Guys, we're getting nervous. We need Ryan Murphy to come over to our place, bring us some hot tea, hold our hand and tell us that everything is going to be okay on Glee. Right now, we haven't a clue what is going to happen to our beloved Lea Michele, Chris Colfer and Corey Monteith past this summer. No one will tell us anything definite.
We won't be hasty and say that these new characters won't live up to their predecessors … but for right now, we're not convinced. Here's a rundown of the new characters being written for this season:
Sugar. Yes, that's her name. We've heard her be compared to RHNJ’s Danielle Staub, in that she's going to stir up some major drama and can't sing a single damn note without the aid of autotune.
Then there's Sheila, "a modern-day Joan Jett." Badass and fierce, she's got a pack of mean girls at her side at all times and she's going to make someone's life a living hell. No word yet if Kristen Stewart will be hacking off her locks again for the part.
Finally, there's Bubba. Yes, Bubba. Want us to say it again? Fine! BUBBA! No, this is not the damn of Coach Beiste's long-lost, recently released from the clink cousin or McKinley's new cafeteria cook whose specializes in shrimp. Brace yourself Gleeks, because Bubba is actually Mercedes’ new beau! Reportedly, the characters will have met over the summer and are now intimately involved.
Sorry, but where are all those new writers you guys hired? Did they have a say in this? Honestly - BUBBA! You wait three years to give our girl Mercedes some lovin' and she ends up with a guy named Bubba! We are not amused.
Just remember what you promised, Ryan. This season is going to be all about the characters - the established characters. We want Rachel, Finn, Quinn, Santana, Brittany, Artie, Kurt, Blaine. We want OUR gleeks to get their last moments to shine without being overshadowed by a new class of characters you're bringing in to step in once they're all gone.
Don't let us down, Ryan! Please!