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John Mayer Blogs About The Maniston!

| Filed under: Jennifer AnistonIcky Icky PooLove LineJohn MayerWhen Celebrities Blog


Oh, here we go…

John Mayer, arguably the douchiest of all of the douchebags, is none to pleased with a recent article that ran about his alleged reconciliation with the MANiston, and feels strongly enough about it to write a self-indulgant rant on the matter!

Huffington Post FULL OF SHIT? (Yes!)

Ahh, Huffington Post, the internet Death Star. The world’s first spectator banking website. Come watch a site’s intelligence move in and out like bellows of accordion depending on whether or not there’s ad dollars to be sucked out of any willing orifice.

From their front page item “BACK TOGETHER?”:

Are John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston back on? Mayer seemed to indicate they might be when he spoke in front of a crowd of 18,000 at his concert on Sunday at the Hollywood Bowl in LA.

“I believe in second chances!” he said. “You might have been a pain in the ass the last time around, but you can still start over again from home base. Next time you get a text from the one you love just text back ‘come over’ - no matter what happened in the past. If you really love someone, just tell them and be with them.”

Huffington Post, this is reporting? How do you pay your writers now, in Silly Bandz? Do you meet your sources in a malt shoppe? This is equal parts fabricated, cobbled together and misleading. Let’s break it down: I don’t think I ever said “I believe in second chances!” but I can’t be 100 percent sure, as it’s possible I could have accidentally said something succinctly and to the point. The next sentence is from the song “Half of My Heart,” in reference to the idea that meeting new people allows for hiding old mistakes. (Well, for most people at least.) The sentence about texting comes from the show’s encore, “Edge of Desire,” in a moment of giving people permission not to beat themselves down for still wanting someone. Two sentences about different things at different points in a concert.

The reason I’m calling you out instead of all the other magazines that make stories up out of thin air is that In Touch and Star Magazine aren’t concurrently writing pieces about Pat Tillman or WikiLeaks. Those other rags know who they are, and even if they’re obnoxious, I’d rather have to live with them because they (and the rest of the world) know where they stand, which doesn’t make them one tenth as dangerous as you are. You’re a stripper wearing reading glasses. Or maybe you’re an insolvent law student willing to dance for a few extra dollars. Either way, it’s uncomfortable to watch you try to wrap yourself around a pole when you have that C-Span scar.

I’m not a politician. I have no celebrity endorsements. So it is with a clear conscience that I’m able to title your piece on this post, should you decide to try make a few more bucks for whatever body wash or slasher flick you’re hocking today.


Can't you just hear the horrific sounds of him jerking himself off as he gloats over what he's written?

GUH. Enough, dumbass!


[Image via WENN.]

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43 comments to “John Mayer Blogs About The Maniston!”

  1. 1

    sometimes he speaks and i cringe but this is actually very good, makes total sense and hes a great writer,i liked it.

  2. 2

    It must be nice being able to order Jennifer Aniston up like a pizza…

  3. 3

    arguably the douchiest of all of the douchebags

    God, Perez, forgot your meds again this morning?
    Doesn't your mother give them to you when you wake up?

  4. 4

    Mr. Mayer,

    Perhaps they printed the misquote because nobody above the age of 16 knows your songs, douche. For someone to catch that some of the supposed quotes were lyrics they'd have to actually listen to your crappy music. I'd rather HuffPo spend time fact checking articles that matter as opposed to articles about you and Maniston.

    The Rest of the World.

  5. 5

    Way to Go John Mayer. Perez has it out for you, but after reading your letter, voicing your opinion, I only wish you could say something in the likes to Perez, seeing as he takes such foolish delight in speaking two facedly about everyone on here. An excellant way to tell someone off. Truth speaks volumes. Congratulations on a great tell off!

  6. 6

    Maybe douche here should check with the publicist he share with Jen. Maybe that's where the story came from. Jen can't seem to deal with the fact that her movie bombing. So many stories are coming from her side. Something tells me the leaks are coming from that area.

  7. 7

    You can call him a douche all you want, but he is 100x more intelligent than you, blogging isn't hard, you just won the retard lottery. He is right, the Huff Post is nothing more than the Drudge Report focused in the opposite direction.

  8. 8

    Yes John Mayer: the Huff Post writing about dumb celebrities is the equivalent of you waxing phylosophical about the absurdities of racism (remember that?)

  9. 9

    Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Yes, Perez, I can totally see him jerking off and gloating over this disgusting piece of crap. You know what John DoucheBag? Plenty of strippers can READ, imagine that! And a few of them are even intelligent! A sexy woman with INTELLIGENCE? You're right, John, how terrifying. He makes me sick. He sucks at singing and he has an ego the size of Precious. Listen to him trying to be clever. I just threw up in my mouth a little.

  10. 10

    I think he's brilliant. And he has a right to be miffed.

  11. 11


  12. 12

    The Silly Bandz comment is classic….

  13. 13

    in order for me to read that I first have to care. Which I don't

  14. 14

    FUCK YOU, pervez, you fat assed, pig faced pile of shit. I sincerely hope you die a slow and painful death at the earliest possible date.

  15. 15

    @emily caldwell - The stripper reference is a metaphor, which was clearly lost on you. How was this a disgusting piece of crap again? He's taking a supposedly legitimate news sources to task for shady and tabloid-like reporting and that is somehow distasteful?

  16. 16

    I wish he would just go away….I CAN NOT STAND HIM…….ewh…

  17. 17

    talk about "self-indulgant rants…" this website is devoted to your daily self-indulgant, misogynist, hypocritical rants

  18. 18

    This actually made me like him.

  19. 19

    I think he was doing a service to those who read the HuffPo, considering he mentions that they also write articles about current events and real news. If they are this haphazard about confirming the merit of articles than why I are we to trust them with the validity of their other articles? If he was a fame whoring douche bag as you say Perez he'd be commenting and lamenting over every magazine he's in, not just the ones who also contain materials about real world issues.

  20. 20

    Mayer's definitely got a point. The Huffington Post is not exactly UsMagazine, I expect more from HuffPo.

  21. 21

    He has every right to stand up to the people who make up crap about him. It's about time someone calls them out. I'm sure there are a lot of other celebrity's that would love to do that but don't have the guts because they would ruin their image. Well done Mayer you have my respect!

  22. Nesa says – reply to this


    Wow most men run from Aniston these days. If he has a brain then he will stay away from Jen.

  23. @v@ says – reply to this


    Is that a denial or not? Ranting around in self-indulgent circles while saying nothing is the last bastion of the student essay writer who doesn't have the goods to address the essay question. Baffling with bullshit.

  24. 24

    He may be a dumbass, but he's a good writer.

  25. 25

    Re: Emily Caldwell – I take it you're a stripper? It's a metaphor, you idiot.

  26. 26

    It's sad that the only reason why most of you call him a douche is because Perez said so. I guess you all can't get opinions for yourself, but anywho. He may have messed up a couple of times, but that doesn't make you a douche. People fuck up. He is a great guy overall, and I know this for a fact.

  27. 27

    i love john mayer, & your calling him a douche cause he's defending himself against these no LIFE publicist? -______-

    The Huffington- is the DOUCH!

  28. dbcsb says – reply to this


    I NEVER comment but I really felt compelled this time. For someone who claims to be sooo into music and for someone who tries sooo hard to be part of the industry, Mayer's talent seems to be lost on you. He is literally the best musician around. Even if someone does not ENJOY his music, there should be a respect of talent. He is a creative genius who writes some complicated stuff for such a dumbed down audience out there. You're out here supporting someone like B.Spears, for example, who doesn't write her own music let alone really sing live. Mayer is a perfect example of a down right talented man. Show some respect if you want to be in the music industry. The man has skills and doesn't change his style to go with the mainstream; he evolves as a musician instead. Really Perez….Really?

  29. 29

    HAHA I love this man!

  30. Daily says – reply to this


    If Mayer wants to be consided a serious muscian then he should stop playing tabloid games and play music. Playing media games with Maniston put him right in the middle of rag magzines. Douche bag wants the best of both worlds.
    Right now he is a tabloid king.

  31. d77 says – reply to this


    Re: Jordan LaeschRe: Jordan Laesch

    Huffington Post the same as Drudge Report?


    Thanks. I needed a laugh.

    One word.


  32. d77 says – reply to this


    Re: Bleucher

    C'moon Mayer…I thought you would have more imagination then that..

  33. 33

    Dear Perez:

    Please get over the fact John Mayer will NEVER EVER have sexual relations with you. You're snide hateful comments scream jealous dumped girlfriend. Call up Jessica Simpson, buy a pint of ice cream and you two bitches can eat your feelings together.

  34. 34

    it's "none TOO pleased." Maybe if you could write as well as John Mayer …

  35. 35

    John Mayer may have made some stupid or insensitive comments in the past, but there is no doubt that he is absolutely brilliant, with a sharp sense of humor, and a great musical talent (even if his singing voice is just mediocre). I really like smart boys who are unafraid to speak their mind. Go, JM!

  36. 36

    Re: bbtaddpole – Everything I was thinking and wanted to say… You captured! Perez Hilton's hateful, BULL SHIT rants regarding John Mayer are…. honestly, odd!. Perez is completely "head over heels" for JM and
    JM, never cared. HA!

    Ps. I still don't like John Mayer….

  37. @v@ says – reply to this


    Huffpo likely prints this fluff stuff in hopes drawn readers will also manage to glance at some important news.

  38. 38

    maybe sometimes he needs to just shut his mouth, but i think he's hilarious with his insults. he's a good writer and musician with real talent. Id rather have him in the limelight any day over celebs without talent like kesha or miley

  39. 39

    After this meat turd's David Duke remark, his opinions ceased to matter.

  40. 40

    Actually, this is very well written, Perez. As a HP reader, it rings very true and shows a clever use of metaphor.

  41. 41

    I always liked his music
    never paid him any mind

  42. 42

    A to O to the HUFFPOPO! Oh my no no!! Sample tweet for Mr. Mayer "Today, I tweeted and peed too hard / then I said, “Oh no! What the – “ / Good night, gentlemen." #americantanka

  43. 43

    Back that motherboard up!