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Having Trouble Understanding Anything That Comes Out Of Charlie Sheen's Mouth?

| Filed under: Silly!Charlie Sheen

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You're not alone. Others are right behind scratching their heads and pondering why #tigerblood continues to be a trending topic on Twitter.

Fear not. We're here to help.

Someone uber-smart put together a dictionary to better explain the adonis enigma that is Charlie Sheen and his "Sheenisms." We'd like to share a few of these gems now.

You've probably heard the phrase "winning" in conjunction with "bi-winning" a lot in the past few days. Now, you might think you know the meaning of the former, but just to clarify, let's consult the dictionary:

Winning

Definition: The end goal of Charlie Sheen’s life philosophy.

Usage: “The only thing I’m addicted to right now is winning,” “Just winning every second,” “Winning, anyone?” “Duh, winning!”

Pronunciation: Quoth Sheen, “It rhymes with winning.”

Bi-winning

Definition: Winning on the ultimate level.

Usage: I’m not bi-polar, “I’m bi-winning. I win here and I win there.”

Following along? Great! Here's a few more phrases and their definitions to keep you up to speed:

Wearing a golden sombrero

Definition: Getting divorced four times in a row (kind of the opposite of a hat trick).

Usage: “I tried marriage. I'm 0 for 3 with the marriage thing. So, being a ballplayer — I believe in numbers. I'm not going 0 for 4. I'm not wearing a golden sombrero."

Tiger blood

Definition: What runs through Sheen’s veins, making him all-powerful.

Usage: “AA was written for normal people. People that don’t have tiger blood and Adonis DNA,” “[I survived drug addiction] because I'm me. I'm different. I have a different constitution, I have a different brain, I have a different heart. I got tiger blood, man.”

Sober Valley Lodge

Definition: The Beverly Hills home where Sheen claims he’s healed himself “with the power of my mind.”

Usage: “We couldn’t really call it rehab because we didn’t have a license to operate one, so it was a crisis management center that we labeled the Sober Valley Lodge. … Its primary client achieved radical success.”

The Wedge

Definition: Sheen’s nickname for himself, based on his preferred position between his two blonde 24-year-old girlfriends, a.k.a. "the goddesses."

Usage: “It’s a wedge. Boom. You form a wedge to make room for the guy carrying the ball.”

Fun, huh?

We hear the new Oxford American Dictionary is making adjustments as we speak to accommodate the changes Charlie's made to the English language.

Oh, and if you want to learn more vital information for your everyday life as shared by Professor Higgins Mr. Sheen, CLICK HERE to view more phrases in his dictionary.

It's a totally bitchin' thing to do!

[Image via WENN.]

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23 comments to “Having Trouble Understanding Anything That Comes Out Of Charlie Sheen's Mouth?”



  1. 1

    i'm obamic and just fired off this email to my dad at boeing with subject line VAGAVIOLENT care to read it in case he didn't get it across corporate email?
    do exactly what he tells you, i'm in a parking lot some guys tells me i can't be there. he is there why are you? he thumbs from his chest a scratched name security lanyard and grabs a bag. i let him walk but he sets it down and comes back! i live in fear, i leave and being pushed from where i'm living, the shelter do register surprise at the guys colleague with a lanyard as well. good fight. can i maybe spend some days ohne pedophiling or police? let me know about staying ¨the bull mountain way, i notice theres no polizei is it allright if i put deadbolt on my door, ohne knocking?



  2. 2

    by the way i was first into PWEI not doom, public enemy anti corporate



  3. 3

    I've come to the solution why he's so obsessed with winning — he listens to too much Down With Webster. I don't blame him. They are awesome =)



  4. 4

    He is such a doucebag however those quotes are genius!



  5. 5

    Well it is so good that we will now have a dictionary to help us understand him. I don't know how we would get through without it. So sad to see someone who really had the world by the balls throw it all away and not to even seem to know they are doing it.



  6. 6

    I'm not even gonna say anything about Charlie Sheen and his ridiculousllness. It's too easy.He thinks cus he has money he's better than everyone. Ya….doubt his kids will ever respect him. Gotta say one thing though, his "Goddesses" aren't even really all that pretty. Denise Richards was much more beautiful but he sure messed that up.



  7. 7

    The mumbling worked for Ozzy. Still does.

    Thomas Chi
    Publisher
    PresidentSarah.Net



  8. 8

    Just stop Perez…..enough Sheen! jesus christ



  9. 9

    Dear Perez,
    Mental health is an important issue in the US and the media is just sensationalizing for their own enjoyment . Charlie Sheen obviously suffers from a mental disorder and should be getting help. Many people suffer from mental issues every day. Most insurances do not cover it. That is the issue that should be brought to life instead of making fun of someone who is suffering from it.



  10. 10

    He reminds me of an ex boyfriend of mine, and he was and still is an alcoholic/drug addict. I tried to help him, but he was way beyond my help, and he is now in jail. Charlie is definitely headed for the same path.



  11. 11

    I love how you don't even credit the person who really wrote this. You are a meaningless hack of a blogger



  12. 12

    This poor, poor baby. I feel so freakin bad for him. I think he has been sick for a very long time. I am going to say some special prayers for him. I hope everyone else does, also.



  13. 13

    Charlie, you need to stop defining yourself as like a rock star, without adding the word "aging". You are closer to Keith Richards than Justin Bieber. And your goddesses, are only hanging around you for the cash factor. Seriously, what do you think young girls would want with your saggy old self? You can keep beaking off about "cocaine in your past", but I know a crystal meth user when I see one, and you have meth brain. That's why you talk so stupid. Eventually, the draino and battery acid in the meth will obliterate your brain. You are well on your way.



  14. 14

    Re: CBenji – SPOT ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1



  15. 15

    LOL i like how people can somehow find a way to criticize perez for this post. some people just never give it up do they? haha charlie sheen is a crazy mofo, keep news about him coming, it gives me a good laugh every day



  16. 16

    I understand that it is easy to make fun of and find humor in what Charlie Sheen has been saying in the media, however…I think it is important for your message to be clear and consistent that he has a mental disorder. I don't think that it is fair to one minute say that his story is a tragic one riddled with mental problems and then the next minute make fun of it for the purposes of media exposure. Priorities need to be straight.



  17. 17

    This coming from a fat guy who uses the term, "bb", "inneresting", draws hearts on private parts and misspells words because he thinks it's "cool".

    You're such a tool, Mario. Really, you are. Keep popping your back pimples, that's all you're good at.



  18. 18

    Exhausting. Boring. Enough.



  19. 19

    this guy needs to start a band !

  20. @v@ says – reply to this


    20

    High five to this piece writer, whoever that may be.



  21. 21

    You wanna know the funniest part about this whole thing??? He really thinks he's special. And I mean other than the fact that he has talent. Charlie Sheen literally thinks that he is the shit, and that his brain was built differently. Believe it or not, a lot of normal people think this way, as well, aNd it's just as hillarious as I don't know what. Take Miley Cyrus. She thought the same thing. I remember her quoting something that was like" Me and (ex) Liam think differently than everybody. We're much deeper as people." I mean, what the hell is that supposed to mean?? That your emotions are stronger?? It's crazy, because they genuinely think that they have something unique! And not just celebrities do it. I once when on a date with this guy, and when we were out to dinner he actually said "I think that everything around me is just an illusion. It's as if things are happening on queue when I walk into a room, and then it stops when I leave." I'll tell you what, I saID "check, please" faster than a roadrunner on speed! But I don't know what to say, it really blows my mind that there are so many normally intelligent folks out there that believe they have something that is intellectually unique. It's Just ridiculous. It's as if they think the world and science revolve around them.



  22. 22

    im used to this self aggrandishment my boyfriend calls himself 'the chosen one"
    i kicked him out he wont stop photoshopping ..4 months and counting…photoshopped for 24hrs a day. I said GET A JOB HE SAID im the chosen one . now hes the chosen one ELSEWHERE..

    charlie seems very high on confidance and so he should be hes a very up there guy but pride is one of the deadly sins so ive heard and always comes before a fall charlies set up a new language so probably if he does trip falls all the way straight into hell itself without getting 200 to pass go

    PERSONALLY I LIKE THE BI-WINNING they should use that in coaching manuals
    instead of a winner ur a bi winner

    and also a bi loser.. lol



  23. 23

    Charlie Sheen = Proving how gullible and stupid Americans are since 011.