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Here's The Situation…

| Filed under: The Situation

first book by jersey shores situation book cover gtl

On the cover of his first book!

Yes, he beats the beat and now he's beat Snooki Snickers to the bookshelf!

Coming in two weeks, The Jersey Shore's most famous juicehead, The Situation, releases his first literay masterpiece: Here's the Situation: A Guide to Creeping on Chicks, Avoiding Grenades, and Getting in Your GTL on the Jersey Shore. (They were going to call it Great Expectations, but that was already taken.)

Wow! We're already captivated!

Sitch describes the book as "the bible for Situation Nation" and according to sources, the pages are filled with tips on living the ultimate guido lifestyle, from how to cook lasagna to how to put it in. You heard us.

As he describes to Amazon:

"This book will take your game to a level thought unattainable, given your physical limitations (because we can't all look like Rambo, pretty much, with our shirt off) … From there it's my guide to the 'Jersey Shore,' battle plans for the club, a primer on grenades and wingmen, and tips for ridding yourself of all levels of clinger."

Wow! Look out Justin Bieber! You're book might very well be on its way to being fistpumped!

Do U think you'll be reading The Situation's first book?

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37 comments to “Here's The Situation…”

  1. 1

    I won't be spending my hard earned money on this one….that's okay..eventually I'll borrow it from the library.

  2. 2

    hell to the fucking no.

  3. Bree says – reply to this


    Does it include a chapter in smacking chicks in the face when they wont leave with you?

  4. 4

    Anyone I know who even THINKS about reading this is dead to me.
    What the hell is wrong with people that this is even a book.

  5. 5

    No I would never buy this piece of shit book. He's so full of himself and treats women like garbage. And Perez don't ever compare Justin Biebers book to this garbage. Justins book is now a best seller on the New York times.

  6. 6

    lol its pretty funny.. people are going to hate on them.. but lets be honest.. they are riding this gravy train!

  7. 7

    wow lol

  8. 8


  9. 9

    hmm…I find it ironic that HE talks about avoiding grenades…….

  10. 10

    TIt should be called Greasey Dego Wop Dick

  11. 11

    Who in the fuck would ever want to read this? Do I like The Jersey Shore…yes. Does my like for The Jersey Shore as a t.v. show spill over into other areas…no. This guy is a tool, and he's fucking ugly as hell.

  12. 12

    Fuck you, SHITuation!

  13. 13

    This book is going to be like the Ed Hardy of shirts… if you have it, you are an automatic douchebag.

  14. 14

    I love Jersey Shore, but there is no way in HELL anyone is going to buy this book!

  15. 15

    Well I'll be damned

  16. 16

    Here's the best part-this guy is nearing 30. He already has wrinkles and that huge parrot nose on that peanut head is hilarious. Any woman who has been with this "thing" needs to think about STD's. No woman wants a used-up brain-dead jerk. The best part is this guy isnt goodlooking. He's a huge giant grenade. But I notice that he doesn't pick up any hot chicks. They are all sloppy wrecks. LOL

  17. 17

    I think i just threw up in my mouth a little bit

  18. 18

    and haha at camshing "hell to the fucking no"

  19. 19

    You know if he put out a cookbook and left his GPSing out of it, I might actually consider looking at it, but beyond a few worthwhile recipes he has nothing else to offer…anyone.

  20. ~Eve~ says – reply to this


    To Look Like A Douche Bag: (AKA The Situation)

    Step 1: Wear Ed Hardy Everything
    Step 2: Slap Unsuspecting Bitches In the Face
    Step 3: Have Massive Deslusions Of Grandeur
    Step 4: "Get it In" to Everything with or without a rapper…

  21. 21

    LMFAO! At least he doesn't take himself too seriously and he is definitely making the most out of his 15 minutes. Good for him.Love him on JS bummed he got the boot on DWTS since he was why I was watching.

  22. 22

    I like to watch The Jersey Shore but to tell you the truth I can't stand Mike the Situation he is so full of shit he talks about about grenades when he himself is so fucking ugly and not just that but also a big asshole.. SO hell no!! I wouldn't spend a cent on this !!!come mierda!!!

  23. 23

    "The Idiot's Guide to Being a Douchebag"

  24. 24

    This clown's game is beat…no sale.

  25. 25

    I might read it to see how many different contexts he can use the word situation in.

  26. 26

    Occasionally you have something very clever to say… This should hold you over for sometime.

    (They were going to call it Great Expectations, but that was already taken.)


  27. 27

    "This book will take your game to a level thought unattainable, given your physical limitations" ???

    Is he saying only he has mastered picking up bar trash whores? What a talent… Personally I didn't think he new how to read… He's in such loser denial it's ridiculous!

  28. 28

    He is OLD and gross. ugh. Can this guy write? Or read, for that matter. Jesus.

  29. 29

    I actually laughed out loud after reading his quote description. Not with him, but at him. That doesn't usually happen where I read something somebody says in all seriousness and then burst out laughing…..

  30. 30

    Note that there is a second author on this book - probably the person who wrote the whole thing. I'm waiting for a version to come out that's pre-cut and wrapped on a toilet paper roll. That'll save me time. This has got to be the most asinine piece of crap that's been published since Sarah Palin's book.

  31. 31

    LMAO - ya know, this made my day. Bad day at work…great laugh at The Situation's expense.

    As for the book…not even as a door stop.

    As for The Situation…Angelina got more play than he did and he acted like a bitch. He acts more like a bitch than anyone else on that show and if you watch the show you know that's a LOT of bitchiness.

    He looks like he got beat by a bag of rocks and I wish he would stop showing off his stomach. He's really not all that.

    My boyfriend is 49 and his body is better and he's fine as hell - because he's got the heart to match the entire package.

    Mike - you better milk this ride for what you can get because you are sooooo 10 minutes ago.

  32. 32

    Re: WMariah – hahah imagine seeing this book in the library.. o man hahah

  33. 33

    how is this dude calling others grenades.. lol .. thats like the catwoman pointing to someone and saying whoa they have too much surgery ..

  34. 34

    I would let him fuck me, his body is sick, but that face is hideous. Wear a paper bag over it.

  35. 35

    I didn't know he could read, let alone write.

  36. 36

    I hate this loser.

  37. 37

    Re: whatdoIknow – That's exactly what I was thinking. lol!