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Snooki Wants To Date A Businessman

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It looks like Snooki is ready to move past guidos and meatheads. She announced yesterday that she wants to date a businessman.

“The past luck that I’ve had with these gorillas isn’t amazing. It’s not a fairy tale. I want a fairy tale and I feel if I can get a fairy tale with anybody, it would be like a successful businessman and his last name needs to end in a vowel.”

Good news, all of you eligible businessmen out there! Personality and looks aren’t important — just be rich and have a name that ends in a vowel!

Go get her, boys!

[Image via Adriana M. Barraza/WENN.]

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47 comments to “Snooki Wants To Date A Businessman”



  1. 1

    MAYBE SHE SHOULD FIND SOME CHINAMAN WHO OWNS SOME NAIL SALONS WHO COULD GIVE HER ACRYLICS UPDATED FOR 2010 INSTEAD OF 1999. IF NOT A CHINAMAN MAYBE SOME JEWISH GUY WHO OWNS A BUNCH OF JENNY CRAIGS.



  2. 2

    The question is, why would any respected businessman want to date her? Anyone with any sort of success can get much better.

    She can't be a shithead all her life and then one day decide that she wants what everyone else has worked hard to get.



  3. 3

    What successful businessman would want to date a fat, drunk, mustache faced pig like her with no talent or future?



  4. 4

    They don't write fairy tales about fat, ugly sluts for a reason.

  5. navik says – reply to this


    5

    she just did not take for consideration one tiny thing: who's gonna take TINY, FAT, UGLY bitch like her !



  6. 6

    Her face has the same recurring nightmare quality as Octomom. It is repulsive yet at the same time you just can't turn away.



  7. 7

    I'M SURE BUSINESS MEN CAN GET WOMEN BETTER LOOKING THAN HER WITHOUT THE STD's!! STICK WITH WHAT YOU KNOW SNOOKI!!



  8. 8

    Yes, that's a GREAT message to send out to all of the women out there:
    … "In order to be a worthy and accepted human being, I have to have a good man. And he has to 'look like this' and 'talk like that' and have lots of money, so he can afford my addictions."
    ((((sigh))))
    Girls, we've come SO far in our quest for liberation, haven't we?
    Who cares about FORGING YOUR OWN LIFE, and MAKING A NAME FOR YOURSELF???
    Apparently, "popularity" as a woman is now equated with how many times your name is written online with the words "skank" OR "whore" attached to it.
    Lovely.
    To all women who are 40+ and reading this garbage:
    WHAT are we teaching our daughters????
    Is THIS what young women women should strive for?
    Is THIS is what we wanted?
    Slutty alcoholic whores who figure a MAN is gonna save them?
    Good Goddess.
    GROW THE FUCK UP, Snooki. Look into your HEART and HEAD and get a fucking life!
    DITCH the "checklist" for a good man who's gonna make your life "perfect," and TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
    You know, before you're dead.



  9. 9

    I think she can be very successful at that. All she needs is to find some Schmuck that has a fetish for loudmouthed, orange, duckfaced traffic cones with a future waistline the size of the Equator.



  10. 10

    what kind of jew has a last name that ends in a vowel?



  11. 11

    She looks like a snake that swallowed a horse so why would a businessman want to date her unless maybe he's blind….
    www.thethrifters.net



  12. 12

    I hope she's socking away the money she makes now, because the future is bleak for someone like her. It sickens me that her castmat the Shituation is going to be on Dancing with the Stars. He is NOT a star. He is a douchebag who can't keep his shirt down. Ugh.



  13. 13

    Maybe a bussiness man frm a JUNK YARD..



  14. 14

    Someone rich who last name ends in a vowel…she wants a Italian?? Yeah hon, you're the last chica who has the qualities to be picky w/ a lover, lmao



  15. 15

    Ugh, she is so fucking ugly. These tools from jersey and new york are from the third world. They cannot speak grammatically correct english, they dress like whores and serve no purpose.



  16. 16

    shes to ugly to be a kept woman. then again anyone who would be with her is garranteed sex since we all know she puts out.



  17. 17

    The girl is way too wild to be in a relationship;)



  18. 18

    Wow… She's just fat.



  19. 19

    The only businessman she'd get is a pimp.

  20. Dusss says – reply to this


    20

    Somehow, I've got hope for Snooki.

    At least she's trying to change. Maybe she doesn't know exactly how… but she's trying… tiny steps.
    I think the hair is a good start. And realizing that those guys she's been dating so far were wrong.
    Now all she needs to learn is how to find a good guy, how to dress classy, eat healthy… but, she might get there!



  21. 21

    She looks like a turd with ears.



  22. 22

    Re: RakelSpektakel – Shapiro is a Jewish name. Just sayin'.



  23. 23

    GOOD LUCK FINDING A CLASSY MAN, YOU TRASHY BITCH.
    YOU ARE USE UP AND FUCKED OUT !!!



  24. 24

    Re: RakelSpektakel – Maybe she is saying"no jews".



  25. 25

    I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole…



  26. 26

    She is'nt horrible looking, but why does'nt someone tell hber how ridiculous that fake tan looks! It is way too much -less is better Snook! It makes you look really cheap and silly -but maybe that's her appeal?



  27. 27

    drizzle with olive oil and simmer on low heat



  28. 28

    has she ever been checked for retardation?

  29. JuNoZ says – reply to this


    29

    The Snooking for love saga continues.



  30. 30

    Re: RakelSpektakel – Levy/Levi?



  31. 31

    just another hooker



  32. 32

    Snooki looks like shit, not just a regular shit, but a messy do do. She even looks like she smells bad. Maybe someone in the biz of cleaning septic tanks would be interested.



  33. 33

    It's nice that Snooki relates to her adoptive parents who are Italian-Americans, but her ancestry is Chilean, and wouldn't it be nice if she gave some Latin fellas a shout out, too?



  34. 34

    yeah right like a real businessman is going to fall in love with a drunky fugly orange ass she's a gorilla herself so I guess she doesn't have mirrows in that house to know that.



  35. 35

    with a face like that, you can't be picky. Gross, gross, gross. Since when did orange skin become hot? ew man face.



  36. 36

    Does Willy Wonka count as a "businessman"? His name 'ends in a vowel' and he gets along well with orange creatures.



  37. 37

    With that look, that´s unlikely unless the businessman is pervert. I´m not insulting Snooki, but if she keeps going on her vulgar lifestyle and cheap taste concerning her undescribable clothing style, her dreams will stay just a dream. She needs to change her friends, her environment and get proper education, she may change her luck.



  38. 38

    Oh Snooks, you are so deep. His last name needs to end in a vowel? Hah!



  39. 39

    EVERYTIME I SEE THIS CHECK I FEEL LIKE WASHING HER FACE, SHES SO GREASSY LOOKING, UGH HER OILY SKIN IS SO OVERLY BRONZE!!



  40. 40

    Re: Alice9 – LOL!



  41. 41

    Such lofty aspirations this girl has.



  42. 42

    snooki makes me shit out of my mouth. blek



  43. 43

    She has a publicist! I'm sure she didn't come to this decision on her own as naturally, she's a MORAN.



  44. 44

    Re: Brainbug

    LMAO!!!!!!!!! that made me laugh..=) thanks!



  45. 45

    Bedroom DJ you are tooo hilarious1 Anyway Perez you goddamn hypocrite…you will rag on "Yessica don't call me latina Alba" for as long as you live, but this latina skank gets to just slide your radar?



  46. 46

    she is not only ugly, but her attitude sucks! she parties hard, she gets drunk, has no talent and she is not even attractive. If she were a healthier person or at least, had a brain then she would aim to date a business man… but when you have a sucky attitude you should stick to dating assholes.

    Business man can get way better women. Thou business men like to date barbie dolls that have no brain but looks. Just saying.



  47. 47

    Omg Is that the Michelin Man's Sister? Shes sporting a bakery full of cinnamon rolls. and she is mega butt ugly