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Because Who Doesn't Love Deep-Fried Processed Cheese?

| Filed under: Icky Icky PooWacky, Tacky & TrueSilly!


Imagine you are at home. You're lamenting over the fact that the KFC Double-Down was discontinued after several people died of heart failure and that the Candwhich never made it to shelves because of the lead poisoning that was bound to infect pre-schoolers.

After thinking about this, you realize that the only thing to settle your soul and stomach is the grossest, most processed sandwich imaginable. You find yourself pacing the streets, endlessly searching for something to satisfy the hunger. Just when you begin to realize your starvation may just be an after effect of the giant bong hit you had before you left the house, you see a beacon of hope in the distance. It's Denny's and they have just the thing for you:

The new Fried Cheese Melt!

Yes, the name says it all! It's two pieces of sourdough bread stuffed with mozzarella sticks, which have been fried and covered with more cheese. Then, just to give it that extra crunch, the whole sandwich is dipped into the fry-o-later again and served on a bread of nutritious fries.


Okay, all kidding aside, there is not one redeemable thing about this sandwich, if you can even call it that. We think it's more like an abomination smothered in cheese. We imagine there is enough grease and oil that runs off that thing to put BP to shame!

We implore you, if you love your intestines, arteries and bowels at all, you will steer clear of their culinary nuclear weapon!


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54 comments to “Because Who Doesn't Love Deep-Fried Processed Cheese?”

  1. 1

    I'll be trying this.

  2. 2

    No thanks!! That is a walking time bomb.

  3. 3

    I've been making those at home for 20 years now. Can't wait to try Denny's.

  4. 4

    Actually sounds kind of yummy…. hmmm…. cheesy goodness:)

  5. 5

    wowwzers that is just BAD i love dennys but CMON lol but seriously this is NOT AS BAD AS CANDWICH! lol i think out of the three ppl will b more likely to have this but idk it makes me gassy just looking at it i feel like ive got the runs… still havent tried the double down i mean cmon now lol no bread too much fake chicken!LOL

  6. 6

    What a hippo-crite Mario - you have advertisement for donuts on your website. I laugh at how ridiculous you have gotten. Y

  7. 7

    OMG where do I get one?! It's like a revamped version of the grilled cheese sandwich but better! Yum.

  8. 8


  9. kcarr says – reply to this


    eating ONE of these ONCE in a blue moon couldn't possibly hurt all THAt much XD

  10. 10

    you can almost hear Oprah dialing Denny's takeout number now

  11. 11

    Its just a grilled cheese… a really, really cheesy grilled cheese!

  12. 12

    two years ago you woudl have been all about this sandwich PNasty! C'mon

  13. 13

    that is disgusting, no wonder there is such an obesity problem in the US.

  14. 14

    on a BED of fries.

  15. 15

    For some odd reason, it reminds me of the knuckle sandwich you got up in Toronto, pig-vomit.

  16. 16

    Re: Phibes – LMAO

  17. 17

    Jeeeez, you Americans eat so much crap!! And you wonder why you get so fat?

  18. 18

    Why is American cheese bright yellow. Is it even real? Normal cheese isn't yellow lol

  19. 19

    I can't find any information about the Double Down actually killing people. Is this for real? If so… sources please? I'm intrigued.

  20. 20

    holy jesus on bread!!

  21. 21

    I think it would be good if you didn't fry the bread. if you toasted it I think it would be better

  22. 22

    WHOA! 895 calories of chedda~!

  23. 23

    ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm the double down hasn't been discontinued…i know. gross. it really should be. but go to kfc.com…it's there.

  24. 24


  25. 25

    Yum, sounds delicious and stop telling us what to eat bitch, I am skinny and can eat this, its the people that eat it 7 days a week that have the problem.

  26. 26

    It actually looks tasty…

  27. 7tizz says – reply to this


    I'm pretty sure back in Perez fat days he'd be scarfing down 2+ a sitting. Man, there is nothing worse or annoying than a former smoker or carb eater that has 'seen the light' and blabs about it all the time. These people are the highest at risk to binge again too. Can you be more textbook Perez? lol

  28. 7tizz says – reply to this


    Re: Agent 365 – Pretty sure there is none and it was Perez's attempt at humor.

  29. 29

    Re: Quemical – Tx Q, good to see you.

  30. 30

    i will like to eat it at least one time.

  31. 31

    Well being as cheese is pretty much the best thing on the entire planet, I will not be able to not try this. Just once though, because I really don't want to gain a million lbs. Holy yumness… Want now..

  32. 32

    NOTHING redeemable? You know that cheese counts as a dairy product, yeah?

  33. cdv says – reply to this


    Re: JETsucks
    You expect accuracy? This wouldn't be PerezHilton w/out bad facts and bad spelling. But which is it ya think- can't spell bed or actually thinks bread of fries makes sense?

  34. 34

    "on a bread of nutritious fries" says the man that insults "SHCOOL"

  35. 35

    i just puked in my mouth from that pic. and only you would write that much about a flippin grilled cheese. disgusting.

  36. 36

    Relax there aren't any more. Homer Simpson has eaten them all.

  37. 37

    It would be better if it had hot dog slices in it.

  38. 38

    Ugh, that's gotta be close to being as bad as the KFC sandwhich. This is just too much!

  39. 39

    at first though i vomited a little, than i imagined it would be really good with bacon and ranch

  40. 40

    and this is coming from someone who's unhealthy and fat.

  41. 41

    I'm actually looking forward to this.

  42. 42

    Learn to eat food! Cheese should be 100% dairy… that is not real cheese. I know this will just fall on deaf ears but honestly… no, I dont know what to say.. its sad to read some of these comments..

  43. @v@ says – reply to this


    My local Denny's had the nerve to dump their Reuben sandwich (which I ended many a late night with) from their menu, so I guess I'd be forced to try this one.

  44. 44

    maybe because your afraid of gaining weight because your so "hollywood" but in the real world people can be skinny and have food like this once in awhile ;)

  45. 45

    Actually the double down had less calories and fat than a whopper with cheese AND the Big Mac. I know it looked horrible but in all reality it wasn't as bad for you as some things out there. That new sandwich with the cheese sticks, I think I'll pass on that. I'm a total cheese lover too. But I do draw the line. That won't last long. Guaranteed.

  46. 46

    Re: saagua – Don't you mean snooki's eaten them all…

  47. 47

    Re: kellibelli – Ummm, American cheese isn't yellow at all. It's ORANGE!!!! FFS!!!

  48. 48

    Re: Kelbie – That's not real cheese in there you know!!

  49. Jae says – reply to this


    Yum! I want one.

  50. 50

    I much prefer deep-fried twinkies and snickers bars!

  51. @v@ says – reply to this


    Oh, live a little. You know you want it. Go for big hike afterwards.

  52. 52

    Dude, you're a festering puspocket on the ballsack of life.

  53. 53

    listen to ^Kifferslady… the double down isn't nearly as bad as most things at other fast foods places.

    I was at KFC yesterday, it's still there.

    I had one when it came out and it didn't suck. However I don't think I'll be trying this Denny's one… as much as I love cheese… I don't like Mozz sticks.

  54. 54

    OMG ! Only in America !