
Poor Doris Birch! All she wants is a quiet night's sleep, but no. This bitch of a ghost just won't let her.
The grandmother says she is constantly being groped by the ghost in the middle of the night. She explains to nonbelievers:
It’s like an octopus. I was lying in bed when I felt this creepy pair of hands. I kicked frantically and it went away. I've tried sleeping without the duvet. But it started shaking my mattress. I even threw the mattress off the bed and bought a new one but it has made no difference. This is very creepy and is giving me the jitters. It’s harassing me. I need to call in the Ghostbusters.
Well call in the Ghostbusters she did! After being told the ghost was a lost spirit, she ordered a husband-wife ghostbusting team to help the "lost one" on its way.
Ray Herne's plan is to "draw the ghost into him while his wife Beryl will capture it in a vortex of light and send it to the other side."
Film it! Film it!!! And then send it to us!
What's UR ghost story??
[Image via AP Images.]
Tags: doris birch, ghosts, haunting, poltergeist, ray herne, spirits
What a fucking idiot.