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Denis Leary & The Bear: A Cautionary Tale

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Sure, Denis Leary can take on life-threatening fires, but can he take on bears? The answer is no.

According to the man himself, Leary ignored wildlife warnings posted around his home in Connecticut, and the results were terrifying:

"5:30 on a Sunday morning about a month ago…I get up, (get a) hot cup of coffee, go outside, have a cigarette…I'm in my underwear, not a bright thing to do either. And like that, a bear pops up in the driveway out of the woods…It's a huge black bear…He's right in front of me."

And that’s not all Leary had to say on the subject:

"The first thing they say (is) make yourself big. Me in my underwear, I look like an even bigger toothpick…Bears will eat you because their cubs are nearby but they will also eat you if you're just an annoying guy…All of a sudden the bear looks at us and he just ambles off. I felt like I was a tall cow and I froze up."

The moral of the story is this:

Don’t ask Denis Leary about his bear encounters, unless you’re prepared to face the catastrophic consequence of having an image of Leary in his underwear etched into your poor brain forever.

[Images via WENN.]

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10 comments to “Denis Leary & The Bear: A Cautionary Tale”



  1. 1

    Actually this story is proof that bears do NOT eat "annoying guys." Leary would have been toast if that was the case.



  2. 2

    How is simply walking outside your house ignoring posted wildlife warnings?



  3. 3

    It was the spirit of Bill Hicks returning for vengeance, but then Bill took the shamanic high road and let him live. Note the cigarette.



  4. 4

    Funny ! Dennis is and always will be a funny guy!
    and no bear don't eat people on a regular basis



  5. 5

    LOL!



  6. 6

    the bear would have spit the douchebag out anyway. even bears have their standards.



  7. 7

    I



  8. 8

    good thing I didnt pay to see him in person because that joke was stupid.



  9. 9

    Denis sure had some angels watching over him that day. He's very lucky to be alive, instead of literally being torn apart. Wow!



  10. 10

    I should think that the sight of Denis Leary in his underwear would be more than enough to scare the shit out of the bear. As much as I love Leary and his comedy routines, seeing him in his undies would NOT be a turn-on for me.