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Put In Your Orders Now, Twilighters!

| Filed under: Silly!Twilight

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Looking for something creepy to get the Twilight lover in your life? Look no further than these new Eclipse action figures!

Several characters are available for your Twilight delight. Sashay the night away with Edward and his posable, masculine pointed toe. (Tutu and glitter edition sold separately). You can get Bella, with a perfectly sculpted scowl, slouch and receding hairline. New to the collection this series is the Rosalie figure. This particular model was consulted on by one of Michael Jackson's plastic surgeons. Notice the similar jaw line and disproportionate nose.

But what you'll really want to do is order the perfection that is the Jacob Black doll in bulk. Sure his face looks like Mr. Magoo, but you can't pass on abs like that.

We'll take 2 crates please.

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46 comments to “Put In Your Orders Now, Twilighters!”



  1. 1

    LAME

  2. pootz says – reply to this


    2

    Did Hillary Swank play Bella and I don't remember it?



  3. 3

    LOL WTF!! As much as I love Twilight and everything related, these look… weird? Bella looks freaking creepy as hell. And why is Edward's posture weird as well…. Agh.



  4. 4

    omg they look so creepy!! specially bella! wtf?! but probably looks better than kisten



  5. 5

    is that suppose to be rose? cause it looks like a man



  6. 6

    Re: pootz – you're totally right! lol



  7. 7

    Is this Perez's pathetic attempt at being humorous?



  8. 8

    Creepy. I'll bet you try to hump the Jacob doll piggy



  9. 9

    I wonder how big they made Taylor's big cut dck?



  10. 10

    The Bella doll kinda looks like Missy Peregrym more then Kristen! But then again, they do look alike ay?!…… anyways, LOVE YOUR WORK PEREZ! Keep it coming! Lots of luv from Down Under, mate!!!! xoxox



  11. 11

    Stephanie Meyer should be burned at the stake.
    She has singlehandedly ruined vampires and vampire movies.
    Twinkling vampires? WTF?



  12. 12

    Well of course the stupid were-wolf doesn't have a shirt on, typical! And seriously, who made these? They are butt ugly and are going to give me nightmares tonight. *sighs* it was also only a matter of time before this crap came out, i'm amazed it hasn't happened sooner.



  13. 13

    STFU Perez and leave Michael Jackson out of this. These hideous dolls have nothing to do with him!



  14. 14

    Oooooh, gimme one of the life-sized jacob's. LOL. Real or fake, I wouldn't care. As long as it has a mouth hole and an ass hole. Yes I'm pervy, YAY ME! lol



  15. 15

    Perez could you be anymore of a butthole? and for your info., Michael's only surgeries were done to his nose (which was his buisness and right.)

  16. ddd87 says – reply to this


    16

    haha you wish thats what a receding hairline looked like!



  17. 17

    Oh…em…geee! These are so….UGLY! Just like they people who play them in real life!

    Especially Kristen and Rob



  18. 18

    Oh, you got jokes, Perez? Funny guy. *sarcasm*

    You should spend more time loving not hating. Leave MJ alone! >=[



  19. 19

    This is really old news. These Mattell dolls have been out for months now. They didn't sell and are on the clearance rack at all the Wal-marts at 75% off right now.



  20. 20

    That blond looks like a drag



  21. 21

    Hahaha that looks exactly like Rosalie. The rest of them look strange though. Especially Bella.



  22. 22

    Do a Michael Sheen one and then we'll talk



  23. 23

    LMAO awesome product descriptions



  24. 24

    hell…its too much toooo much…:/:/



  25. 25

    HEY PEREZ, YOU WANT THE KIND THAT IS OVERSIZED AND VIBRATES TO SHOVE UP YOUR POOP SHOOT WHILE YOU MOAN PATTINSON'S NAME



  26. 26

    Re: MJ fan59 – Michael's surgeries were only done to his nose????? Are you fucking blind? He had more plastic parts than these stupid dolls.



  27. 27

    Re: MJ fan59 – Yeah MJ fan59 of course Michael only had plastic surgery to his nose. Only one time too, I'm sure. Mmm hmmm. His lips just naturally slimmed down and his jawline just naturally got way larger and squared off with an odd looking dimple, should I continue ?



  28. 28

    I like that Gay Ken Doll in the lower right-hand corner….so real !



  29. 29

    75% off at Wal*Crap … ? I gonna buy me a whole trunk-load ! 'Specially that Gay one !



  30. 30

    Well I found this post pretty funny. Good one Perez!



  31. 31

    the rosalie figure looks like the character and so does the jacob figure…but the edward and bella figures dont look like the characters…but peretzel, i bet u already pre-ordered urs! dont lie, we know ur the biggest fan out there…lol



  32. 32

    Are you sure these aren't models for use on a Robot Chicken skit? ;)



  33. 33

    2 crates of the jacob dolls lmao! you're more obsessive with team jacob than all the twilight fans put together. I bet you have a zac/bieber and jacob shrine in your bedroom.



  34. 34

    typical, sad attempt at a joke and to disrespect michael jackson even when hes dead.these have nothing to do with him. jesus christ its his business not yours



  35. 35

    Lycanthropes wear cargo pants? I thought they went about naked. Keep that in mind, Taylor Lautner.



  36. 36

    Re: kelseymh – Michael Jackson achieved a level of iconic stardom that only The Beatles and Elvis can compare to (in fact, MJ was a true global superstar, unlike TB or EP, who were big mostly in anglo cultures). So, as an icon, his name will be used for better and for worse.



  37. 37

    Re: action – Those aren't the Mattel dolls.

  38. Rynne says – reply to this


    38

    That looks nothing like Bella — why is it a redhead???



  39. 39

    Re: Secret Message – It's called a cleft and yes he had that done but that is it. Michael's face never changed and if you find it all that necessary you can compare pictures of his face and easilly see that. His lips didn't thin out either and his jaw line, cheeks, eyes, and ears stayed the same and no I'm not blind "Canukian" I happen to be looking at his Ebony magazine cover from 2007 and the shape of his face looks the same as a picture from the 80's on a calender that I have hanging up right beside it. Why are you all so obsessed with HIS face anyway?



  40. 40

    Not surprised. I actually thought these things would be out last year!



  41. 41

    Does anybody else think it's funny they made Edward's waist narrower than Bella's?



  42. 42

    gay.



  43. 43

    that doll doesnt look like bella… that doll is way hot



  44. 44

    like the guy said below, leave michael out of this! i thought you learned from the day of his death when you were so fucking disrespectful about it & there was such an uproar that you had to apologize. LEAVE THE DEAD TO REST. god.



  45. 45

    These dolls are about as hideous and disgusting as the movies they were inspired by! The Bella doll looks like a crank ho and the Edward doll is disproportionate!



  46. 46

    Re: MJ fan59 – thank you. i was gonna say something similar. people are just so damn ignorant, not looking into things before they go around talking shit