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Perez Hilton's Top 10 Tips To Avoid Becoming A Hollywood Hot Mess

9/28/2010 10:59 AM ET | Filed under: Personally Perez

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18 comments to “Perez Hilton's Top 10 Tips To Avoid Becoming A Hollywood Hot Mess”



  1. 1

    what would you know fatty, have you looked in the mirror?



  2. 2

    Eldridge Cleaver's top 10 tips to become a prick like Perez Hilton
    1. Trash people today whose ass you kissed yesterday
    2. Draw hearts on dudes' crotches and draw cum on chicks' faces
    3. Write at least 7 stories a day about a tranny
    4. Snort meth as much as possible
    5. Whack off to photos of the Biebs as much as possible
    6. Make videos with your mom in hopes of garnering sympathy
    7. Talk mad shit on very sick celebrities then say "Sad.Sad" when they OD.
    Editor's note: RIP Brittany Murphy
    8. Try to "out" as many celebrities as possible
    9. Snort as much meth as possible
    Editor's note: this isn't a typo. Mario snorts A LOT of meth.
    10. Upset people as much as possible by promoting Travis Garland and illegal immigration.



  3. 3

    like you are one to be doling out advice about being a mess? give me a break. you are a role model for hot messes



  4. 4

    Don't be a hot mess. Said twice. Ok, as advice goes, it was adequate. Aside from your juvenile on air behavior, and your girlie giggling, using LILO as an example of a hot mess was a good idea. Bottom line, Perez: Grow the fuck up already!



  5. 5

    obvious and sound advice. my question is, how much of it does mario go by?



  6. 6

    Re: Eldridge Cleaver – i love your comments, they're so wonderful



  7. 7

    Re: Eldridge Cleaver – Oh snap, Eldrige FTW! LoL so true!!!

  8. 6one9 says – reply to this


    8

    Great advice ““` except for the “` sucking dick part. Come on now Perez ““
    Be thankful for you own Perez website.. No need to ever have to sucky sucky for that!! YOU did work HARD to get where you are. So enjoy “that and please don't tell people to “` Suck a dick to get further in hollyweird!! TYVM :)



  9. 9

    Tips #1-10: Ignore Perez Hilton and not listen to any advice or for that matter, anything he has to say at all, and dont become his friend. Or have anything to do with Perez Hilton all together.
    Seriously dude, you are the last person in the world to give any kind of advice to unless you can prove that you dont hate everyone.



  10. 10

    Eldridge Cleaver - I don't know who you are but you are my HERO. Your top ten tips were the best!



  11. 11

    Hahahaa….. Perez, You are to damn funny! All said is so true!! "Don't be a hott mess" people!



  12. 12

    Re: Eldridge Cleaver –

    Dude, I believe #10 should read:

    Upset people as much as possible by endlessly kissing Lady Gaga's ass, wasting readers precious time with that fool Travis Garland, stuffing your sophomoric views on DADT + illegal immigration down their throats, and for being such a meth-head you actually reported that FIDEL CASTRO was dead.



  13. 13

    1 binge
    2 purge
    3 binge
    4 since purging didnt work, do coke
    5 draw dicks on everything
    6 make lots of typos
    7 steal your pics and stories from other sites
    8 well not steal, but cut and paste
    9 lose the weight but not the ugly
    10 start back again at 1



  14. 14

    Eldridge is my hero….. love the Eldge!



  15. 15

    To all those peeps who said kind words about my post: A thousand thank you's to you :)

  16. @v@ says – reply to this


    16

    So now if Simon were to consider giving you the job, everyone would say that you got it because…so do you think Simon would consider it now?
    Re: Eldridge Cleaver – I finally accidentally figured out who your av was. Lol.



  17. 17

    Re: @v@ – LOL Yeah, it's one of the best school photos I've ever seen. I'm sure if Ryan Seacrest knew I was using it as my avatar he wouldn't be too pleased but lucky for me I don't like Ryan Seacrest so I'm ok :) Take care



  18. 18

    Re: Eldridge Cleaver – As much as I disagree on maaaaany things you said on this page before, I LOVE this post. Just summrizes, what 90% of the people here think about Perez. But honestly, kissing GAGA's ass is also worth mentioning :D