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New Fish LOLhan Is Keepin' Busy In Prison…With Twizzlers!

| Filed under: Lindsay Lohan


Incarceration wouldn't be as pleasant without some Twizzlers!

Shawn Chapman Holley, Lindsay Lohan's lawyer, updated sources on her client after a visit with her yesterday. Miz Holley assured everyone that Lindsanity was feeling "good," using her time wisely and snacking on Twizzlers.

Huh, wonder if she bites off both ends to use as a straw? You know, for when she drinks her morning juice…not for when she snorts cocaine. Because she isn't allowed cocaine in prison, remember? That wasn't on the list. She's allowed her Adderall, Ambien, acid reflux pills, horse tranquilizers and Flintstone vitamins, but not cocaine! No siree!

As for what else LOLhan is up to behind bars, Miz Holley says:

"She looks gorgeous. … She's writing a lot. She's creating art. She's a beautiful, talented, creative woman, and she's going to come out and surprise you all!"

Excuse us, but did you say WRITING??? As in, putting her own insane thoughts down on the page?!

Oh. Em Gee. We think we smell a book of poems on the way!

Oh goody, goody! We can't wait to read them!

P.S. - No one looks "gorgeous" or "beautiful" under the harsh fluorescent bulbs of prison. Quit lying!

[Image via WENN.]

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22 comments to “New Fish LOLhan Is Keepin' Busy In Prison…With Twizzlers!”

  1. 1

    Perez is semi right…first of all she is in JAIL not prison but yea…no one looks gorgeous there…ever

  2. 2

    "she looks so gorgeous!" MY ASS, even when shes dressed up she looks fugly! Using those twizzlers to snort up her adderall probably if not her xanex.

  3. 3

    you know what…i have no doubt shes looking alot better…shes finally getting some sleep…no booze going into her body. odds are she is looking gorgeous these days.

  4. 4

    Perez,stfu and leave this girl alone! You have a lot of nerve putting anyone's looks,when you look like a horse's ass!
    Lindsay has more talent in her little finger than you have in your ENTIRE pukey body! I hope she comes out of jail,goes on to rehab and kicks the living shit outta you! She will prove you and all the other assholes on here,that put her down,wrong! Now f o and go away!

  5. 5

    does anybody else think Perez is on drugs??? one moment he is sympathetic with Lohan saying 'get better bb', 'she needs help' etc… then he is trashing her!! For someone who goes on and on about being anti hate and all that crap he is one of the most judgmental people out there spewing his word vomit for the world to read.

    Perez is just not a nice person and he has proved this time and time again.

  6. 6

    I hope she does come out better for it that way we can all laugh as Mario kisses her ass

  7. 7

    Who the hell wrote that? Someone new doing your writing fatass? Their style is nowhere near yours or your sisters. Sadly, it's worse.

  8. 8

    Lindsay is not gorgeous. the most she ever was, was cute in mean girls. Now she messed up her face and she looks 20 years older than she is. You can go to any bus stop in L.A. and find a better looking girl….who is probably a better "actress"

  9. 9

    Perez, What happened to your "concerned " video in which you advised Lindsay to …use her time in prison wisely. You are so pathetic and what a hypocrite. As for ridiculing Lindsay Lohan writing. Have you read this rag of yours…frighteningly illiterate.

    p.s. It is possible to look good in "bad lighting"…especially if someone is making the best of a bad situation. Accessing inner strength can give you a "glow". Since you are ugly inside and out you probably don't know about that.

  10. 10

    That's what I'd be doing - writing and reading and if they allow art, then art too, yes, yes! Sounds like a holiday to me cause with 2 kids I barely get time to do any of that!!

  11. 11

    "Oh Em Gee"? Are you an 11 year old girl? Jesus Christ.

  12. 12

    Please do not insult poets with whatever this illiterate twit writes.

  13. 13

    hahaha your comments are hilarious! Get your own daytime talk show!!

  14. 14

    Perez Lindsay would look "Gorgeous" anywhere you are so Jealous . Your comments are so nasty . Oh and Pleaseeeeee look at the "Insane" thoughts you put down dont you have nerve . Almost out Lindsay ! You can do it you have the talent and the looks .
    Everyone messes up Lindsay come out of there and kick some azz .
    we sane ones support you !

  15. 15

    I dont see how this report can be negative at all? for once she is not reported as whing and crying shes actually doing something good even if she does wrote and read thats a good thing and not to be looked down upon. she must be able to do something right.

  16. ash,* says – reply to this


    this post was very lame. bad writing, puns that weren't funny and harsh, unneccessary attacks. i hate myself for coming to this website.

  17. Jayla says – reply to this


    Wow she goes to jail for 2 weeks tops and she is freakin Mozart??????

    SCH tell your lies somewhere else.

  18. 18

    It has been so nice the past few weeks NOT having to hear about this stale cun*t's nighttime antics. I wish she would stay in jail forever and get shanked while she's there.

  19. 19

    Perez STOP hating on Lindsay, she has talent you dont get over it.

  20. 20

    I really hope she does get out and surprise us all! SHE SHOULD!!! That's what she should have done over a year ago, when all this tabloid shit started but nooooooooooo!!!!!!! She had to go and feed into it! Get better Lindsay, WASTED TALENT is the worst!!!!!!!!!

  21. 21

    "P.S. - No one looks "gorgeous" or "beautiful" under the harsh fluorescent bulbs of prison. Quit lying!" lol so true. It's like trying to look good at McDonalds. Horrendous lighting - not advised if you are trying to impress someone.

  22. 22

    She will be dead in 3 years or less. She will overdose.