This sh*t's bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S!
According to sources, they just signed a contract with rocker grrrl Gwen Stefani!!!!
Late one night this week, while the moon was high and the people of El Lay slept soundly in their beds, a starlet planned to Shawshank her way out of rehab. She was itching for a fix of Diet Coke Plus, so behind her Justin Bieber poster, she tunneled her way to freedom using a tongue depressor and her tenacity. But alas, she was thwarted when the wardens learned of her daring escape and lassoed her just as she was shimming down the rope she had made of floss and dreams.
But there were reports this morning that she did try, with sources claiming she wasn't happy at the Betty Ford Center and tried to sneak out for a soda. But her lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, adamantly denied the stories and even went so far as to report that Lindsay is making "glowing" progress according to her doctors.
That's what we like to hear! Work hard for that comeback! Don't screw it up this time.
[Image via WENN.]