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Therapy With Perez

| Filed under: Therapy With Perez

It's been a while since we made a "Therapy With Perez" video, and we've been doing a lot of thinking lately about some issues we could all relate to: dating, love and acceptance.

Check out our thoughts (above).

We'd love to hear what YOU think! Leave us a comment! Perez will be checking them and responding!

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92 comments to “Therapy With Perez”

  1. buck says – reply to this


    finally Hilton is understanding the truth that therapy can help cure homosexuality

  2. 2


  3. says – reply to this


    Re: buck – Funny!

  4. 4

    Oh my! Your voice grates, it's your worst trait and your affectation while you speak it's utterly annoying. By the way, it's pronounced "imporTant" not "imporant"!

  5. says – reply to this


    Re: PowerfulNiolani – My voice ain't changing, so unless you're a masochist I'd advise you to never watch my videos again. Easy peasy! x

  6. 6

    Maybe it's time you stopped making videos to whine about not having a boyfriend and how hard it is being you. Shame you have to "lower" your standards and "settle" for someone less than perfect. It's no wonder you're having trouble finding someone when you come off as such a pompous condescending asshole. Just fixing the wrapping on the package isn't always the answer. Try working harder on what's inside.

  7. 7

    I just want to say thak you. Its good to know someone else out there is going through the same things. Its been a journey to accept the fact that maybe the person I'm to be with is still somewhere down the line or even maybe just me! But I think its powerful stuff and is rarely looked at or discussed in the gay community.

  8. 8

    Could you please let us know your credentials for giving any kind of therapy?
    I am not sure utilizing adam4adam for random dates is good enough for dating credentials, or do you think it is?
    I am curious, how many people have you had a relationship with beyond sex? How many relationships have you had that were monogamous?

  9. 9

    Don't be too jealous of the lesbians, Perez. Girls can be crazy and two girls in a relationship can get even crazier! The term "dyke drama" exists for a reason.

  10. 10

    First, how about not continuing to push YOUR beliefs of homosexuality to the public. You people wanna be gay, be it. I dont agree with it and so do plenty of other people who truly believe in the word of GOD. Gay marriage shouldnt be legal because it is WRONG. Period. Put THAT in your pipe and smoke it.

  11. 11

    I think you have done a lot to improve yourself. I guess that's all I really got to say.

  12. 12

    I think people tend to use laundry lists when they're looking for a relationship and miss out on potentially great spouses/life partners (e.g., too short, too old, too young, doesn't have a high-enough paying job, etc.). There's a lot of truth to it'll happen when it'll happen and you're open to it, even though we want it to happen NOW. Having a much younger spouse has been the greatest joy of my life. I'm so glad I was in the right time and place to meet my soul mate. And, Perez: I do believe that you are where you are in your career due to hard work and you deserve happiness in all aspects of your life.

  13. 13

    hey perez….I think it is great that you've decided to go to therapy. I do as well, just because it is good to sometimes talk to someone that is objective.
    you have become a better version of yourself Perez, i really think it shows! love will come your way…be patient! ;)

  14. says – reply to this


    Re: Poetic Justice – You obviously missed the whole point or didn't watch my video. 1) I don't settle. 2) I said there is NO perfection. 3) I said this is difficult for EVERYONE. 4) I am working on things.


  15. 15

    I really, really do not agree with that old wive's tale about women being 'less visual than men'. I think women are socialized to be more accepting of men, because shallowness is seen as such a terrible thing for young girls to be in our society, while men are encouraged to be very visual and opinionated about female appearance. Just look at stories like beauty and the beast where it's always the girl who has to 'look for the inner beauty'.
    But if women aren't visual why would they be so good at fashion, makeup and manipulating their own image? The advertising industry KNOWS how sensitive women are visually. That's WHY the beauty industry is so affective at making women feel inadequate about their looks. Women are socialized to look at themselves first and foremost, and to see themselves through the eyes of 'men' to gain approval, but they are not fundamentaly less visually stimulated, they just don't say so.

  16. 16

    I can't imagine what it would be like to be someone in the public eye and to be looking for a relationship. Dating is hard enough, but I'm sure it is infinitely more difficult when people already have preconceived notions of who you are. I don't think you have to completely accept yourself or be free from low self esteem before you can be with someone, in fact, finding someone who does care for you for who you are often helps you to realize that you DON'T have to be perfect to be worthy of love and trust. I say good luck on your search, Perez. I think some people forget that you are a human being, and like everyone else you get lonely.

  17. says – reply to this


    Re: NatNikki – Don't burst my lesbian bubble! Ha

  18. 18

    Good for you Perez. It's not easy to put yourself out there like this but I'm sure you are helping a lot of people out there who are feeling alone as well. It's better to love yourself than to settle for unhealthy relationships. Good luck with therapy!

  19. 19

    Why don't you do a video with Kobe, Mario? I'm being serious. You both can talk about how lame it is using the f word and how you regret it. I had never heard the word "dyk0n" until I saw it on your site. Some of that makes me sad. And I'm a Republican, Mario.

  20. 20

    I know someone who needs to listen to this video. I love you mention You need to be healthy to attract someone healthy. Also you mention control! so true. control always destroys a relationship. Yes, we all need therapy when it comes to relationships. Great video and advise. xoxoxo

  21. 21

    You make good points! You have to look beyond what you first see in someone - its easy to find reasons to reject someone right off the bat, but most of the time if you wait, you'll find their worth a lot more than their flaws. And accepting that they have flaws doesn't mean that they aren't perfect or even that you're settling, it just means that you are wising up as to what makes people wonderful and unique!
    Good luck with the therapy - I imagine being famous probably does make dating harder.
    ps. Although I enjoyed the video, I found the title "Therapy with Perez" slightly off-putting as that's not really what it was… it should be titled "Perez's two cents on dating" or something to that effect. Just a thought!
    Again, good luck with everything! :)

  22. 22

    Re: mattyvoyager – I totally agree, I get so tired of coming here to read CELEBRITY news and see Perez trying to pass himself off as a celebrity and post things on himself or mom or dog, we dont care!!!

  23. 23

    Re: buckI hope your (future) child turns out gay. :)

  24. 24

    It is a difficult process to take a hard look at who you are and what you want/bring in a relationship. It's good to see that you are finding value in these things- for better or worse people seem to listen to what you say and I for one am really pleased at the clear efforts you have been making to be a better, more reflective person. It's not easy for anyone regardless of their background or sexual preference and it was refreshing to hear you talk about that. Best of luck on your journey Perez.

  25. 25

    perez, i think you're amazing! i loved this video! it's not easy to be vulnerable on camera, but it inspires SO many people. i love the support you give out (i'm especially loving the vibes you're sending demi lovato's way lately). it's easy for people to hate but you're filling your life with so much positive energy right now that you're the one whose better off no matter what mistakes you may make. i love you perez, keep putting yourself out there and laugh at your weaknesses! we all have them.

  26. 26

    Hard Work? You steal other photographer's work then post it without giving them credit..

  27. 27

    Perez I know what you mean about dating it is hell I'm a straight woman & I have given up on dating I HATE dating so I'm NOT dating anyone & I'm not looking but I don't mind being friends with guys. Good luck on the dating & the therapy but I really don't think you need therapy.

  28. 28

    Hard Work? You steal photos then post them on your website without giving them the photographer's the credit they deserve..

  29. 29

    Hello Perez!!

    I wish that I can see your video, but im at work and dont have access to media. But anyway I think the gay population needs more shows, more people that can give advice to the younger gays who are beginning to accept who they are. I was on the "down low" when i was younger and im tellin you if I had sumone who was older showing me a wiser path to take when it comes to choses and bein gay, life would be so much easier. I was in a 5 year relationship that was kept a secret with my best friend. Imagine being in love with sumbody and not telling a soul that you guys are together. he was in the closet, we had no gay friends, it was just US. all the secrecy deterioted the relationship, bcz if sumone would start to suspect, we would start stressing out turning into an argument. The love was there, just the wrong time and place. My dream is for everyone to accept people for who u r. It can save lives. he will always have a place in my heart, i jsut wish it had a different ending :(

    Being gay has just filled my life up with alot of sadness. i cant remember ONCE being happy. just to much drama, frustration. whats the point?

  30. 30

    Re: Eldridge Cleaver – He will never do a video with Kobe or bash him for his comments because he would then be a hypocrite to the core..

  31. 31

    Love your insight! I've enjoyed growing with you over the years. :)

  32. says – reply to this


    Re: Kuka Ortiz – Gracias, tia Kuka! x

  33. says – reply to this


    Re: FWAH1977 – HUGS!

  34. says – reply to this


    Re: 20thCentury_Fox – VERY wise words!

  35. says – reply to this


    Re: whattheworldneedsnow – Thank you so much!

  36. 36

    Acceptance is key, not only in relationships, but also with yourself. You need to be content with who you are as a person. I believe that you should be in a relationship because you want to and you feel it adds something to your life. Not because you need to or because you are afraid to be alone.

  37. says – reply to this


    Re: sms1221 – Awww! This means so much to me!

  38. says – reply to this


    Re: TwinSusan – It's a journey! Glad we're on it together!

  39. 39

    Perez! i love you, thanks for this. stupid haters!

  40. 40

    I didn't watch the video because I wanted you to actually READ my comment to you:

    I don't like it when you complain about people not accpeting homosexuality. Not everyone is going to share your opinion.

    Other groups of people are HATED besides homosexuals and yet you fail to report on that. Like when Victoria Jackson spewed her hatred against homosexuals and the show Glee - she spewed her hate against the Muslims too but you FAILED to comment on that. Disgraceful.

    I don't like it when singers fall on stage you make fun of them but Lady Gaga is a trooper when it happened to her.

    You're still a bully - nothing has changed about you.

    When was the last time a celebrity followed through with their punishments? Chris Brown is someone you constantly bitch at and yet he paid the price for his actions.

    Those are the things that bother me about you and I hope you really take a long look at yourself and realize the mistakes you're making.

  41. 41

    I am straight and have been married 11 years. The first half wasn't easy. SO much compromise. The last few years have been much better. We know each other better. It took TIME. YOU are famous and just as famous as any celebrity so it will be VERY difficult. You never will know someone's motives. That's why so many celebrities seek other celebrities because they understand one another. In the end tho it's the ego that gets in their way so that usually doesn't work either. 'Perfection' takes time is what I want to say. Perfection comes with understanding one another's differences. Don't ever go by looks alone. I think people go way wrong with that. Think about how a blind person falls in love. It's what's INSIDE that counts, truly.

  42. 42

    Very powerful Perez. You really make so much sense. It's like chatting with a friend! I love how you related taking care of yourself and taking care of your relationship. It really is a "if you can't love yourself, how can you love someonelse" thing. I wish you all the best in love and life. And…you look HAWT!!!

  43. 43

    I really hope in your real life you don't waste your time chasing guys who aren't even gay, like Zac Efron.

  44. 44

    Re: Suspicious Package – He probably won't reply to this comment. Looks like he's only commenting on the 'positive' ones. You're right though. I couldn't agree with you more. Gays aren't the only one suffering out there. And if you want gays to be accepted, then don't shove it down our throats. Perez freaks when you even mention the word 'gay' in any story. That just makes it look like gays are way too sensitive. I mean, I understand that slurs are horrible but not EVERY little thing should be taken as it's being used against the gays. I love the gays. I've met many and they are no different from anyone else.

  45. 45

    ty for that perez tho that part "for gay dudes is harder" i kinda disagree im straight but i have a lot of gay friends and its the same you just have to know the right places , then again i live in Europe :p by the way dear perez can u make a video about betrayal like how to deal with it (move on, take some time,keep fighting, people change/people dont change) i want to know your view on that subject

  46. 46

    Perez, I think you need an attitude adjustment. You need to learn to accept who you are. You need to broaden your personal field of interest away from the physical self-needs\wants into a higher level, away from your libido. If I were seeking a partner, I really wouldn't consider you. You are too much of a mama's boy, you like to be flamboyant in order to draw attention to yourself, you don't own your own home and you are immature. What did you give GaGa for her birthday? She gave you a pink scooter. It's not all about Perez 24\7.

  47. 47

    Well said and good luck!

  48. 48

    For the past month, I've been unable to view any vids on your site, so admit I couldn't watch this one either. My words to you are sincere.

  49. says – reply to this


    Re: CalebCountry – Thank you!

  50. 50

    Perez, you are AMAZING! I love you so much and have for years! It is so impressive and humble how you have evolved and continue to do so everyday. Don't let anyone ever make you feel less than what you are! You're on the right track, baby! XX

  51. 51

    What is up with all these haterz? Perez isn't whining on about not having a boyfriend, all he's doing is facing facts and trying to make a difference and see things in new lights, hence the word THERAPY. I'm sure a lot of people complain about relationships and why they're single. It's HIS website so he can post whatever he likes on his OWN website. If you dislike him so much then why do yo

  52. 52

    Boy! the overwhelming stench of SHIT is nauseating. Ass kissers!

  53. 53

    It suciks. Do us all a favor… don't make another. You're insincere, annoying, self-absorbed and just really…. absurd!

  54. 54

    Oh boy….its obvious the "aliases" are here in full-force. So transparent. So pathetic. So how many user-names do you have on your own site?

  55. 55

    hey mario,

    i totally feel what u're going thru right now. i am on the same path right now as well.
    i'm finding that u have to be your own best friend. dating in nyc is super hard bc men have so many options. i'm realizing i have to be okay with being single and if it happens, it happens. u can't force it.

    i must warn u, however, that there may come a time when u really fall for a guy who doesn't return the feeling and it is the worst feeling on earth. so until that happens, u shld still consider urself lucky.


  56. 56

    Re: SW33tS3R3NITY27
    Aliases. Notice how when he doesn't comment on his posts the comments are…well, you know. But oddly, he comments on this threa and out of the blue he has all these admirers. Yeah…sure.

  57. 57

    hey, perez, you've come a long way from just drawing semen on people's faces! i am glad you're getting healthy and putting yourself out there. i really enjoy reading your site more now that you aren't so mean to people. and you are looking good! keep being you and love will come your way! just ignore ignorant homophobic people. they probably think being black is a choice too.

    ps now please show more acceptance toward non-monogamous lifestyles. xx

  58. 58

    "Dont Look for Mr. Right.. Look for Mr. Right now, then maybe in time the 'now part' will just fall off"

    Good Luck :) There IS someone out there for everyone.

  59. 59

    good grief. perez handing out advice, therapy? that's like Charlie Sheen offering out advice on how to be monogamous.

  60. 60

    Here are my thoughts Perez. Dating is hard, I agree, and at the end of the day I find that acceptance is the biggest issue. When feeling insecure about myself in a dating situation I just have to take a step back and tell myself that this guy is beyond lucky to even be going out with me. I could date anyone I want (as could you Perez) and he should be happy to be with me in whatever context I choose to be with him in.

    As well, I don’t believe in “the one” either. I do, however, believe in compatibility. I think it’s hard to find someone who really “gets” you. I have to believe that there are at least a few people out there who are compatible with me and that one day I might find one of these people. All I can do is have faith that I am a good person and that if I continue to be kind and open to new experiences that one day he’ll come along and all of this dating pain will be worth it.

    Thank you for your thoughts Perez, it’s really brave of you to speak so candidly.

  61. 61

    When you talk, you move like a person who has CP. It's completely unnecessary. It screams insecurity. No one should listen to you and expect to hear anything more that "Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit" — and BTW — you work your butt off? LMAO. You sit at home in bunny slippers, cutting and pasting other journalists work, who worked their butts off in college getting degrees to study how to properly construct sentences and stories. You don't even know the english language well enough to write a paper that would pass a 5th grade class. You, sir, are a FRAUD and any relationship you would attempt to have would have to be the same, since you are not a complete human being on any level. You don't live in the real world and until you do — until you get a real job with real responsibilities, you won't know what the real world is about. You lack respect because you won't give respect. And I don't see that changing any time soon. So keep on renting those boy toys in the park, baby. It's the only touch that will come near a creep like you

  62. 62

    you hit the nail on the head with the "heavy lifting". my beloved H always uses that phrase, and you are BOTH right.
    one thing i know from personal experience, no, 2 things i know, 1) don't ever ever change yourself to please your partner!!!!! never, ever ever!!! 2) think/look outside the "type" box. i prefer dark haired men (think Depp, Bandras here….) and i married my beloved H, a blonde blue eyed man. still attacted physically, fer sure, but not my usual "type!"
    love is a very hard road, so it really truly does take 2 to do the heavy lifting. so, not really for the faint of heart, so too speak……
    good luck with your search, of both your heart and soul.
    xoxo. L

  63. 63

    Re: Paulie – I find it hilarious! LMAO, hey guys, while your up there, find Zacqeisha's d*i* ck!

  64. 64

    Another gay hat baldy?

  65. 65

    Seems like Perez is only responding to the positive comments and yet my comment goes unnoticed by him.

    Seriously, I wanna know why you freak when Victoria Jackson slams the gays but not when she said hateful things about Muslims?

  66. 66

    nice video i liked it you should do more perez.

  67. 67

    Perez, relationships actually are NOT hard work. Not if you're with the right person. Only when you're with the wrong person does it become as exhausting as you make it sound. When you're with the right person and when both parties are mature and emotionally stable and compatible in the areas that count then everything just flows. There isn't high drama, fighting, and all sorts of work involved. Anybody who says relationships are difficult doesn't know what they're talking about. I kind of feel sorry for them because it means that they haven't yet met a mature, emotionally stable and compatible person, and/or it means that they themselves haven't yet reached that place.

  68. 68

    Okay. First off. You know that at least one reader is very, very proud of you. You know that for me it's been a journey with you. And this is part of that journey. I emailed you a while back about this subject actually when I came up with the idea for a dating show. you know, like maybe one on Logo like Calpernia did. I think its important for who ever you do date to get to know Mario. Perez is cool and all, but like Victoria Beckham said. Posh Spice is her job. Perez is yours. I'm honestly very proud that you post videos like this because I think it shows me, and other readers who read your blog who MARIO is.

  69. 69

    Heck. I don't even think half these bitches know that's your name. The last part really struck home with me on a personal chord. I'm so far from perfect, and as you know the gay scene has so many subgroups that if you're one thing you can't be another, and there is SO MUCH pressure for gay men to look a certain way or be a certain way. Its been almost 26 years and I'm still waiting to find a guy who thinks I'm beautiful on the outside. Physical attraction rules gay male's choices to date. It makes me sad sometimes cause there are people who shouldn't be in relationships in them, and then there are people like me who have so much to offer one, but rarely ever get the chance to be in one.

    Keep posting videos like this. I like them. Tweet me back once in a while MEANIE. LOL. and let me know if you do that dating show. I wanna be the first one to sign up. I might lose in the long run but it would be totally worth it to get to know you. :-) and potentially make out in a hot tub. WOOHOO!! Haha.


  70. 70


  71. 71

    Thank you for this video! :)

  72. 72

    No one wants to hear you talk about three topics you'll never have in your life you miserable flop blogger.

  73. 73

    Nobody cares what you have to say about anything. Shut the fuck up you damn horse-toothed butt pirate!

  74. 74

    Perez had therapy two years ago courtesy of Will.I.Am obviously it didn't help, maybe next time.. :)

  75. 75

    Re: Suspicious Package – I think we all know the reason he won't respond to your comment. He is 100% biased towards issues of homosexuality. If it doesn't involve being gay, he isn't interested. He preaches equality but demonstrates inequality with his words.

  76. 76

    It took me a long ass time to love myself and my life before I could love anyone else. I finally found the one and I'm super happy, hope you find the one too soon Perez :)

  77. 77

    while your posts have been a lot nicer and you have stopped a lot of the outright bullying they have turned out to be quite judgmental in some cases, taking the higher ground and picturing yourself on the higher ground are two different things. you shouldn't bully or judge and it doesn't always have to be one or the other, and you clearly favour some celebrities, just because they are your "friends" and respect you doesn't mean that they can do no wrong. kick the judgment from the news and your site will be a lot less frustrating to read

  78. 78

    Perez! It will take time before people really see you differently. You've been on the positive side for only a few months now. You will find someone! You have really great qualities! You are funny, ambitious, and caring :)
    ALSO…. You obviously need to come back to Miami and date here! Its a GAYFEST! The Gay Pride Festival is on Saturday. I'll hook you up with someone ;)

  79. Nat<3 says – reply to this


    LOVE you Perez!!!!

  80. 80

    w0 what a hyprocrite in the messages and what do you know about therapy.

  81. 81

    My name is Marco I understand exactly what your talking about your a very sweet compassionate man and I really wish you the best to find what your heart is needing. Your beautiful and I love your eyes, beautiful eyes. I love the fact you take care of your mother, something me and others had patience to do. If someone doesn't see that then oh well life goes on I promise God will bless you with someone to love baby, God Bless You Man!!!!!!!!!

  82. 82

    awwwwwwwwe, Doctor Bee says enter relationships for an eye into what you can put into them and never what you can get out of them. In other words, be a whole full person that doesn't really *need* someone else and you'll do fine. The whole game of asking a million questions to someone once you meet them (aka dating) is indicitive of all the things people require and need. Give yourself everything you need and require nothing from anyone else. Oh and leave them if they are mean or critical. Take Care Love……………………..xoxo

  83. 83

    Thanks Perez, I needed that! But there is no way straight girls have it easier! LOL : )

    P.S. whip your hair at the haters!

  84. 84

    you look like you'd have very smelly farts

  85. 85

    Hello Perez! This is the first of your therapies I see so I’m anxious to comment, here it goes!
    First of all, I have to be honest, I couldn’t help noticing you’ve gained some weight (maybe the close you’re wearing, but this comes from ME and overweighed girl who is having some Empanadas for dinner so  ). After I noticed you’re still somehow yearning to have this amazing love/relationship experience to have an impact on your life (remember this is my opinion) and that is completely normal and it’s great because it shows how much of a human there is behind all this arguments and ideas of yours. I totally agree with “acceptance”, to accept you as a wonderful person without being perfect and applying these to those you are or might be interested in. I could spend days, if not weeks, talking about this because there is some wisdom in all of us, when it comes to love and relationships we all have something to say. I love this new you (old you was very funny though) and from my old laptop a side my empanadas lol, I wish you the best. Just created my nickname (because I couldn’t refuse to comment) so you’ll be hearing a lot from me. Muah!

  86. 86

    Who's looking for a boyfriend? Perez or Mario?

  87. 87

    Believe me Perez, it's not easier for woman either. Keep your head up. When the right one comes along, you will know it. I am saying that to myself, too. You have to have thick skin especially with online dating. Like RuPaul says, Love yourself and if you can't love yourself, how and the hell are you going to love someone else?! Amen!! Love the therapy talk..:))

  88. 88

    I love this new direction you're taking, to try new things on your website and to post and blog about things outside of the celebrity hollywood world. I enjoy reading it because it is YOUR website, and it truly feels like it's being run by a human being with real feelings and opinions and not a team of people who are trying to get as many view counts as they can. That is why i prefer to read this blog over others, because you speak about the things that YOU are most interested in and feel the most powerfully toward, after all it is impossible to discuss and acknowledge EVERYTHING. I love it, and i look forward to reading/watching more !

  89. 89

    Omg i totally agree with you! It's so difficult to find someone especially as a gay male. But sadly gay men tend to be very superficial and very cold towards each other about looks, etc…which at times can cause someone low self esteem (atleast from my experience). I got tired of trying to find that special someone or expect more if i go on a date. I figured, when it's meant to happen… it will kindly effin happen. But anyways, i think someone as handsome as you will find someone worthy when it's meant to happen. Btw loving the hat. :)

  90. 90

    aww ur so cute! i wish i could find u a bf, ive got the PERFECT match for you, too bad he's in warsaw/sydney ;[ u seem lonely…cheer up, you'll find 'im ;)

  91. 91

    This definately helped me. good luck to you perez xoxo and p.s Its not an easier to be a woman and be dating because we're still dealing with the same thing you're dealing with…. MEN!

  92. 92

    Dear Perez, Just remember to stay strong and how fabulous you are :) & I wish you the best