Well, if she's gonna turn to anyone, we totally expect it to be the "consciously uncoupling" star!
Because, DUH! Who better to understand Beyoncé's pain than the Goop author?!
Then again, at this point, we're of the opinion that he has zero shame, so maybe he's not too bothered by this.
As we reported yesterday, Michael Lohan was arrested (again) on charges of domestic violence (again!) and was dragged downtown to be thrown in jail. However, after the cops cuffed him, Michael started to complain of chest pains (again!!!) and was rushed to the hospital for treatment.
And here's where things get CRAY-CRAY!
Once he was admitted to the hospital, Michael actually tried to outsmart the police and escape in nothing more than his hospital gown. Unfortunately, years of of chasing his daughter's spotlight haven't made him as fast as he thought, and the cops were able to intercept him before he made it out the door. He was then carted off to prison to be booked and searched, all while STILL wearing his hospital gown.
Oh look, a shred of dignity! Oh, never mind. It's gone now!
Hard knock life, huh Mike!