No ifs, ands, or BUTTS about it!
However, its most eyebrow-raising article is about the dos and don'ts of anal sex!
The brand wrote:
[Image via WENN.]
When that New Jersey judge called into question Snooki's dignity and saying that she sold it for a paycheck, we wanted to talk some sense into that fool!
How dare he imply that Snooki Snicker's wild antics are just the product of a script laid out by MTV execs to ensure that people actually stay tuned in for a three season! Erroneous charges, we said! Erroneous!
Except it seems that even we have been duped! Turns out that The Jersey Shore is just as fake as the MTV reality shows that have come before it.
A Perezcilious reader sent us these shots of the cast filming in Seaside over the summer. As you can see, everyone is being primped and perfected by the show's stylist - no one is getting their guido on alone. It wouldn't be such a traumatic turn of events if we weren't blatantly watching this hair whore put up Snook's iconic poof! Girl can't even be bothered to do that anymore!
The horror! For shame!
It seems that the Shore has quickly turned into The Hills. We anticipate that the final scene will have The Situation getting into the back of a Ed Hardy deco-limo as Snooki watches him drive away from in front of Karma. After a beat, two stage hands will remove the backdrop of Seaside Heights and reveal that they've actually been filming in Newark all this time, in a swamp, which is the actual reason for there "tanning" discoloration. (Chemical waste!)