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Did U Watch Two And Half Men Last Night? We Did!

| Filed under: TV NewsAshton KutcherCharlie Sheen

The death of Charlie Sheen Harper and the debut of Ashton Kutcher. It was a water cooler moment for sure.

Wait, do people still hang out in front of water coolers? What's the modern equivalent? The Keurig? Maybe? Ah, not the point.

Point is, last night, the new season of Two and A Half Men premiered and finally, the world learned how Chuck Lorre rid himself of Charlie Sheen forever and introduced Ashton into the fold. If you haven't seen the episode yet, we're offering this SPOILER ALERT WARNING. Come back to us when your DVR is just a little less full.

The episode opens at Charlie's funeral. In truth, in a room filled with his ex-conquests (and their STDS), no one seems all that upset that Charlie is gone. That is, except his brother Alan, played by Jon Cryer, who attempts to make a poignant speech about the passing of his bro. Then, Charlie's obsessive neighbor Rose comes to the alter to say her last goodbyes to her - wait for it - husband! Yes, while the two met up in Paris last season, they tied the knot. Shortly after, Rose found Charlie in the shower with another woman. She was devastated, for sure, but she was more devastated the next day when she found him in a more compromising position: run over by a metro train after he "accidentally" fell onto the tracks while they were waiting to board.

And that's the way the cookie crumbles…

From there, a few quick (and ironic) cameos from John Stamos and Dharma & Greg (literally) led into the inevitable realization that Alan can no longer afford to live in Charlie's house and he will be forced to move out. When Charlie's ashes arrive at the house, Alan decides to give him a proper goodbye (translation - Chuck takes a dig at the MaSheen) by heading down the beach to sprinkle his ashes. "It's simple, dignified, and pretty girls with oil will be sitting on you all day," Alan said. "It's kind of like your life – except for the dignified part."

And that's when things take a turn, as Alan rises from the couch to find a wet and pathetic Ashton Kutcher creeping at his plate glass door (above). Ashton is Walden Schmidt, an Internet billionaire who unsuccessfully tried to take his own life in the ocean. He apparently was smart enough to make 1.3 billion dollars, but not bright enough to know that the ocean is "cold". Anyway, good looking and rich, Walden is upset that his wife is leaving him and with sympathy, Alan decides to treat him to a drink.

Long story short, Walden picks up right where Charlie left off. He ends up having a threesome in Charlie's bed after picking up two girls at the bar. Stark naked, he tells Alan that he "digs" the house and that he's going to buy it. To be continued … Fade to black.

Obviously, we'll all have to tune in next week to know what's going to happen. Not like we couldn't guess or anything.

What did U think of the first episode of the new 2.5 Men? Did U miss Charlie Sheen? Did Ashton live up to the hype? Sound off!

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31 comments to “Did U Watch Two And Half Men Last Night? We Did!”

  1. 1

    I missed Sheen. The episode wasn't funny. The show doesn't need 2 "alan's"…

  2. 2

    They left the possibility of Charlies return open..Saying that he was literally unrecognizable..This was obviously done because Charlie was fired..BUT if he returns he could of faked his death. Even thou the storyline was the train death which is why the coffin was closed (obviously because Charlie could not do 2 and a half men) but it also leaves the possibility for him to return.

  3. 3


  4. 4

    i didn't watch.. but reading this i'm kinda glad i didn't because it sounds… ridiculous. i dont know. charlie sheen is a good actor, even after he became a drug addict. i'm not sold on this plot.

  5. 5

    ashton played the same character on that 70s show…….jumped the shark

  6. 6

    The show was terrible. Lorre was so busy writing his fantasies on how to stick it to Sheen, that it blurred his senses. Nothing really made sense. Their mother trying to sell Charlie's home at his funeral? Ridiculous! Ashton is too young to play against Jon. The show works better when the two actors are closer in age. Jon plays the idiot well. Now he is the mentor and it will not work. There is no chemistry between Cryer and Kutcher, either. It will fail.

  7. 7

    Rosie and Charlie didn't get married…they got engaged. Then she caught him in the shower with another woman.

    I despise it when people (especially someone giving a review of a show) get details wrong. And then announce wrong details as a BIG DEAL (her HUSBAND!! While in Paris they got MARRIED!!)…no…they didn't get married.

  8. 8

    Re: supadupamom – thank you…..Are we the only ones who realize Perez's mistake?

  9. gooby says – reply to this


    the whole funeral scene was quite dreadful and not funny. it felt like lorre's personal hatred for sheen overshadowed his writing skills. once kutcher arrived, it felt like the show finally started and he was fantasic in a much different role than sheen's and it was an excellent idea to make him suicidal and ort of pathetic - although still obviously a 'girl magnet'. i agree with ch cha's comment too.. john cryer wasn't very good with kutcher.. not much chemstry between them, although they got a bit better as the show went on. two huge thumbs up for kutcher though.. he was excellent!

  10. Heh says – reply to this


    It was just like every other episode to me so it was a successful transition in my opinion, Jon Cryer is carrying this show and he deserves more credit

  11. Eilee says – reply to this


    WOW up until Ashton comes in it was good

    TERRIBLE when Ashoton shows up
    WHO , please renmind me WHO thinks he is a good ACTOR????

    HE IS HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!!! YUK
    will not watch

  12. chiro says – reply to this


    The show SUCKED!!!! Ashton was NOT FUNNY!!!! They only reason the ratings were so high is bcz people wanted to see what happend to Charlie. It's not the same show and will bomb next next!!!!!

  13. 13

    Re: Cha_Cha_the famous – My daughter thinks John Stamos should have taken over the role of Charlie Harper. She says he has a lot of the same style and swagger and even looks a little like him. She feels they didn't need a new character unless they are leaving the door open for Sheen's return and then they would use all three men in the cast.

  14. 14


  15. 15

    Yeah,it was way better before Ashton showed up!He was just like a tiny bit smarter version of Kelso,he didnt do anything for me.Loved the rest of the cast!And even Jon Cryer was good,i ususally only like him once in a great while,if it doesnt get better i dont see another season.Charlie seems like hes on the right path,lets pray Rose has him locked away somewhere so if they settle things he can come back!!!Ashton,get better soon!or im done with the show

  16. 16

    I watched a little. A bit too mean-spirited. Not that funny and lacked the light-hearted goofiness that people liked. They really hammer Charlie (the character and the actor).
    Charlie was not a bad guy, nor a mean guy. But obviously Chuck (Chaim) Lorre is still bitter about Charlie calling him out. So they wrote a kinda nasty send off for Charlie, which made no sense (Charlie would have NEVER married Rose- that was the running joke for the last 8 seasons).
    I don't see the show going pass this season unless CBS keeps it just to spite Charlie. Which makes no sense since they settled and Charlie is going to make bank!

  17. 17

    i duno i liked it. i think ashton did pretty good. i see alot of potential here.

  18. 18

    Much ado about nothing.

  19. 19

    I thought it was good, I laughed…I will miss Charlie though. Ashton hopefully will not deadpan his way through the show, we have Jake for that…

  20. 20

    The show sucked before and it sucks now!! I hate this skankfest! nasty ugly chicks! its overrated.

  21. 21

    Watched it and loved it! I didn't miss the Weekend at Bernie's acting from Charlie at all! Once the Walden character gets out of his depression blues, I see that awesome writing staff and Ashton doing great things with that new character! Job well done@ Who needs an over-rated, egotistical drug addict? Good riddance Sheen!

  22. 22

    I loved it and will now watch it.

  23. 23

    womp womp…what a waste of my time watching this. There's another show I won't be watching any longer. TV is so lame anymore…when is Modern Family coming back so I have something to watch? UGH! Ashton is such a terrible actor…I have never seen him in anything except his underwear and now I know why…he's awful. I am surprised his parents, Demi & Bruce, allowed him to play this role (hooking up with girls and all).

  24. 24

    I watched it. Sure Im gonna miss Charlie ( cause he's a beast ) but I thought Ashton did a good job in replacing him. Ashton is funny and sexy. I'll continue watching it.

  25. 25

    In a word — UNFUNNY.

  26. 26

    bring charlie back ..

  27. 27

    Pretty crappy acting…nothing funny here. Ashton loves himself too much…was only good in "70's Show" before he became famous

  28. @v@ says – reply to this


    The funeral was completely irreverent, and it WAS funny; but all the funny was based on Charlie's well developed character. What will they base the funny on now?

  29. 29

    I am not a fan of Ashton Kutcher and I am not a fan of charlie Sheen either. However, ashton was ONLY on the show last night for about 12 mintues when you minus the time for commercial. This is way too quickly to judge him based on those 12 mintues we saw of him, to say if he will be funny or if he will fit in. We wouldn't know give it two more episodes at least. People do NOT like changes to character even if the new character does an amazing job people will still judge anyway because they are so used to the old one.

  30. 30

    Is Ashton only capable of playing one character?

  31. 31

    sadly, I missed it :/