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No More Stealing Pink Fifties! Computers Take Over Monopoly!

| Filed under: Tech Talk

You know, making the world's smartest humans look like simpletons on national television is one thing, computers….but now you are screwing with an American pass-time!

We don't like this at all!

Introducing Monopoly Live, the newest edition of America's favorite way to waste 13 hours of their lives. The rules are the same as they always were, but in this new age, people apparently shouldn't be bothered to do things like roll dice or count change. Heavens no! That's why Hasbro unveiled a new technology - a new computer - that will do all the work for you!

See that tower in the middle of the board there? That wonder stick keeps track of all your money, rolls the dice for you and it even knows where your doggie lands on the board. No more Chance or Community cards, everything is done by that Shake Weight magic cylinder. With a wave of one hand, you can buy Park Place and with a wave of the other, you can say goodbye to cheating your Grandma out of all the Railroads. This super computer will have none of those shenanigans.

Check out the video (above) to see Monopoly Live plot its world domination in action.

Too much. We're really not okay with this.

How about U?

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20 comments to “No More Stealing Pink Fifties! Computers Take Over Monopoly!”

  1. 1

    so basically you can just sit there and watch it move. the whole point of the monopoly game was so that you can do everything yourself e.g. roll the dice, not just sit there and watch it all happen!

  2. 2

    taking away most of the activities of the game? not cool. I find the new electronic debit card system weird, yeah it speeds up gameplay, but it just doesn't feel right.

  3. 3

    Oh my god, get over it. It's not like you have to purchase it or play it, stick with the original version if you're going to be a baby about it.

  4. 4

    SOOO LAME a digital dice. my god. There will be a turning point in the future where kids will think: O my god a real dice? i want that. oooh a physical disc that has music on it?? how cool?

  5. 5

    talk about taking all the fun out of the game. laaaaaame.

  6. 6

    this is fucking stupid .

  7. 7

    It's called an American "PAST TIME", honey. SMH…

  8. 8

    I think we are capable of rolling our own dice! Might be the only exercise some people get! :P

  9. 9

    "With a wave of one hand, you can buy Park Place and with a wave of the other, you can say goodbye to cheating your Grandma out of all the Railroads." LOL! Thats hilarious.

  10. 10

    This is a terrible idea. Unless you are fithly rich and have someone else do everything for you anyway! Monopoly was one of the ways I learned to count and how to count money. This makes me think. I will never buy this kind of game. What is the point! you play a game to have fun, or has that changed too!

  11. 11

    no - no - no !

  12. ~E~ says – reply to this


    this is sad. it takes away all the fun of monopoly. cant even be the banker WTF.

  13. 13

    I think we are dumbing down our future generations. They don't have to even know how to count to play! How about managing your money? Sheesh. I like how now every game comes in 53 editions too. Want Operation? It is available in Shrek, Simpsons, Spongebob, Iron Man 2, the Hulk, Toy Story…the list is insane! It is just so when your kid does not like the character you can buy the game AGAIN. Wasteful.

  14. 14

    There is a cicular monopoly in the UK that uses credit cards, no cash etc.

  15. 15

    i remember learning how to add using monopoly money. this is just making americans even lazier by not having to think.. this is total crap!!!

  16. 16


  17. 17

    Re: nuthnmuchu – Very good point. My eight year old son loves to be responsible for his "money" and keep track of what he can and can't buy.

  18. 18

    Geesh. this sucks. The greatest part of Monopoly was landing on someone's property and hoping they wouldn't notice so you didn't have to pay. Where's that excitement now? Boo! Monopoly as is is perfect! Don't ruin it!

  19. 19


  20. 20

    Um, weren't the fifties blue? The $5 were pink…….