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Sheriff's Spokesperson Says Lindsay Lohan Will Be Out Of Jail In Minutes!

| Filed under: Lindsay LohanLegal Matters

Lindsay Lohan Jail Court

When Judge Stephanie Sautner sentenced Lindsay Lohan to thirty days in jail, she specifically said there would be no reduction in the sentence unless required by law.

Welll, according to officials, there IS a law that will ensure LiLo's release…

It's a federal court order that basically says, "if there's overcrowding, let everyone go with sentences under 90 days."

And the sheriff's spokesperson, Steve Whitmore, confirms Lindsay will be in and out of that jail "in minutes!"

Whaaat? That doesn't even sound like enough time to add another mugshot to the calendar collection!

Hopefully all of the psychotherapy treatments will do some good! Maybe they can actually help her work all her issues out so she can move on from whatever phase psychology would say she's stuck in and into living a normal, healthy life like a good citizen should.

But we fear we dream too big…

[Image via AP Images.]

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36 comments to “Sheriff's Spokesperson Says Lindsay Lohan Will Be Out Of Jail In Minutes!”

  1. 1

    Stephanie Sautner…you suck. What the hell? Why even have a legal system in this country? Oh yeah, I forgot, for us nobody peasants. Geez, maybe I should get a law degree and become a judge. Sounds like a no brainier of a job. Long live queen Lindsay.

  2. 2

    none of this surprises me.

  3. 3

    Hows the weather FatHead.

  4. 4

    "But we fear we dream too big.."

    Um that is the understatement of the millenium.

    i.e. you dream too big thinking that marriage equality will someday become a reality. Foolish pipe dream for a foolish person/group of selfish people.

  5. 5

    And how is this a surprise to anyone!! I knew this the moment the judge gave the sentence, its California there jails are very over crowded!!

  6. 6

    I know people who know people who know people who live in West HollyWood, and they say the other night a girl who looked just like HoHan was running nude, down the street, chasing guys, yelling that they could 'have her' for a bag of coke. An older lady with a Long Island accent was chasing her, telling her to stop, and to ALSO ask for money ! ;) . Sad, sad case ….

  7. 7

    Anyone else notice the 'double-chin' starting to form … ?

  8. 8

    I really hope she gets it together. It's not like she has family to turn to. When there isn't a victim, this is how a lot of cases go in CA. I mean the courts are more on top of her probation violations because she is Lohan. Most people don't get picked up til they do s/thing wrong again unless they have committed a major crime. This girl didn't have much of a chance. I hope she does better than her mom and dad.

  9. 9

    Great, another jail sentence reduced to nothing more than a photo op. That oughta teach her!

  10. 10

    OH THANK GOD!!!!!
    They knew That wasn't the right place for her!!
    God has really answered my prayers

  11. 11

    Why bother sentencing her to jail time if she is just going to walk in and walk out within "minutes" ?? If she were a no-name - she would have had the book thrown at her a long time ago and served time - I guess she has to hit rock bottom before she really learns a lesson - all she is learning is she can get away with anything she wants. I don't like wishing bad things to people, but I hope she does mess up to learn a lesson - she is no better than anyone else and if she breaks the law, she should pay for her mistakes

  12. 12

    Long Island Trash …… Ya can take her out of the borough, but ya can't take the borough outa her !

  13. 13

    Yaaaaay Lindsey…..fuck them all sista. You can all suck a big dick!!!!!!!!

  14. 14

    Re: WHAT????? – what nonsense! she has had more of a chance than millions. She came from a fairly well offf family and had a very promising career in film and music. Plus amazing money for her age. But she BLEW IT(up her nose). Then she continued to make continually stupid moves time after time. HER mistakes. Try being an inner city poor kid with no prospects and surrounded by drugs and crime…theyre the ones who dont stand a chance!

  15. 15

    She will be up to her old tricks in no time.

  16. 16

    Re: Be-Atch – You sound as reliable as fuckface Perez……it was probably your Mother running around screaming……."My kid is a Be-Atch"! LOL!
    "My kid is a Be-Atch"! "My kid is a Be-Atch"! "My kid is a Be-Atch"!

  17. 17

    can they not make it a term of her probation to get a proper fitting bra?

  18. 18

    perez- what's with all this "click here to read the rest of the story” nonsense? i can go to 30milezone and read the entire story(almost word for word) and not have to click anything.

  19. 19

    Lindsay Lohan is the last person in Los Angeles that NEEDS to be in jail; what a messed up court system!

  20. 20

    she is never going to learn her lesson because she knows she can get out of anything she does….Im sure this jail she is going to isnt the only jail in Calif…she is making a mockery of the jusdice system and they are letter her…she knows she can do whatever she wants and get away with it…has been for what 5 yrs now…all these things the judge says she has to do when she gets out she wont do them either just like before..cause she knows she dont have to..what are they going to do?…nothing slap her on the hand like always…what a shame

  21. 21

    Nice double chin Linds!!!!! You look like shit with that bloated face fat lips and hideously over bleached hair. Damn girl pull yourself together. . . You got a free pass AGAIN butno doubt oyu will somehow fuck this up too and then maybe just maybe they will actually make you serve some time.

  22. 22

    Re: Lasqueesha – I am not saying she should get her career back or catch a break in the legal system, I just would love to see her turn things around. I am rooting for her not to be strung out, dead or end up destructive and hurting people like her parents. I do hope people of less means do catch a break, I am rooting for them as well.I just wish the Kartrashcans would go away.

  23. 23

    re=5919527]Re: GayRay[/re] Now Now Linds……..get back in the box and suck the old man's peen for the little bag full of white magic ….

  24. 24

    Bet she smells really bad, this HoHan gurl, due to all the drugs and cigs !

  25. 25

    Can people in California stop committing crimes so this bitch can go to jail?

  26. 26

    Where's Fletcher Reede when ya need him? "STOP BREAKIN' THE LAAAWWW, ASSSSHOLLLLE!"

  27. 27


    A radiant and confident Lindsay Lohan pulled out all the stops today as she arrived in court today in a throwback dress which she accented with her amazing braless natural breasts.

    Going a step further, Lindsay decided to go full commando today, giving self-admitted lesbian Judge Stephanie Sautner a full on preview of the upcoming playboy photo-shoot when she casually crossed, uncrossed, and at one point fully opening her legs for the Judge to see. “I did notice the fact that she did not have any underwear on” said an unidentified source in the LA Sherriff’s Department.

    Following the hearing, a smiling Lindsay left the court room and gave all the onlookers a titillating look at what influenced the Judge and Lindsay’s sentence as she strode confidently to her car with one of the best natural sways of boobage in Hollywood!

  28. 28

    Dont blame Lindsay for only spending a few minutes in jail is it her fault that jails in cali are overcrowded? Its not like before this hearing she could have known what she would have been sentenced with. Also, she had a year to do her probation and when they realized she wasnt getting right on it they revoked it. [which is fair] but normal people dont exactly get scrutinized through out their probation and then they usually only get sent back to jail for doing what they did before! I mean, yeah shes gotten off easy, but her shortened sentences isnt her fault.

    and Why didnt the judge know ahead of time that she would be out so fast? You dont think that a judge would know the state of the states prison sentence. Im sure she does, she probably knew that Lindsay would be out and that she was scaring her. I mean the girl did only skip her court ordered charity work she didnt go around shanking people or doing crack. geez. If the judge wanted her in prison she would have sentenced her to more than 90 days.

  29. 29

    she's clearly above the law. any normal person whould have been locked up years ago! this whole thing pisses me off

  30. 30

    Would somebody just hook up the electrodes already?!?!?

  31. 31

    Re: Be-Atch – Are you High ?

  32. 32

    It is so not Lindsay's fault CA jail is over crowded . LL should not be in Jail anyway . The real issue that you all seem to forget is that this is about a DUI of 4 YEARS AGO she has not has 1 since . Her probation is an unrealistic Joke just because of her fame . The media has a major hard on for Lindsay and profit on negative news . Lindsay is better than this . Like none of you have messed up in your life but because of her fame she is judged . LL is human Let her get back to acting . Perez you are such a Bully ! If it were not for Celebs you would not have a job remember that

  33. @v@ says – reply to this


    Kudos on the creative lol tales on this thread tonight, specifically:
    Re: Be-Atch – —-and—-Re: motojj

  34. @v@ says – reply to this


    For cripes sake, Lindsay, just put your head down and put on the damn worker bee hat and get 'er done so you can stop tap dancing for the justice system and then get back to some lucrative work. You can freaking act. I think.

  35. 35

    I love how Lindsay is going through all this trouble I can't even remember what she did besides being over exposed however Chris brown picks up sone trash and gets away with all after beating hus girlfriend to near death, then continue his successful career, same with charlie sheen. What a fucked up world.

  36. 36

    Re: BeyondAmazing. – True Da Girl ! Kudos to you