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American Families Don't Like Schweddy Balls Ice Cream

| Filed under: Wacky, Tacky & TrueAlec Baldwin


No sense of humor. None. Such a shame.

Earlier this month, we told you that a limited batch of specially flavored ice cream was hitting your grocery's freezer, brought to you by the masterminds at Ben & Jerrys. It's name - Schweddy Balls, after the iconic Alec Baldwin SNL skit.

Now, the innuendo of the name is what it has made it a classic joke for the last decade or so, but apparently the American Family Association's affiliate OneMillionMoms doesn't find the joke all that funny. In fact, their delicate sensibilities are offended and they are calling for a boycott against all Ben and Jerry's products because of the "vulgar new flavor" which has turned something as "innocent as ice cream into something repulsive."

Oh wait, there's more! They sent out this newsletter as a call to action for all of their constituents, saying:

Ben & Jerry's announced their newest ice cream flavor which sounds anything but appealing. Schweddy Balls is the best they could come up with. The vulgar new flavor has turned something as innocent as ice cream into something repulsive. Not exactly what you want a child asking for at the supermarket.

The name originated from a Saturday Night Live skit featuring Alec Baldwin as Pete Schweddy, owner of a holiday bakery called Season's Eatings. "There are lots of great treats this time of year," Schweddy says. "Zucchini bread, fruitcake, but the thing I most like to bring out at this time of the year are my balls."

He then explains that he sells popcorn balls, cheese balls, rum balls—balls for every taste—and the ball puns proceed for about four minutes. Ben & Jerry's chose to go with fudge-covered rum and malt balls for their flavor. The skit culminates in Baldwin stating that "No one can resist my Schweddy Balls."

In the past, Ben & Jerry's has released controversial ice creams, like a special edition of Chubby Hubby called Hubby Hubby last year which celebrated gay marriage. It seems that offending customers has become an annual tradition for Ben & Jerry's.

The ice cream is being released in a limited batch, which means it will be distributed nationwide but only for three or four months. If it proves popular, another batch might be forthcoming, but we hope not.

"The name is irreverent," says Ben & Jerry's spokesman Sean Greenwood. "But we've always been about having some irreverence and having some fun … We're not trying to offend people. Our fans get the humor."


Please send Ben & Jerry's Public Relations Manager, Sean Greenwood, an email letter requesting that no additional Schweddy Balls ice cream be distributed. Also, highly recommend they refrain from producing another batch with this name or any other offensive names or you will no longer be able to purchase their products.

Ah, c'mon Moms! Have you ever even tasted Schweddy Balls? Sure, the texture leaves something to be desired and a mouthful might because your tummy ache after while. But seriously, Schweddy Balls can be really delicious if you just open your minds and mouthes to them.

All we are saying is give Schweddy Balls a chance!!

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31 comments to “American Families Don't Like Schweddy Balls Ice Cream”

  1. 1

    I really do not know why they are protesting against the Ice Cream. Kids would have had to seen the Old SNL skit and UNDERSTOOD it to get it. A really young kid ? Doubt it. And why would you let your young kids see reruns of SNL? If a kid asks, tell them it's Malt balls mix with rum, they will NEVER ask to try THAT ice cream. I understand some of their other protests for TV SHOWS-off color shows are on all day long in reruns and once your kid hits a certain age, you are not watching tv with them. But Mario, why even give them press? It is probably like the Catholic Church in the early 20th cen., telling their members what movies NOT TO SEE. And alot went off to the movie to see what was sooo offensive. Just like when someone says 'Now, X is over there but DON'T TURN AROUND' and you IMMEDIATELY TURN AROUND.

  2. 2

    Someone needs to get laid…

  3. yeez says – reply to this


    Of all the things wrong in the world, they go after ice cream. Way to pick the important battles.

  4. 4

    funny how you didnt call them out about the comment they said referring to the ice cream named hubby hubby in honor of gay marriages. saying that was offensive too. does this ice cream actually have rum in it because then its not for children anyway so why get so worked up. the flavor sounds nice and i like the funny name.

  5. 5

    Re: justtfax – Its not about kids getting the joke, its about them seeing it in the store, saying those words, and eating it. Its like if you named an ice cream "f*cking a$$hole." Kids wouldn't understand what that meant, but you still wouldn't want them asking for it by name, and most people would feel weird watching their kids eat from a container that said that.

  6. 6

    If the ice cream was targetted towards kids, I'd see their point but…it's not. It's rum flavoured…and even if it doesn't have rum in it, I don't think many parents are about to give their children anything rum flavoured. So I don'treally see the problem. Just explain it's an adult ice cream named after an on old joke on tv…and then hand them something kid friendly and they'll forget all about it.

  7. 7

    I don't get it! A love of schweddy balls is how most of them became Mom's in the first place. It would make more sense for them to worship this as their fertility symbol.

  8. 8

    Re: minkyzlur – Did you read the flavour? Because if children are eating this ice cream I think what the container says is the least of the issues…

  9. 9

    People are way to uptight. I get that you don't want your five year old running around yelling about balls but an easy fix to that…don't buy it or tell them its malt ball flavor. Early readers won't get the joke about the name and kids who are old enough to understand probably say worse behind their mothers backs anyway.

  10. 10

    People are starving all over the world and these twits have the time and money to protest this? My god, this country is full of know nothing, ignorant people. Why not focus on how you can help the children in your city that do not have enough to eat. I promise you these kids parents are not buying Ben & Jerry's……

  11. 11

    These people need to get lives. There are bigger issues affecting American families - abuse, molestation, drug and alcohol addiction, poverty, neglect, etc. WHY waste your time on the name of an ice cream flavour?!?!? Ben & Jerry's is one of the more socially and environmentally responsible companies in the country, so why do they feel the need to protest something so insignificant??
    I'm going to take their advice and send a letter to Sean Greenwood at Ben & Jerry's a letter commending the company on another success! Eat that, American Family Association!
    To everyone complaining about children eating rum flavoured ice cream… there is the FLAVOUR of rum, not actual rum. I ate similar things when I was a child. Get over it.

  12. 12

    I just went to this crazy site and used them to send letters of SUPPORT to all the people they are bullying. Maybe if more people did this, they'd be overrun. If you don't like the idea of ice cream (how do kids know what it means when the whole thing is innuendo simply discussing a baked treat), don't buy it. But don't try to stop me from choosing it from my grocer's freezer. Give moms a bad names, these broads.

  13. 13

    Why are people such prudes?

  14. 14

    *snort* If Ben and Jerry's is trying to be irreverent, maybe using an SNL skit from 1998 isn't exactly the best idea. What's next, something with Stuart Smalley on it? Sheesh. And if parents are going to get all up in arms about this, don't spend $6 and up on ice cream. And not that good of an ice cream, either.

  15. 15

    at the end of the day, you just have to feel sorry for people like this. the only passionate emotion they have is hate, and their lives are so dull that they spend time going after ice cream flavors

  16. 16

    This is disgusting. Are you people blind??! this is in bad taste and offensive. I could totally see some fucking pedophile asking a child if they want to taste "his Schemelly balls". Don't you see this sends out the wrong message? do whatever you want IN YOUR HOUSE, but this filth shouldn't be out there in our society! what the fuck is wrong with your people's brain? how can you think this is acceptable? Isn't our culture bad enough? I mean really. Isn't there enough filth to go around without this? what will be next? didlo cherry flavored lollipops? I mean, c'mon!

  17. 17

    Re: pollopicu – You're too easily offended. Lighten up.

  18. 18

    Don't like it, don't buy it…and honestly, I've never seen any kid go to a supermarket and ask where the ice cream is. Funny how she knows the skit by heart though.

  19. 19

    Re: justtfax – that's the other thing that cracks me up. Worried about the name, not the fact that there's Rum in it. Way to promote underage drinking!!

  20. 20

    Re: pollopicu – Chill sweetie. Go find your honey and get laid. You're wound tighter than my grandmother girdle. Get a grip.

  21. 21

    That is where you degenerate homosexuals are wrong.

    Normal folks figure they'd better try and suppress the flood of indecency before the damn breaks down completely.

  22. 22

    As adults we understand it and think it is funny but an 8yr who is old enough to read it and repeat it but not old enough to understand it could get into trouble at school for repeating it out loud. As an adult do you want to explain to and 8yr girl what schweddy balls actually mean. Of course you can tell her it is a bad word and don't say it again but of course she is gonna ask why. YOu can tell her it is an adult joke but she will find out sooner or later what it actually means and have to tell her how balls sweat on men and all the rest. Not funny when you have an 8yr or 9yr old or 10 yr old daughter who wants to bug you for the honest truth. It's all a joke til you have a child that repeats everything out loud in public that is discussed at home in private. A young child on my kids school bus screams "plastic vagina" everyday. He is too young to understand what it means but still repeats it daily. Imagine being the parent that has to have a meeeting with the principal for that?

  23. 23

    They should be more concerned about the obesity epidemic in America and teaching healthy eating habits to families, since they claim to be so concerned about the well-being of Americans, than this crap!

  24. 24

    Oh no, don't tell me that parents are actually going to tell kids that, gulp…males have testicles! Oh no! The horror! Ken lied to us!!
    Seriously people. It's not like the name is referring to occult ritual sacrifice or something. It's just a body part. Grow the fuck up.

  25. 25

    Re: pollopicu
    Go take your meds.

  26. 26

    Damn I wish these parents would just be better parents then they wouldn't have to try and police the world! If I showed that to my 7 yr old son, he wouldn't even know what that meant - and if he asked I would tell him, he is a boy he does have balls and it's funny. You see I actually parent my kid, and I don't try and shelter him from the world. He knows when it's appropriate to say things and not to say things. Hell, we just watched an episode on the New Looney Tunes and Daffy said to Foghorn, "who's going to listen to you with two Big Balls hanging from your chin", he laughed hysterically, like he should ’cause it was funny.

  27. 27

    Oh give me a break. Just put it on the high shelf where everything you don't want kids to touch or see goes.

  28. 28

    people get way too easily offended, and make noise about an issue that is so insignificant just because they can. i doubt ben and jerrys will have to take it off the shelves, it's a limited edition flavor anyway. i would never try it personally, i'm not a fan of malt balls or rum ice cream, but get over it, there are way bigger issues you should be worried about. i wonder if these are the same mothers who buy their children incredibly violent war video games that glorify warfare and killing people.

  29. 29

    Re: Lizzzz913 – No, I think these are the extremists that tell their children dinosaurs never existed and science is full of lies, who only show God-friendly programming to their children (even Sesame Street is too vulgar).

  30. 30

    The AFA are fucking idiots.

  31. 31

    This is why our cultured is fucked because morons like you allow everything to be OK. But it's filth like you that has made KK, heidi and spencer, courtney strodden famous. THAT is the result of shit like this. i don't need "meds". I should have to take "meds" to live in this society. Fucking filthy ass motherfuckers. I swear. i'm so sick of this shit.