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Attn. Suave, Sophisticated Men! New Channel Launching Just For You, By Discovery!

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They'll be no Housewives on this network. No hoarding or massive multiples of children. This new channel is designed for the "upscale" gent in your life, so rip him away from his pipe and slippers so he can read all about it.

Discovery Network has decided to pull their channel HD Theater and replace it with Velocity, a "game changer" network "devoted to the upscale men’s market." Programming will consist of shows entirely in HD and centered around things like cars, sports, travel, and adventure. Robert S. Scanlon, the new SVP of Velocity, explained through a glass of brandy:

“In the same way that a car once defined the person who drove it, Velocity will define the viewer who watches it. Whether you are a car aficionado or just someone who prefers fast-paced, high-stakes television, Velocity will become a must-have entertainment destination.”

So far, the only shows secured from the network from its predecessor are the automotive series Inside West Coast Customs and Chasing Classic Cars, which until this very moment, we had no idea existed and we'll probably never talk about either of them ever again.

We can tell they are really excited about this and we're interested to see how well it will fare against other networks. In other words, who will win out: networks geared to men or ones geared to women?

The battle of the sexes finds a new venue!

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