are going to be so protective over you that you will have nothing to fear. The only thing is that you're going to be bored to tears in there.

  50. 50

    Re: April 20th – My thoughts exactly, How was this not violent? She was trying to run someone down while driving under the influence. Can't this be classified as Attempted Vehicular Man Slaughter? That kinda sounds violent to me!!! 90 Days in jail is deserved here!

  51. 51

    Dina was fingering her butthole during the interview!

  52. 52

    raspy cooont !

  53. 53

    "you miss a DUI class and have to go to jail for three months — that’s absurd." "A" class, no I believe it was 9.

  54. 54

    Hypnotized?? Are you shitting me?? Shes a damn smoker!! What kinda idiot is so pathetic she cant go 90 days without smoking?? It's not going to kill her. If stopping cold turkey killed people you would see humans dropping like flies on a daily basis. Every part of this family is bullshit. These are the types of people who of themselves as the center of the universe. Like she's the only on to go to jail. That her life is connected to her smoking. Next thing we will hear is how she will have to be strapped down for her own safety when they take out her extensions cause she "cant live without them". Can we send her mother to jail with her. How bout that? Lindsay can have company and the world gets a break from Dina. Its a win win to me.
    That and can they make "Jail Lohan" tshirts?? I would normally never buy such shit but after all the crap coming out of their mouths lately, I would so wear it.

  55. 55

    Her Mom is clueless. It's not about missing a class. She drove under the influence of alcohol and cocaine - twice; put the rest of us in danger - twice; lied about it - more than twice; etc.

  56. 56

    She should of thought about things before her daughter messed up!

  57. 57

    She creeps me out, like in a really bad way…..

  58. 58

    when will lindsays new rehab open now that she is sober?

  59. 59

    Fudgy the Whale is here to save the day!

  60. 60

    Oh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuug her!!!! She fears for her life!!, well WHAT ABOUT WHEN SHE WAS DOING FREAKIN` COCAINE AND EVERY DRUG IN THE BOOK?? DOes she think that is safer than prison?

  61. 61

    Throw the orange bitch in, too. She's just making this harder on Lindsay. People in jail actually watch television, you stupid fucking whore. Way to insult them right before your daughter goes in.

    Or, maybe get a fuckin' clue and see that some people in jail are just like you and me, they've just made some bad decisions. Fuck you, bitch.

  62. 62

    "She's not going to be in that situation."? Yeah, Dina, because you're the law and you decide what's what. Shut the fuck up, you vile woman. She'd rather look the other way and get her "cut" than care and help her daughter who's in a fucking mess. I wish the media would acknowledge how fucked up she is and refuse to do interviews with her. Ignoring her would be the best punishment. Honestly, if I had a mother like Dina, I'd kick her in a ditch and never look back.

  63. 63

    they should lock her up too! just for being a dumbass!

  64. 64

    She has her mom to thank for getting her ice cream card revoked! LOL

  65. 65


  66. 66

    I think making the taxpayers pay for another rehab is stupid. She should have been given 3 counts of 120 days each. No probation, no rehab just jail time. Just like Paris Hilton she should have been denied early release for any reason. That would have gotten her 6 months of jail time and if she needs rehab let her pay for it herself. Make her clean up her own act not the probation department and if she doesen't then good luck the next time your in front of a judge with your record.

  67. 67

    News Flash! If you are taking opiates and stimulants you are not sober.

  68. 68

    I thought Ali was home-schooled. Is it her brothers being mean and making fun of her??? Good one.

  69. 69

    When I first read this I laughed hysterically - especially about the rehab centers. But then the more I thought about it, it is clear from this (and other evidence) that these people are truly delusional. It's not just trying to set the record straight. They actually live a parallel universe not connected to reality. She's sober but takes at least 2 prescription drugs regularly including an amphetamine. She's claustrophobic but goes to the most crowded bars and clubs in all of the world. She can stop smoking for 90 days by going to a hypnotist, but hasn't quit until forced to jail. What is wrong with these people? THEY ARE CERTIFIABLE.

  70. 70

    Re: Mossimo.ita – Genius! well said..

  71. 71

    when she loses her extensions, she'll claim "separation anxiety" lol…stop giving excuses n go to jail already!!

  72. 72

    I'm guessing she (Dina) doesn't hear how CRAZY she sounds talking about Lindsay's plan to open up rehab centers across the country…. at this time at least!! but who knows maybe she will.. and maybe she will help tons of people. BUT she needs to BE AN EXAMPLE FIRST!!!!!!!!! a walking, talking example of recovery and sobriety… otherwise people aren't going to listen to her much.

  73. 73

    OMG, it's not easy being us???? How about people who are working for minimum wage, losing jobs, losing homes and, oh, btw, NOT doing drugs or alcohol? So incredibly stupid, insensitive, self-absorbed and stupid!!! i don't think as a mom I have ever been that much in denial! No wonder her daughter is having problems! Get a grip!

  74. 74

    By "growing up" does she mean the F*CK U painted on her middle finger, which she kept flashing the judge and the cameras?

  75. 75

    Thought just came to me… So, where is Dakota Fanning's Mom? Why is Mrs. Fanning not famous? Oh wait… They might be normal? Dina is such a waste of life.

  76. 76

    How can she think that DUI is not a serious offense innocent people die because of people like Lindsay Lohan and now she is finally going to understand that there are consequences to your actions. It's about time and parents who enable are just as bad, one persons life is NOT more valuable then another … get over it!!!

  77. 77

    No one wants to hurt Lindsey. I doubt that. And she will not be in the general population anyway!

  78. 78

    Oh fuck you Dina. Do you really thing the general public is as stupid and in denile as you?

    You're the reason you're daughter is such a mess. You fucking enabler. She should be barred from seeing Lindsay when she gets out of jail and rehab. Poisonous woman

  79. 79

    how come she has so much freckles? what an stupid whore

  80. 80

    When she overdoes, Dina is going to screaming over her dead child, and blaming Michael for Lindsay's demise.

  81. 81

    Re: redmond – Tired for first with Kate Gosselin.

  82. 82

    Re: Lucyinthesky91

    I'm sorry to hear about your sister xx

  83. @v@ says – reply to this


    It's not three months for 'missing a DUI' class. The weekly classes were the probationary break the court gave her in liu of throwing her drinking, drugging and crazy driving lying ass into the slammer. She chose not to take that break, so the jail time is merely going back to option number one.

  84. 84

    I find this family to be completely ridiculous. If normal everyday person did what Lindsay has done they would be going to jail. Just because you're a Celebrity doesn't mean you should get off easily. July 20th = Jail for Lindsay. Perhaps now she will realize that she needs to clean up her act!

  85. 85

    Oh for shit's sake! It's not like she's going to be in the 'yard' with the general population! Just go do your time Lindsay.

  86. 86

    oh my gosh i almost peed my pants when she said Lindsey wants to open up a rehab clinic!!!!!!! I'm sure they'll have a rockin bar scene!

  87. 87

    Come on . You guys are so harsh . What need is there to bash Lindsay's Sister .
    Ali has done nothing to deserve this . And come on guys Dina is her Mother .
    Its a shame if your own Mother does not speak up or stick up for you .
    Give this family a break . What on earth makes you think its ok to say such things about Lindsay or her family . So not cool . Does it really make you all feel better to bash others ?

  88. 88

    I hope the new "Fish" gets the Linda Blair broom handle welcome, LOLZ!!!!!!

  89. 89

    im fucking sick to death of hearing about this family. i used to be a fan of Lindsay back in the Mean Girls days. now i hate even looking at her, she needs to grow up and just GO TO JAIL. it will do her good. although she reminds me of my ex who was a alco and drug addict, they will never be helped, she will jsut start doing it again when she is released, i GUARNTEE it!