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Romney Edges Out Santorum For Iowa Caucuses

| Filed under: PolitikBarack ObamaStephen ColbertMichele Bachmann


Looks like as long as you can stay still, you can win a primary.

Mitt Romney barely pulled out an Iowa caucus victory over surging candidate Rick Santorum. The Stormin' Mormon edged out his counterpart by 8 votes.

Michele Bachmann, who finished 6th, announced a press conference for 11 AM EST on January 4th, suggesting that she (FINALLY) might be tapping out.

Bachmann and fifth placer Rick Perry both said terms like "soul searching' and "reconsidering" furthering speculation that their presidential dreams are donezo.

Mostly all of the candidates are anti-Romney so the former Massachusetts governor wants everyone to stay in the hunt to split the Romney haters up.

Romney and Santorum finished with roughly 25% of the vote each. Ron Paul finally got rid of his laughingstock persona and finished 3rd with 21%.

Last place finisher John Huntsman decided to focus on New Hampshire instead of Iowa.

Then again, he also said Iowa is good for nothing but corn so you may be able to tell where he'll finish elsewhere too.

And we can't forget about ol' Newt, can we?! Gingrich finished fourth but there's no way he's quitting anytime soon.

Lastly, Obama reninforced his position to the public by going over his successes in the past three years at the Democratic caucuses.

Cheaper college, the Iraq War pullout (that's what she said) and health care reform were his key points.

Next stop in the primaries is New Hampshire, followed by South Carolina.

We wonder if Stephen Colbert will run in South Carolina again…

[Image via WENN.]

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12 comments to “Romney Edges Out Santorum For Iowa Caucuses”

  1. 1

    Doesn't even matter. Obama is going to be re-elected. Congratulations, fools!

  2. buck says – reply to this


    11 short months away and we can right our wrong America. Lets get this disasterous experiment over with and put the last 4 years far behind us.

  3. 3

    obama wins as long as unemployment continues to fall…michele bachmann a smokin fitty year old. make her ambassador to saudi arabia those pigs

  4. nobas says – reply to this


    Thankfully both Romney and Santorum are opposed to gay marriage and both have said they intend to overturn the states that have previously passed same sex marriage laws. That should make for constant bullying on your site if either of them are elected next year.

  5. 5

    He's a used car salesman. Captain Flakeomatic.

  6. 6

    Obama shit himself when Romney won!

  7. 7

    The Iowa Caucues is a joke, just like New Hampshire
    When you allow Democrates to change party affiliation to vote in the caucuses
    of course they will vote for the weaker canadate, and hope he is the one the party will select
    In 08 New hampshire went big for McCain, many of hose votes actually came from Vermont Dems, who crossed over the state line to vote for him

  8. 8

    This entire presidential election is a joke. The United States of America is going to be in big trouble for the next few years. Hope everyone is ready for the biggest roller coaster ride ever.

  9. 9

    Laughingstock persona???? LOL For your information, Perez HATE-ton, if Ron Paul was a laughingstock, he wouldn't have finished in the top three! He blew Michelle Freakmann, Prick Perry, Newt Gingpoor, and John Dunceman out of water. Ron Paul is the only consistent one of them all. He sticks to what he stands for and sees through all the bullshit like a window. Not having anymore "wars" is a great idea! America is NOT the world's mommy and daddy, and it's not our job to babysit every country. We have a mess to fix and he's the one for the job. Flopney and Failtorum better watch out, because Paul is coming for their asses. You, Mario, make yourself an even bigger tool with your "Stormin' Mormon" shit.

  10. 10

  11. 11

    Re: Midnight Empress – I agree and will be voting for him

  12. 12

    How does Rick Santorum go from 13% to 25% overnight? Ballots counted at a 'secret location'? I mean the New Hampshire voting will be all electronic. Romney is the guy the GOP wants up there, actually I shouldn't say the GOP, but the establishment that controls both parties. This was clearly RIGGED at the last minute as Ron Paul had most of the vote the entire time ballots were being counted. 3rd place is OK. We need to STAY STRONG through this and vote RON PAUL in 2012. Sarah Palin's comments about Paul, will help as she will direct female voters in his direction. PAUL / KUCINICH 2012. We WILL defeat the new order bolshevik-marxist-leninists and the bavarian banking families of Germany that privately own the Federal Reserve. And FUCK YOU DAVID ROCKEFELLER!