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Snooki Snickers Is Too Pretty To Go To Jail!

| Filed under: Legal MattersSnookiReality TV

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Aww Snooks!

It's okay, bb! What's important is that you learned from your mistake!

Our most beloved guidette on the Jersey Shore is opening up about her public intoxication arrest, and explains that unlike a certain delusional hard-pAArtying wacktress who don't learn from their mistakes, she will not be going behind bars again anytime soon!

She explains:

"I don't know why people are taking it so seriously. I had a couple cocktails and they just put me in a drunk tank to sober me up. I was on the beach. It happens to the best of us, and I'm not planning on going back to jail ever again. I was a public nuisance — big deal! I'm too pretty to be in jail. I'm a good person. I'm not a criminal, and I will never go back there. You can't even contain me. When I was in there, I was like, 'Can I come out? I can't breathe!' Not a fun place. I will never go back."

Smart thinking, bb! And we agree - your elegance would go completely unappreciated in prison!

It's best you stay away!

[Image via Pacific Coast News Online.]

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23 comments to “Snooki Snickers Is Too Pretty To Go To Jail!”



  1. 1

    Luv that pic, she looks like a 40 year old crack whore !



  2. 2

    LOLs Perez you and your writers are SO bipolar it is comical!



  3. 3

    Too pretty? Ha! Hardly.



  4. 4

    ugh!!
    someone shoot this chick metaphorically and put her out of the public eye



  5. 5

    Do you think she REALLY thinks she's pretty? Or do you think she's just saying how fly she is all the time because she knows she's a fat gross troll and maybe people will start to believe it or think it's cool that she's that fug but has a shit ton of confidence? I don't get it. She is most definetly one of *THE* ugliest things I've ever seen. And I mean that. And not only that but she is so trashy and obnoxious. It's just gross.



  6. 6

    Next time, they will put the cow in a holding pen for runaway livestock.



  7. 7

    too pretty for jail? how much crack did she smoke before making that statement?



  8. 8

    You fight some cops, lady — you go to jail. You might have been able to use some kind of argument like this if you had not gotten physical, but YOU DID. Say hello to your new number!



  9. 9

    it happens to the best of us? clearly someone is delusional. she needs to go.. now.



  10. 10

    If she's pretty then I must be a fucking supermodel!!!



  11. 11

    Is she considered pretty? In my high school she would, because people lack taste and decency.



  12. 12

    "Too pretty" to be in jail? Are you fucking kidding me? I've BEEN there (not that I'm proud) but TRUST ME, WAAAYYYY PRETTIER than this twit were there in maximum lockup…… And with this bitch's drinking & obvious love of partying, she'll be back; no doubt!



  13. 13

    What do you people expect from a guy who gets it in the ass??? This midget is gross, I wouldn't fuck her with your needle dick Perez!!!



  14. 14

    "too pretty" for jail? Who is this woman/wilderbeast think she is kidding? You need to stop publicizing this untalented wookie.



  15. 15

    No it does not happen to the "best" of us asswipe.

    It happens to drunk skanks with no morals and psychiatric derangement.

    Believe me….you'll be having an extended stay next time.



  16. 16

    She is such an ugly little troll with cancer waiting to happen. The girls on the show are bitches, Sammi is sort of pretty, but her personality overrides that.



  17. 17

    People are only taking it seriously because they care. Her friends maybe could have prevented that by taking her home when she was so drunk. It's ok, Snooks. Just so you learn from it.



  18. 18

    lol aww she is not pretty

  19. kcarr says – reply to this


    19

    "…your elegance would go completely unappreciated in prison!"???? WHAT-FUCKIN-EVEEEEER! This girl in no way, shape or form presents elegance! Come on Perez! you can do better than this!



  20. 20

    I hope she has learned her lesson BUT going to jail is a big deal and the fact that she is downplaying it and saying it's not a big deal is very telling.



  21. 21

    She's an idiot.



  22. 22

    too pretty??? she's fucking ugly and fat and whore… c'mon Perez!!!



  23. 23

    Being too pretty dosent matter.
    If you break the law .
    You do the time.
    And you can learn your lesson (I hope).