We have … so many feelings.
Last night’s episode of Glee was a game changer. We know, we’ve said that like 3 times this season, but we’re totally serious about this. Things happened in this episode that could possibly change the course of the entire series. Remember when Lea Michele teased that the fourth season was going to be “revolutionary”? Things might have gone into motion towards that last night!
WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD! DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER UNLESS YOU WANT LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE OF GLEE RUINED FOR YOU! AND TRUST US – YOU DON’T!
Okay, we have to start by asking: are there any Finnchel fans still alive? Are the hospitals currently filled to the brim with teens passed out or hyperventilating into paper bags? Because we’re thinking that’s probably the case, since in the final moments of last night’s episode, Finn got down on one knee and asked Rachel to marry him! Right there in the auditorium - the place where they fell in love and had their first kiss - he asked her to spend the rest of her life with him.
Now, as a reasonable, sensible, rational adult, we know it is a terrible idea for two love struck kids to rush into a marriage before they’ve even had a chance to live their lives and dreams to the fullest. But as a Finnchel fan… well, let’s just say we had no idea shrill fangirl screaming could actually deafen another human being 50 feet away. (Our sincerest apologies to our neighbor. You can send us the bill for your new hearing aide)
But before Finn decided to make this huge leap into his future, he was shocked to learn something about his past. Finn confides in Schuester that he wants to join the army to be like his dad, but his mother steps in to reveal a terrible secret. After years of thinking his father died a war hero, Finn discovers that his pops actually was dishonorably discharged from the army, left his son and wife to chase a drug addiction to Cincinnati and died of an overdose. One could surmise that the loss of his father (figuratively) prompted Finn to rush into proposing to Rachel. Personally, we would’ve put a ring on it too if she sang Without You to us! (SO. DAMN. GOOD!)
Oh, her answer? TBD! Ryan Murphy totally New Moon’d us on that one!
But Finnchel fans weren’t the only ones celebrating last night. Wemma lovers had a lot to love in this episode too, as Will finally got up the courage to ask his obsessively clean, doe-eyed gal to be his second wife. There was some initial hesitation after
Ralph Malph Emma’s father shares his doubt that Will can handle his daughter’s OCD for the rest of their lives. But Schuester realizes he loves Emma just the way she is and arranges the most elaborate, ridiculously cheesy proposal in the history of the world. Who knew that Rihanna’s music was powerful enough to make a man walk on water! (P.S. – Trying that later!) And unlike SOME people, Emma gave Will the answer he wanted to hear – YES! And in the distance, Kurt can be heard planning the wedding already. (Also, does this mean they are going to have sex now????)
Oh, and least us not forget the inner monologue of one Becky Jackson, as voiced by Helen Mirren. We don’t know how RIB comes up with this stuff, but we bow to them on this one. Inspired. Hysterical. Moving. Poignant. There aren’t enough adjectives to accurately describe how brilliant those scenes were. We’re contacting Disney after this post is over and requesting they change the Dame’s track on Spaceship Earth at Epcot with the soundbites from this episode. Wait, what? That's Judi Dench? Oh whatever! All those Dames sound the same!
Finally, MAJOR props to NeNe Leakes. She kind of got overshadowed in this episode with all the looooove happening, but we’ve got NOTHING but praise for her sassy pants monologue as the new swim coach! HIGHlarious!
Few Side Notes:
A. Puck kissed Sam’s hand before Summer Nights. Everyone else saw that, right?
B. If RIB could squeeze in a time where it would be appropriate for Santana to sing There Are Worse Things I Could Do from Grease, that would just be great.
C. So, the Beiste eloped! Yay for her! Does that make her name … Beiste Cooter? Really?
D. Matthew Morrison should NEVER wear sleeves. The end.
E. We’re thinking Schuester might need to get some adult friends.
F. Yes, we’re glad Darren Criss got to star in his first Broadway show. No, we’re not happy that he’s practically absent from this whole episode because of it.
And now, for something new, check out the gallery for a new segment we like to call, “They Should’ve Said…” (As in, this is what we wish they would’ve said in the episode. Get it? You get it.)