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Lindsay Lohan Planning A 'Low-Key' Birthday

| Filed under: Icky Icky PooLindsay LohanLegal MattersDina Lohan


When it comes to Lindsay Lohan and her crazy effing life, there are two things we always know to be certain: that the hard-pAArtying actress will somehow screw herself over and get into legal trouble faster than you can say Just My Luck, and that one of her parents will most certainly be blabbing to the press as fast as they can find a camera and a microphone in which to speak into!

And yesterday, in light of her being released from her 35-day house arrest sentence, that parent is Dina!

The mom of the millennium has revealed that her completely rehabilitated daughter is NOT celebrating her 45th 25th birthday with an eight ball of blow and a long island iced tea at a beach party on the Hamptons, despite reports suggesting otherwise, and that instead, she'll be staying in El Lay!

She explains:

"She's staying in Los Angeles and planning a quiet birthday dinner. It will be very low key with family and close friends and tequila shots. And then she plans to return to her community service right away on Monday. Hopefully she'll get back to New York soon to celebrate with her grandmother, who's 85 and doesn't really like to fly. But there's no party in the Hamptons."

We're frightened to hear what their version of 'low-key' ACTUALLY is, but hey, we'll remain cautiously optimistic that she won't screw her latest, literal "Get Out Of Jail Free" pass this time around…until she inevitably does!

Fingers crossed for you, gurl!

[Image via WENN.]

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14 comments to “Lindsay Lohan Planning A 'Low-Key' Birthday”

  1. 1

    I have to agree with Perez on the 45th birthday. She does look 45 and sounds like it too. Wish there was a betting pool for a date that she is going to get herself into another pickle with the police. I would get into that bet. It won't be to far in the future that she will pull yet another scam or another incident in which sshe claims she's innocent.

  2. 2

    haha it's good to see the old perez back!! :D

  3. 3

    drugs have aged her horribly and have made her voice so raspy. Her career is over, she has damaged her reputation to much to ever get another movie role.

  4. 4

    She is to boring and ugly now,,,,,,,,,,Time for a new skanky vagina eating drug addict alky actress for tabloid entertainment………………..

  5. 5

    I ran into her one afternoon in Miami..she is really is a disgusting person.. she told me she practices witchcraft and has decapitated a couple goats at her Miami place and smeared the blood on her bedroom walls in some sort of fertility voodoo practice?! She said that she also blended the goats intestines to make some sort of fertility smoothie that she drinks hot while laying out by the pool. She even showed me a jar of her own excrement that she keeps in her purse that she smears on her face daily to stay youthful. I have to say she is most certainly the Devils spawn.

  6. 6

    Planning a low key birthday? Wow - maybe she finally grew some gray cells! (And yes, she does look like shes in her 40s - She and Nicole Kidman could be sisters)

  7. 7

    Hey Perez, I thought you stopped your bullying? Especially the captions you and the Perez Hilton Compound write on the photos. I hope future bloggers who, for whatever reason? choose to post your photo write: "Wanna Cheeseburger"? You are disgusting. Here you are singling out ONE celebrity, again! Lets observe the crazy rumors about gaga snorting cocaine. I've got a friend, whose a DJ in NYC whose worked with Gaga before she was the "it-thing" who said that was the bitch's diet. Lay off, you are jaded like the rest of Hollywood.

  8. 8

    Are there like five different writers on this website who all feel differently about this girl?

  9. 9

    Who cares? No one I know that's for sure. The entire family is a dysfunctional mess and she has burned her bridges. I won't pay to see anything she's in. Ever!

  10. 10

    Swallowing cum on a regular basis should soothe her dried and overused larnyx in a few short weeks. There was research done at Brown University's School of Medicine on this very issue. During Spring vacation, student volunteers took part in an 8-week study and the findings were quite favorable.

  11. 11

    As long as you're continuing to write about this nobody, why not start giving us the life play-by-play of, oh, I dunno, any extra in any movie. That's about how relevant this broad is. Stop already. She's a total waste. All she cares about is attention. She will NEVER have the career she once had. Her narcissistic behavior will guarantee that.

  12. 12

    Perez you are such a BULLY . Lindsay Looks Great ! Have the best Birthday you can Lindsay !
    Dont listen to the haters . Thats what they know how to do hate .
    Keep your head up Lindsay

  13. @v@ says – reply to this


    What she says and what she does have always been two separate things. I guess that's why you've posted this…she sets herself up for it.

  14. frizb says – reply to this


    hi lindsay always remeber Youll always be my best beautiful flower in my rose garden up here in NewEngland ! dont listen to negative comments,,,,,Listen to your heart,,,Your the best star i know in your world ! Love Always Frizb