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Lindsay's Great Escape All A Hoax

| Filed under: Lindsay LohanDrugsSilly!

lindsay lohan did not try to escape from rehab says lawyer shawn chapman holley

Late one night this week, while the moon was high and the people of El Lay slept soundly in their beds, a starlet planned to Shawshank her way out of rehab. She was itching for a fix of Diet Coke Plus, so behind her Justin Bieber poster, she tunneled her way to freedom using a tongue depressor and her tenacity. But alas, she was thwarted when the wardens learned of her daring escape and lassoed her just as she was shimming down the rope she had made of floss and dreams.

That starlet was Lindsay Lohan…and no, she didn't try to escape from rehab, by any means. (including that story we just made up on the spot!)

But there were reports this morning that she did try, with sources claiming she wasn't happy at the Betty Ford Center and tried to sneak out for a soda. But her lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, adamantly denied the stories and even went so far as to report that Lindsay is making "glowing" progress according to her doctors.

That's what we like to hear! Work hard for that comeback! Don't screw it up this time.

[Image via WENN.]


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10 comments to “Lindsay's Great Escape All A Hoax”

  1. 1

    LOL, I like your story better. I can honestly see Lindsay trying to get a diet soda! IMHO! Love the story!

  2. 2

    Has she ever admitted to anything . . . NO . . .everything in her world is always made up, a lie, not her fault etc. She probably did need her "coke" fix and is now just trying to cover her tracks. Her layer is paid to say whatever Lindsay wants so she should just shutup since no one believes her anyway.

  3. 3

    Re: Babycakes!!!
    Perez faked that story himself.

  4. 4

    love the shawshank ref!!!

  5. 5

    lol!! @ "the rope she made of floss and dreams" The visual is priceless

  6. 6

    Dumbass attempt at sounding like your far more verbally talented peers.

  7. 7

    So, he won't be shaming people that seek to improve their lives and relationships through medical intervention anymore like Chynna Phillips?

    "Guess you can go to rehab for just about ANYTHING!
    Former member of pop group Wilson Phillips, Chynna Phillips checked herself into rehab for anxiety over the weekend.

    Isn't rehab for anxiety called a spa?!
    Shit! Breathe into a paper bag and get over it! Get well!"

    Fuck you, Mario. You are a hypocrite.

  8. 8

    those shorts are so ugly

  9. Nuria says – reply to this


    Well Perez, gotta compliment you on taking this new road on portraying Lindsay.
    Keep it up!

  10. 10

    Hey, if Lindsay's really trying, then some of these jackwads who keep dissing her because of her past foul-ups should leave her the hell alone.