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Rachel Uchitel Plans On Becoming A Private Investigator

| Filed under: Wacky, Tacky & TrueLove LineTiger Woods

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Well, this is something we did NOT see coming!

Tiger's former #1 mistress, Rachel Uchitel says that she plans on going back to school to become a private investigator.

She told sources:

"I decided to go back to school and get my private investigation license! I’ve learned to shoot a weapon. I had to Taser someone the other day.

I had to get pepper sprayed, so I know what the effects are — so much fun! I had the best time ever! I’ve already gone under cover, I’ve done process serving. In court, we actually do real stuff for the investigator who’s teaching or class, so it’s very cool.

I’m going to work under my professor, Dale Gustafson, who runs DGA Detectives. I will take the test and actually be able to open up my own business under Dale’s license with him as a mentor until I get the hours under my belt to get my own license."

And it sounds like Miss Uchitel is ready to get down to some serious business! She adds:

"Having my own detective agency would be something I’d love to do. I’m actually trying to convince some of my friends to invest in cadaver dogs and come down with me on vacation to Orlando to search for a missing girl. I’ve been obsessed with finding missing people for so long."

It sounds like Rachel will focus most of her energy on her new professional career as she says that her dating life is pretty non-existent at the moment. She says:

"It’s hard to find somebody who can be accepting of all the stuff that they’ve read and choose to be with me for who I really am. Obviously, there are a lot of guys that are kind of around, but… it’s more my fault than anyone else’s. I guess I’m kind of scared of dating."

And when asked what would be a deal breaker, she says, "If they’re dating somebody or married. If somebody lied to me about anything, I wouldn’t date them."

LOLs! Um, pretty ironic, if you ask us! Too bad she didn't take her own advice BEFORE allegedly having an affair with Tiger.

[Image via WENN.]

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26 comments to “Rachel Uchitel Plans On Becoming A Private Investigator”

  1. oden says – reply to this


    1

    RE-"Tiger's former #1 mistress, Rachel Uchitel says that she plans on going back to school to become a private investigator".

    NO WAY! First you need brains….Second, you can't be a narcotics user….Third, you need more than a trade school certificate. You must have previous investigation experience, and I don't mean trying to find your local drug dealer to get your next fix.

    GET OFF THE DRUGS LADY!



  2. 2

    "If they’re dating somebody or married. If somebody lied to me about anything, I wouldn’t date them."

    hypocrite. you've been there and done that, so if you really expect us to believe this bull, you're a lot thicker than we all thought lol



  3. 3

    Please, PLEASE stop reporting on this homewrecker.



  4. 4

    Oh, I get it! She's playing "Charlie's Angels"!



  5. 5

    Sounds like she's getting ready for a reality show of her own, like Steven Segal.
    ~yawn~



  6. 6

    of course she's vacationing in Orlando, we all know who has a home in Orlando. pathetic!!!



  7. 7

    Re: stefystef – Yeah really. Looks like celebrity rehab with Dr. Drew wasn't enough for her.



  8. 8

    Her first case could be to discover where Tiger's golf career has disappeared to.



  9. 9

    Surely she can afford extensions that match her brown hair! Such a troll.



  10. 10

    Re: oden – Maybe for her P.I means to investigate married men privates parts.

  11. @v@ says – reply to this


    11

    PUBLIC investigator, at best. Her cover is kind of blown.



  12. 12

    Re: Cashmere Jay – haaa!!!!



  13. 13

    She´s interested in more dick, in private, while charging a fee for it.



  14. 14

    "I've learned to shoot a weapon."
    "I've already gone under cover,"
    "I'm going to work under my professor,"
    The occupation may have changed, but the skillset remains the same.
    *
    Re: @v@ – Happy Boxing Day if you celebrate!



  15. 15

    Um. Rachel U., the private dick? Someone should kindly let her know that in order to do this kind of a job, you need brains, common sense, and a certain amount of problem solving skills. I'm pretty sure this tart falls short on all three counts. You also have to be focused and dedicated, you don't just log eight hours in and you're done for the day, it's a 24 hour gig. Sounds like she's thinking ahead to when Celebrity Rehab is over. Try again, Rachel.

    And I'm also pretty sure you can't be a known narcotics user…I almost feel sorry for this person. She has very little personality and no actual practical skills. I think going to school to learn to be productive is a great idea for her, but I don't think this is the right trade and I think she's going to need Dr. Drew there to hold her hand through the whole process.



  16. 16

    What a dipsh!t.



  17. 17

    Private investigator? I bet that'll work out wonderfully — pretty much everyone in the U.S knows what she looks like.



  18. 18

    Does she really think we believe her when she said getting pepper sprayed was fun?



  19. 19

    she sounds like a nut to me. Maybe Tiger just fucked her brains out.

  20. @v@ says – reply to this


    20

    Re: Phibes – Ha! Back at you, and would have sooner but was at a boxing day spread that had more types of food than I've seen in a year.
    It's a tums night. : P



  21. 21

    I like this chick - she's actually very smart and savvy! All the best to you, Rachel!!!!



  22. 22

    Rachel is tough and street smart, a survivor! She'll make an excellent P.I.



  23. 23

    forgot to say - am i the only person who chuckled at 'I’m going to work under my professor' ? honestly - she could not have phrased that better.



  24. 24

    "Private" Investigator? Like SHE wouldn't stand out? Everyone knows who this ho is, nothing private about her.



  25. 25

    I THINK THAT WHAT SHE WANTS IS A LEGAL WAY TO GET INFO ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE'S PRIVATE LIVES TO EXTORTION THEM!!!WHAT A DISGUSTING PIECE OF TRASH THIS WOMAN IS!!!



  26. 26

    I THINK THAT UGLITEL IS TRYING TO GET A LEGAL WAY TO LOOK INTO OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES TO EXTORTION THEM!!!