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Should Parents Allow Teenagers To Have Sex At Home?

| Filed under: Elisabeth Hasselbeck

We hope you're logged in and ready to comment because we have a feeling this will get a lot of people talking!

The View's Elisabeth Hasselbeck ventured into VERY debatable territory with her most recent story for ABC's Good Morning America, in which she explored the question, "Should parents ALLOW their teenagers to have sex in their home?"

She interviewed a group of parents, as well as a group of teenagers between the ages 15 and 19, and those in favor or against the idea may surprise you!

Check out the video above, which explores the idea of allowing children to practice safe sex at home as opposed to secret sex with secret people elsewhere, and weigh in on the debate below!

Would U allow your teenagers to engage in sexual activity with their significant others behind closed doors in your house?

Conversely, did U grow up or currently live in a house where parents allow (or at least don't try to stop) sex? Also, would U even WANT to have sex anywhere NEAR your parents? LOLz!

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64 comments to “Should Parents Allow Teenagers To Have Sex At Home?”



  1. 1

    Frankly, as a teenager (hell, even as an adult) I would've felt very uncomfortable to have sex with my parents around. If they're not around - i.e. not in the house - they wouldn't know I was having sex there, would they? Still, as far as official permission goes - OF COURSE! Better do it on your own territory than in some scummy, flea-infested motel. People need to open their eyes and face reality - teenagers have sex. Teenagers smole. Teenagers drink alcohol.Period. Pretending that they don't and burying your head in the sand doesn't help anyone - it's best that this stuff happens under your supervision than behind your back. You children's safety is far more important than your shame! If it's not, then you're not fit to be parents to begin with.



  2. 2

    I think it's probably really awkward to have sex at home and that your parents know you're going to have sex, but overall it is safer. If they go somewhere else, there could be access to alcohol and drugs and maybe no condoms. At least if it's sort of monitored and the teens are of age and they have protection then there's really no problem.



  3. 3

    Does your Momma allow you and Teddy to get it on in her home?



  4. 4

    That just seems so inappropriate.
    And what teenagers would actually want to have sex with their parents in the other room? It just seems so creepy. Also, if there are younger kids at the house and can hear them.
    I can understand educating your kids about safe sex and talk to them in a mature way about waiting until they are older. I know that many are still going to do it anyways but giving your kids a free pass to have sex seems weird to me.



  5. 5

    WHY IS THE WORLD EVEN HAVING THIS DISCUSSION. KIDS WANT LIMITATIONS IF AS ADULTS WE CANT SAY SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS NO SEX UNTIL YOU GROW UP, WE MAY AS WELL GIVE UP NOW. NEVER MIND IF WE DONT ALLOW IT THEY WILL DO IT ANYWAY. MAKE THE CONSEQUENCES FIT THE CRIME. NO BENEFITS, NO EDUCATION, GO TO A WORK HOUSE AND EARN THE CASH TO SUPPORT YOUR BASTARD! WTF IS GOING ON WITH THE WORLD,



  6. 6

    I have a 17 year old daughter who is dating. And if she wants to have sex she can do so at home!! I can tell her she can't have sex but she is a teenager so she'll probebly do the opposite. I believe teenagers need the feeling you trust them to make the right choice. And the upside of giving trust is getting trust because they talk more even about being not ready to have sex.



  7. 7

    I don't think I would allow it. I also think it fully depends on the type of relationship you have with your child. I do not believe that 'all teenagers have sex' bullshit that people throw out there as a reason why you should allow it. I certainly did not have sex in high school, and it was actually not something that people bragged about or was all that common. (I went to public school). But if you are a parents who has an open relationship with your children and are able to talk about everything you should be able to discuss sex when your child thinks they are ready. It is the families with closed relationships about sex that have issues and where kids end up in sleazy motels.



  8. 8

    Re: Sick_girl – i agree. parents should be educating their kids to make the right decisions and think about their actions and consequences. when you tell them it's ok to have sex or drink or do drugs in your house, you're not teaching them responsibility or safety, you're just watching so you can jump in and then they don't learn anything and still so much can go wrong. no one is saying to ignore that kids do these things but advocating for it isn't the right thing either. arming them with knowledge and letting them make their own choices, i personally feel, is the right thing.

    besides what person would call their mom in if something goes wrong during sex? "hey mom, my condom broke just as i was about to come, can you grab me another really quick?" or would it be something like "dad, we're trying to try this new position but can't really get it, can you tell us what we're doing wrong?" like what help could you need during sex that you're going to go to your parents for?



  9. 9

    I don't date at the moment, but I know so many others that do and it's quite shocking what's going on there.
    Because some parents don't want their kids to sleep over at the boyfriends house and neither allow the boyfriend to stay over night, many many many of my friends end up having sex at parties or a friends house. Personally, I'd rather do it at home, than like THAT and I would also allow my kids to do so when time has come (if the two are dating long enough and are old enough - NOT under 16, most likely even later).
    Teenagers DO have sex, it's the hormones and stuff and it's so naive of parents to think this stuff doesn't happen if they don't allow it.



  10. 10

    OH, HELL, NO!!!!! It seems logical to me that what a child is allowed to practice at home will ultimately manifest its self 100x out of the purview of the parents. This is such a CRAZY



  11. 11

    NO,NO, NO!!! Yes, I educated my daughter about sexual education, and actually she is on birth control for another reason (cysts) and yes, I remember being a teen, and YES, I know she is not a virgin unfortunately. I believe it is all a matter of RESPECT for your parents and I do not want her to have it here at home. (besides, she and her scum BF broke up, thankfully). And the way her room looks, they would get lost in there anyway. I also think when you let your children have sex at home, it might lead some to be more sexually active then they would have been. Let them have to go off and wait for adults to be out, and sneak around, at least for daughters, you don't want them to get a repuation and with TEXTING AND FB, it is just SO EASY. just saying.



  12. 12

    I'm from Belgium and I must say i am completely against girls my age (19) having multiple partners. I think that's slutty. On a different note, my dad is very strict and was strict when it came to me and my sister (now 23). She still lives home because it is not common here to move out at the age of 18. Like I said, I am 19 and me and my boyfriend have been together 5 years. First he wasn't allowed to come in, then in the garage, the hallway and all these little steps. But when i was 17, my boyfriend was finally allowed to sleep over. And that is normal here, to have your boyfriend sleep over or you going to your boyfriend. And if you decide to have sex, that is your decision. I am on birth control, very responsible, a long relationship and I was ready. Should I wait till I get married? I don't think so, and for the record, religion is not so strong here then in America. Most of the churces are empty on sunday. And it would be weird if my sister, who is 23, wasn't allowed to have sex with her boyfriend ( my dad only allowes it if your in a longterm relationship)!



  13. 13

    Re: Samtra – i went to public school and it was actually that most people waited. i went to private school for my senior year and it was considered weird if you hadnt had sex by the age of 16. my daughter is now 16 and shes at public school and she says that if you havnt had sex by the age of 16 then you are weird so times have changed and i do beileve that most teenagers have sex. i think it would be safer for a teenager to have sex in the family home however i prefer it if they do it when no ones home. or they can be discreet. its the same as when the parents want to have sex . they just be quiet or wait until everyones out. i think its embarrassing for teenagers and there parents for the teenagers to have sex within earshot of the parents or siblings so i say you can do it but just be discreet.



  14. 14

    I think it's kind of inappropriate… Obviously if teens wants to have sex, they will, but if I had a teen, I won't allow it in my house. And I don't think having sex somewhere else than at home encourages teens to have unsafe sex or to change partner. And quite frankly, as a teen and even now as an adult, I would never do it in my parent's house! I mean how awkward will it be! My father sleeps in the bedroom in front of mine and my sister is in the room beside mine so it's a big no no!! I think it's a good thing to educate and encourage teens to practice safe sex but allowing them to do it at home, I'm not sure about that…



  15. 15

    I don't understand why this subject is discussed? Maybe it's just where I come from. We would never talk or have a public interview about it. I get the parents that allow their teen to have sex in their home but why do they need permission? It's absurd. I don't "allow" my parents to have sex in their bedroom. It's a natural thing, why make a big deal out of it.



  16. 16

    patty is just part of the epidemic of trashy parents that have infected our new society. Parents these days are actually trashier than their kids. this is disgusting.



  17. 17

    Re: RisingSun902 – As a teenager, your comment was well thought out and a very good point of view. Thanks for sharing.



  18. 18

    There is absolutely no chance I would allow my teenage children to have sex in my house. I have problems letting my 27 year old daughter and her fiance stay in the same room when they come to visit.



  19. 19

    don't delude yourself, kids WILL have sex even if you tell them not to. my daughter is 18 and she says she's NOT sexually active. I've had her on the depo shot (birth control) since she was 15…..i told her that it only takes one bad decision to mess up the rest of your life, and i can't control if she has sex or not, but i CAN control whether or not she gets pregnant, especially while she lives with me. Can she have sex in my house? I don't care, i would perfer not to be home tho :/



  20. 20

    i personally believe that teens bewteen 15 and 19 are old enough to decide whether or not they want to have sex. and being teenagers they're not going to listen if the parents tell them not to anyway.



  21. 21

    We should all have the opportunity to have sex with Elisabeth Hasselbeck at home



  22. 22

    I miss the days when you would call her Elisabitch.



  23. 23

    The only way to make it truly "OK" would be if both sets of parents were in on it. And thats just creepy. Real creepy.



  24. 24

    I'm almost 18 and i know i would feel very uncomfortable having sex with my parents in the house and them knowing what i was doing, but maybe thats just because of the relationship that i have with my parents.

    it comes down to if your not allowed to do something you're gonna want to do it even more!
    i know this is a different thing, but when i was 15 my parents were completely against me drinking when all my friends were doing it (rightly so i was 15!) so i stole a bottle of vodka from the house and on halloween i went down to a field with my friends and got so drunk i passed out and was left on the cold ground until a random woman found me, took my phone and called the home number. i was taken to hospital and they said that had i been lying on the ground for 20 more minutes i would have died of hypothermia!

    i don't think that would have happened if my parents let me drink when i was out with them or at a party.(drinking age here is 18 not 21) now they do let me drink once they know its safe.

    i guess what im trying to say is that teenagers are going to do stuff that you don't want them to do regardless of whether they have permission or not!!
    so why force them to do it the unsafe why at the risk of something bad happening to them!!!



  25. 25

    I'm from Denmark and here it would be considered weird if sexual active teenagers don't have sex at home. Today I'm 18 years old and have been active for about 3 years, my parents have known from the start, I had relationships and that they involved sex. Because of that I have always been able to talk with mother, if I had any worries. Some people writes they think it would be embarrassing to have sex at home. I don't see why? I think it would be more embarrasing to have sex some place else than home.



  26. 26

    When I was in highschool my boyfriend and I had sex in his room at his parents house. It was never weird because it was after his parents went to sleep and they never made a big deal out of it. I don't see what all the fuss is about. When my son is of age I will "allow" him to do the same, as long as I don't hear anything. I have sex in my room and afford him the same respect.



  27. 27

    I say it's fine as long as the rooms aren't close or on the same floor. That would be awkwaaaaaard as hell if you could hear your kid fcking



  28. 28

    These are the A-HOLES who give us Democrats a bad name.



  29. 29

    Parents are there for guidance, not to set strict boudaries and rules that will just end up being broken. The best decision my mom ever made was to have an open relationship with me, so that I could feel comfortable talking to her about sex. She never specifically said that I could have sex in my room, but she trusted my ability to make decisions for myself, and look at that - no pregnancy, no STDs and no fights with my parents :)



  30. 30

    Are parents so naive that they actually believe that by allowing their teenagers to have sex at home that is the only place it will be happening?? I completely think it's important to have open communication when it comes to sex and any other topic when it comes to teenagers BUT just because they are going to be doing things you don't approve of doesn't mean as parents we can't draw the line:

    To me it's all about RESPECT you might go off and do what ever the hell you want but NOT in my house! Besides as a parent where do you draw the line? Oh my child is going to be drinking…minus well do it at home, Oh my child is going to be doing drugs….minus well do it at home, oh my child is going to be having sex….minus well put a motel sign in front door.

    Problem is these parents are more worried about being their child's friends than they are about being a REAL parent.



  31. 31

    Saying that it's ok for you child to have sex is saying it's ok for them to get pregnant and contract/spread STDs. They should also be ok with their child being too busy caring for their baby to afford college or to even focus on highschool. Just because the world is telling you to "face reality, kids have sex" doesn't make it right. Parents should want better for their children.



  32. 32

    letting your teenager have sex in the house isn't going to prevent her from doing it elsewhere or from getting into drugs and alcohol. I am still rather young, but I am happy my parents didn't allow me to have sex, I did, but I don't have many partners at all and am always very safe about it and I think that is because of how I was raised. I know parents that allow their children to have sex at home and trust me they are a lot sluttier then anyone in my family. You just encourage it if you allow it



  33. 33

    and btw since my parents didn't let me have sex at home the only reason i was was at my boyfriends house cuz his parents didnt care. If his parents cared we would have to be really careful about finding a place to have sex, like some of my friends had to be, which makes you have less sex and makes you less promiscuous. This really shouldn't be a discussion, parents need to be parents and stop assuming the worse in their children, you are there to GUIDE them, so GUIDE THEM!A



  34. 34

    This is what is wrong with AMERICA today!!! Kids have absolutely no respect for their parents. Limitations and rules have to be set and kept. I'm all for trusting my children but there are certian things you just shouldn't do!!! DON'T HAVE SEX IN YOUR PARENTS HOUSE…should always be high up there on the list!!! I'm not walking around with blinders on…i know that if your child is determined to have sex they are going to do it but its our responsibility as parents to make sure that they wait until they are mature enough to make the right decision and educate enough so they know to be safe. Giving "free passes" with "no consequences" just allows kids to do as they want. You can be FRIENDLY with your kids SOMETIMES…but you have to be the PARENT 100% of the time! They have enough friends in their life…they look to parents for guidance!!!



  35. 35

    Allowing sex to manifest into a negative idea within a home can produce negative consequences. Lack of practical sex education
    I’m not aware of legislation in the United States, but within the last few years in Australia, a prescription is no longer needed to access emergency birth control (morning after pill). The majority of girls my age are unaware of this and would rather risk possible pregnancy than see a doctor- incorrectly believing it to be the only alternative. Worse yet, pregnancy is not the only damaging result.

    To me being sexually active does not constitute as being a 'slut'. A 'slut' is a person (male or female) who abuses sex with multiple partners, and practises that jeopardises the physical, emotional and psychological safety of both parties. For me allowing teenagers to have sex at home is modelled off a consensual, monogamous relationship, were both partners are fully aware of the implications and consequences of their actions. By no means am I promoting the idea allowing your son/daughter to bring home their weekly girlfriend/boyfriend. THAT is violating the sanctity of a home. Rather I wish to promote a safe environment where teens like myself are able to ask questions and gain a practical education without fear of judgement; and to me these ideals are upheld greatest in the controlled environment of a home.



  36. 36

    My older sister and I had a very open relationship with out parents. I remember my parents coming to us and saying if you think you are going to start having sex come to us and we'll put you on birth control. They didn't invite or encourage us to have sex in the house, but they took the approach that they know we were going to do it and they wanted us to to be as safe as possible and make the best choices for ourselves. We are now 26 and 27. I'm not married and have no kids but my sister has been married for three years and has an adorable one year old son. Neither of us ever had a pregnancy or health scare.

    Lets face it teenagers have sex. I don't think allowing them to have sex in the house promotes it. I think it may actually provide you with an inside view of what your child is actually doing. For all you know your kid could have different partners every night but if they have sex in your house I think that is less likely to happen. I'd think twice about having sex with a different partner everyday if I had to parade them past my parents… ackward! Also, I think parents might have an isssue with that.



  37. 37

    i know my mother allowed me to sleep with my boyfriend, in my room even for him to spend the night and i was only 16. Tho with so much trust she had on me i only lost my virginity when i was 18 . So to summon it up, YES parents should allow there childs to have sex on their houses (tho its a real boyfriend not a week budy ) better at home then in a creepy motel. sex/alcohol/drugs are part of the process of growing up, education and trust is the key , i know if my mother didnt alowed me to have sex with my boyfriend i would probably lost my virginity a long time agoo



  38. 38

    Once again I am completely baffled by the double morality in the US. A lot of people here claim to be responsible parents by denying their children the right to their own sexuality and at the same time seem to be entirely unaware of the empirical facts: teenage pregnancy in your country is a huge issue, especially compared to other industrialised countries.
    tbc



  39. 39

    Regarding the GMA segment, I was also appalled, that the teens felt that they needed excuses to say 'no' to sex. I think that the parents time should be invested in teaching their children about self confidence and their rights concerning their body and sexuality and thus enabling them to withstand the pressure to be sexually active if you don't feel ready to some extent.



  40. 40

    For me and my family I can say this: both my sister and my brother had sex at home and they are still not 'sluts' while I am still a virgin at 19 (by choice and not because I am 'too ugly or too fat' as some uneducated persons here might assume'). Making your kids comfortable to talk freely about sexuality is the first step for educating them in this issue and also supporting them in being a strong person on their own.



  41. 41

    Re: sassinassi

    Be a PARENT and tell her to keep her legs closed.



  42. 42

    There is no blanket answer to this. Its something that each individual family should discuss and decide themselves. There are pros and cons, age of the teenagers, how long they have been dating and how much sex education they have had. Not only that but its something you have to to check wit the parents of your childs girlfriend/boyfriend.



  43. 43

    The teens would have to step over my cold, hard dead body before I allowed that. No discussion. NONE. My house, my rules. No 15 year old should be having sex in the first place and thank heavens my children understood WHY and they waited.



  44. 44

    Sarah Palin….Bristol Palin. Todd Palin visits his whore (it's part of the family business), other times, he sleeps in his recliner. I suppose it's all fine if you already live in a dysfunctional family. How do we know this? Levi was living there.



  45. 45

    Teenagers need limitations and restrictions. My parents always told me that sex is something you do with one person who you love very much, and would be appalled if I came over and wanted to sleep in the same room as my boyfriend, even now, when I am 25. I respect my parents, and I would never do something that disrespectful. Its all about teaching teenagers values, and frankly, I find it appalling that these parents would encourage their young children to have sex. While you should have an open dialogue with your children about sex, and safe sex, I don't feel that encouraging it is beneficial for anyone. Interestingly, most of the teenagers who they interviewed were against it, which just goes to show that they really do want, and need these types of restrictions.



  46. 46

    how is having sex in your home going to stop your kids from having sex elsewhere? people have sex in cars, in public, at other houses, allowing them isnt going to make them only do it in the house i mean come on. It doesn't make sex safer to allow it. If someone is going to be safe with sex they will be safe, regardless if they are allowed or if they are not allowed, that is a personal decision that is based on values and education.



  47. 47

    When you try to control your kids you lose control. My daughter tells me everything we have a very open relationship. Her friends would always talk to me too because they couldn't talk to their parents.



  48. 48

    I'm a 21 year old married female. I got married at 19. I unfortunately lost my virginity at 14 years old.(After i immediately knew it was wrong and did nothing for a year after). I can't say the reason I lost my virginity was anything other then a girl in a broken home, broken family, poor social life, who was looking for affection. I had all the proper sexual education..Once i realized how stupid i was to think as a HS freshman a Senior Varsity Wrestler was interested in ME..Needless to say i steered away from all sexual contact for over a year. Cutting to the chase. Once i was 15 i started dating an 18 year old. Seems wrong but i did. Only after we had been dating a year and having to drive off to random places to have sex, did i try and have sex at home. I had no idea my mom knew until she cracked a joke about being able to hear me. I was so shocked and slightly embarrassed but at the same time i felt completely better. Knowing it was ok to have sex at home (on first floor family was on second), did it stop me from having to always drive and find some place in the woods to do it…I know personally being allowed to have sex at home ONLY with my LONG term boyfriend(lasted 3 years), it made me more calm, SAFER, and more relaxed. I knew i didnt have to sneak off and possibly be unsafe. I also didnt abuse the privilege either.



  49. 49

    Re: rocrmom94 – Having rules doesnt mean you can't have an open dialogue and open relationship with your child. All parents should talk to their kids about sex and educate them and not necessarily say you can never have sex, but encourage them to wait until they are older and until they are absolutely sure they are ready. By not encouraging it in the home or period doesn't mean that you have a closed off strict relationship with them. There is a balance.



  50. 50

    I just enjoy the cultural differences I see in the comments. So many Europeans aren't embarrassed and sex is such a natural thing. I love it! America is so hush-hush about so many things.



  51. 51

    Seriously? What is the motivation for a teenager to grow up and move out of the house. If they want to achieve orgasm in the comfort of a nice bed and have uncensored sex, let them use the money they EARNED from working a JOB to get a HOTEL room like any respectable teenager would have back in the day.



  52. 52

    Yeah, my parents would've beat both of our asses. No freaking way! What happened to parents actually being parents and denying their kids things? It seems like parents are scared of their children. Grow a pair and learn how to be a parent, not a friend!



  53. 53

    Re: MizLeyne – Exactly!!!! Why are people not talking about the fact a young girl cant just say they don't want to have sex with their boyfriend in their face and in all honesty!!!!That is so disturbing that girls can't defend the choice of not having sex. First of all, why would you make excuses like " My parents dont allow me to have sex", why don't you just say " i am not ready to have sex". Are they scared or what? Cause never be with a guy who you think would react unrespectfulf to your choice of not having sex. I find this 100000 more upsetting than the topic they are speaking about. Society should teach these girl that they can express their opinion and are not obligated to make excuses when they dont want to have sex!!!!



  54. 54

    Wow american are so conservative! I'm from Montreal Canada and here religion isn't a big thing, church are empty (they are turning them into lovely condo!) and we are pretty liberal in terms of sexuality. I think we are more like europeans on this matter than american or english canadian. I was allowed to have my boyfriend over after at least 1 year of relationship, no more than once a week when I turned 17. We had to be respectful of other in the house and use protection. My parents were always very open to me and my sister about sexuality. We knew there was condoms in the bathroom if we ever needed it and my mom put both of us on the pill when we were 15 and 16, even before we had boyfriend so that pregnancy wouldn't be an issue. All my friends were also allowed to have their steady boyfriend over and as opposed to the states, I never saw a single pregnant teenager in my life! No one in my high school ever got pregnant and most of us were in fact allowed to have boyfriends sleep over. It is normal here to start being sexually active (with the same steady partner) around the age of 15-16. 16 years old is actually the average age in Canada that teenagers starts having sex. Everyone knew about condoms and pills!



  55. 55

    Because my parents were so open minded and easy to talk to, I felt like they trusted me and I didn't want to disappoint them so I took my pill very seriously and always used condoms, just like all my friends. My parents always told me that they'd rather know with who I was having sex and where and me having sex in weird places with guys they never met. They both told me that they wish their parents had let them do the same and this is why they allowed me to do it. Of course, I had to be with the same boyfriend for at least a year before he was allowed to sleep over.



  56. 56

    I think some american are just in denial ! Why do you have so many pregnant teens ??? Because you are afraid to talk about it and inform your teens about the pills and condoms. Of course, they end up having sex and getting pregnant. Why are you so surprise? on shows like 16 & pregnant, teens seem surprise to be pregnant! How can you be if you didn't use any protection ?? How can parents of these young women just say : I never thought this would happen to my daughter… This is juste denying the real problem : Lack of communication!



  57. 57

    Whatever. Use a condom. Start FUCKING.



  58. 58

    Re: montrealcanada – Hey you Canadian weirdo, STFU with your novel. It sounds like you're parents wanted to be WAAAY involved in your sex life. Some freaky stuff going on in your household.



  59. 59

    if you raise your child correctly, then no, they aren't going to have sex anyway.
    i can say that first-hand because that's exactly what my parents did.



  60. 60

    Re: sony3918 – agreed, it's just disrespectful and as an adult if i went to go visit my parents, i sure wouldn't screw around while i was there either



  61. 61

    I live in Holland, and here if teens are in a serieus relationship, parents for the most part allow sleep overs! That means that they know their kids probably have sex in the room next to them. I was in a serieus relationship when I was 17, I even had sex when we stayed in my grandma's house over a holiday! who cares your parents have sex in the room next to you also! please people we live in 2011. I would prefer my kid having some kind of serieus relationship instead of sleaping around!



  62. 62

    I'm not sure how I feel about this; granted when I was in my teens I was having sex at my then boyfriend's house and his mom flipped out on us every single time. So we'd either have sex in a car or just wouldn't at all.
    p.s. that one girl who said "that's my only line of defense, how do you say no?" YOU SAY NO and stick with it if you're not ready!! If the guy you're with doesn't respect that, tell him to take a hike!



  63. 63


  64. 64

    So you interview four parents and you think it's a new trend… come on