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God Told Michael Lohan That Lindsanity Is Recovered!

| Filed under: Icky Icky PooLindsay LohanAwardzMichael Lohan


Will this douchebag ever getting tired of jerking himself off hearing the sound of his own voice??

Lindsay Lohan's stalker father, Michael, is apparently so pleased with his daughter's thirteen second appearance at the Video Music Awards that he's convinced that she is 100% healthy again!

He says:

"For a LONG time now I have been worrying and praying that the my 'blessed and gifted' daughter would find her way back. At times, I was too vocal, I made the wrong decisions and certainly handled things the wrong way. I constantly asked God that if it was His will to take me before her, which I stand by to this day. While some have made their pacts with the devil, I made mine with God, to take me first, or simply help Lindsay find her way back, and if so, He can do whatever He wants with me. Tonight, my prayers were met. On the MTV Music Awards, I saw, heard and know that Lindsay is back and I believe she will be better than ever."

Who does he think he is?

You didn't make a pact with God OR the Devil, moron! You made a pact with various media outlets to famewhore and exploit your child! It's a miracle she's even alive, after how badly you fucked her life up!

If you're proud of her, send her an effing fruit basket with a note!

[Image via WENN.]

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15 comments to “God Told Michael Lohan That Lindsanity Is Recovered!”

  1. 1

    And will you ever get tired of posting about this idiot? It is a post worthy? This guy speaks only shit and nobody cares!!!!

  2. 2

    It's those darn voices in his head again.

  3. 3

    He sure makes it easy to be an atheist.

  4. 4

    would you stop giving this massive tool ink? does it really get you eyeballs. is there no low to low for you?

  5. 5

    blessed and gifted with some nice big titties.

  6. 6

    If you want him to go away, why do you keep him in the eyes of your readers?

  7. 7

    PEREZ & FELLOW ARSE PLUGGERS…S.T.F.U. You losers suck….eggs!

  8. 8

    Seriously enough already!! I'm tired of seeing posts about him. Hating on XTina and reporting on this dude is soooo 2009! Please ENOUGH!

  9. 9

    Michael Lohan is a wonderful father!

  10. 10

    he need to be kicked in the balls…really, really hard

  11. 11

    God doesn't make pacts. Because he's God. He doesn't have to.

  12. @v@ says – reply to this


    Wow. That was a fake and rehearsed clip of just a few seconds, so now she's cured? His fantasy clinic will have the fastest patient turnaround in California.

  13. 13

    I think he loved listening to himself when he was telling everyone how addicted and insane his daughter was. I don't really care about "them" but it seemed genuine to me as LL's father he went on and on about it wasn't about "him" but only his love for his daughter.
    Well doctors at UCLA's psychiatric unit tells us LL isn't addicted (per se) nor clinically insane. It's sad when he can continue make such pathological statements beating his faux concerns into the ground. I hope California will not let him open a rehab facility because I have questions of what qualifications he has other than being an ex-con and a loser?

  14. 14

    He's too wordy, I'm worried about him. He's going to overdose on vicoden.

  15. 15

    nobody but you gives a shit about michael lohan. is he paying you to post about him?