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Texas Teenager Bites Stranger, Claims He's a '500-Year-Old Vampire'

| Filed under: Icky Icky PooBusted!Twilight

texas teen vampire bit a stranger

Ugh. These people who call themselves vampires are SUCH lunatics!

The newest "vampire" who's been causing trouble is 19-year-old Lyle Monroe Bensley of Texas (above), who's currently in jail after he broke into a stranger's apartment and bit her neck.

Apparently, he claimed he was a "500-year-old vampire who 'needed to feed.'" Creepy!

Beasley's being charged for burglary with intent to commit assault. As for his victim, fortunately she only suffered minor injuries.

This trend seriously needs to end! Maybe they need to do background checks on people before they're allowed to go see the Twilight movies or something!


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31 comments to “Texas Teenager Bites Stranger, Claims He's a '500-Year-Old Vampire'”

  1. 1

    What are you on about? Twilight isn't about vampires

  2. 2

    It's true, I met him during the fifth war of Italy, he had exactly the same piercing.

  3. Rohan says – reply to this


    Wow, great celebrity news!

  4. Dale says – reply to this


    he's hot! bite me, bite me!!

  5. 5

    why didn't he just use mind control to escape??

  6. 6

    The 'victim' has to be checked for all sorts of diseases… hepititis, etc…. he will be charged for assault,etc.. put in jail, in the jailyard and then a therapist when he can be exposed to sunlight, not need blood, etc. etc. etc.

  7. 7

    Wow, he's kinda hot. He can bite me after they check him out for diseases and stuff. Mrow.

  8. 8

    You're a fuck face Mario..He mentioned nothing about sparkling. I doubt he watches the twitarded Twilight movies

  9. 9

    Keepin up with the Celebrity Juice. Keep up the good work gayboy!

  10. 10

    Oh yeah, & Texas FTW!! Haha a

  11. 11

    His Monarch alter is a vampire,you know exactly what's going on Monarch Perez.

  12. 12


  13. 13

    Ask his mom how old he is. LOL

  14. 14

    The earrings are idiotic. But thank you for not writing "HAWT" all over his picture like you usually do with any male under 65.

  15. 15

    can't be a real vampire, he didn't get permission to enter the apartment. next time he better do some more research!

  16. 16

    I wonder if people thought the same thing about the first guy that wanted to stick his dick up another guys ass…..? HUH???

  17. 17

    I'm sick of these delusional people who think they are vampires. Ugh!

  18. 18

    Some people are just crazy!!

  19. 19

    Homeboy looks and is crazy!

  20. 20

    This isn't about celebrities damn it.. and twilight was not the first fucking vampire creation.. so fucking annoying!!

  21. 21

    Yet another post about some idiot slob nobody cares about. Way to work that celebrity juice, Mario.

  22. 22

    this was in my town, Victoria, TX, and this makes me even more ashamed to be from shitoria.

  23. 23

    this happend in my town, Victoria, TX, it makes me more ashamed to be from shitoria.

  24. 24

    oh please, we all know in the right situation perez would be all over his cock. Lol

    talk about delusional though, if hes really 500 years old he needs to give us his beauty secrets

  25. 25

    mmmm no

  26. 26

    You guys do realize that Mario doesn't really post shit on here anymore, Right?

  27. @v@ says – reply to this


    Re: Robdawg – Exactly. At 500, he's just a pup. Muahaha.

  28. 28

    He is precisely the type of vampire I dream about biting me =) he's uber HOTT

  29. 29

    meh whatever, he's hot.

  30. 30

    hey he's actually pretty cute, i woulda bit him back ;D

  31. 31

    why the fuck are all these people always commenting on how much they hate perez/his website.. like honestly if you hated perez so much you wouldn't go thru all the trouble of making an account to comment.. you're idiots and if you hate perez and his website so much then get the fuck off of it!!