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Cynthia Nixon Speaks Out Again! Says 'Nobody Likes The Bisexuals!'

| Filed under: Gay Gay GayCynthia NixonLGBT

cynthia nixon speaks more

Seems like she's digging herself into a deeper hole here…but at least she acknowledges the harm in using the word "choice" with regards to her sexuality.

To recap - back in 2004, Cynthia Nixon came out as a lesbian and introduced the world to her partner Christine Marinoni.

Then earlier this week, she revealed that being gay was a "choice" for her, and we weren't thrilled with her choice of words.

Now, Cynthia has opened up further about her controversial comment. Here's what she had to say about it:

"I understand for political reasons why some people want to kind of squelch this idea that being gay might be a choice, because a lot of the rights we want are posited on the supposition that why are you denying me my rights any more than if I were created a different color? But I don’t feel the need to cede the definition of what a gay person is to the bigots."

And here's Cynthia on why she doesn't refer to herself as bisexual (she had a 15-year relationship with a man):

"I don’t pull out the 'bisexual' word because nobody likes the bisexuals. Everybody likes to dump on the bisexuals."

She certainly has the right to voice her opinion, and as we said before, we can't define her "gayness"…but it still does concern us that she's putting the notion that being gay is a choice out in the world.

Once again - we were BORN gay, and millions of gay people around the world feel the same way!

[Image via WENN.]

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57 comments to “Cynthia Nixon Speaks Out Again! Says 'Nobody Likes The Bisexuals!'”

  1. 1

    I don't see what the big deal is. Just because it was a choice for her, does not mean it is a choice for everyone. I think that for most people, gay and straight, it is simply the way we were born, but for some it is not. Sexuality is more fluid for some people. No big deal. Using the word choice does not erode the need for equal treatment. If we want true equality and an end to discrimination, the reasons why people are gay or straight or bi are irrelevant. It is the religious right who make a big issue out of the word choice. We don't have to let them steer the boat. Good for Cynthia for stating how she feels.

  2. 2


    Millions were born this way - gay, lesbian - and millions were born intersex, transgender, queer, and bisexual. However, part of Lady Gaga's brilliant message is that continuing on a journey is part of being born this way. I am a bisexual person. For me, it was a choice. I have always been attracted to both men and women, and I choose both with whom to spend to my time and when. For so many out there, it is of course not a choice. But it only takes our community's progress back several steps when we don't allow people to choose to join the community! As sexuality is often described as a spectrum, so is gender. Some days I feel more male than female. I'm not exactly choosing to be male, but I could if I wanted to - I could wake up and choose to begin living my life as a transperson if it would make me feel comfortable. Bigotry is hard to combat. It would be very convenient and easy if being gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer or intersex were not a choice for everyone, but for some it is. And it does nothing but harm the community when we pretend that each of us comes from the exact same mold - which is exactly how the bigots try to negate our rights in the first place.

  3. 3

    How do you wining gays think you deserve respect with shit like this. Newsflash, for you morons, IF YOU ARE BISEXUAL, IT IS A CHOICE. IF YOU LIKE BOTH, YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE WHICH ONE TO PERSUE, WHICH MAKES IT A CHOICE! Get a fucking clue. She can go either way, which in and of itself, is the definition of choice. Dramatic homo's

  4. 4

    like i said first time you posted this story,,, why aRE you being soooo nice to her. if anyone else said "gay is a choice" you would be screaming like a girly man and it would be " filed under icky icky poo" or"sick sick sick" or some other negative comment. funny as hell when one of your own admits it is a choice and you cannot or will not fight for your believe. "but it still does concern us that she's putting the notion that being gay is a choice out in the world." does not constitute fighting.

  5. 5

    Bisexual people were abused by men and women…..they need major therapy…..you can't be bisexual only a hermaphadite.

  6. 6

    Re: whodunitz – prove it!

    it there was proof that you were born gay….wouldn't it be done by now!

    they are abused children…..not born that way moron…..look up your facts.

  7. 7

    Re: hoochpit – totally agree with you!

  8. 8

    Re: rosebud99 – you keep telling yourself that moron.

  9. 9

    geez perez she said it was a CHOICE FOR HER….. why cant it be a choice for some, some are born that way and some decide… whats the big deal? I am all for equal rights, i think EVERYONE should have the same rights…. but i dont understand why people are up in her face about saying it was a choice for her… people need to get a life and stop making such a big deal out of EVERYTHING…

  10. 10

    So people who experiment with the same sex, and then find out it's not all it's cracked up to be, can never be straight again?

  11. 11

    Re: triple M – Hi mom!!

  12. danjf says – reply to this



  13. 13

    goddamn, u fat hog, if she says it was a choice for her, let her be! u always got to give ur fucking opinion when no is asking for it. just because it was a choice for her, doesnt make her any less than some one else who was born that way….get over urself, moron

  14. 14

    She`s not speaking for anyone but herself. There`s nothing wrong with what she said, in my opinion. Thankfully we have hoochpit`s eloquent and clearly well-educated opinion, which I happen to agree with. However, when you`re calling out gays as `morons` you should know that it`s `whining` with an H and `homos`with no apostraphe (the apostraphe there indicates possession, not pluralization). Fuckin` breeders!

  15. 15

    By whose definition is her comment "controversial"? Having actually known a few Bi's myself, they sometimes joke about having more variety to choose from.

  16. 16

    Fuck you Perez Hilton - why the fuck does it matter if someone chooses to be gay or chooses to be straight. You want the world to accept you the way you were made - how dare you cast judgement on someone else because it doesn't fit your definitions.

    If I had 3 wishes, one of them would be that you would go back into anonymity.

  17. 17

    Re: danjf – CAP LOCK BAD

  18. 18

    Re: Christina Polo – doubles your chance to get laid on saturday night.

  19. 19

    By the way, a friend of mine who thought he was gay until he was in his mid thirties met a woman and fell in love with her. He saw a psychiatrist for many months as he wanted to be sure of his feelings and not hurt her. The final diagnosis? The shink said he was bisexual. The result is, he has been happily married for over 10 years. While whom he fell in love with was not a "choice", He feared backlash from his gay circle of friends. (So I get what Cynthia is saying) But fortunately, they all supported him, wished him the best, and never stopped being his friend. You could learn something from people like that.

  20. 20

    I made an account to comment on this but this is very bigoted. What your essential saying is that only the people that are born gay are true gay puritans and people who make a life style choice/change have to be considered bisexual and cannot refer to them self as gay? How about you show the same courtesy you show to Chaz Bono who was born a women and is now a man.

  21. 21

    So what Perez is saying here is if you aren't born gay you can't be gay or discover yourself over time you must be labled bisexual,I'm not even gay or bisexual and this makes me mad lol.

  22. 22

    …I'm not seeing the problem. Her deciding to be gay and you being born gay aren't mutually exclusive. It has NOTHING to do with you.

  23. 23

    I was actually super proud to hear Cynthia saying it was a CHOICE and for once admitting that for her, she chose a lifestyle that meant being with a woman. Trust me, I was not born gay but sometimes I think I'd like to choose to be one just because of the way men are…
    You were born gay Perez, no doubt about that, you are as gay as they come.
    But not eveyone was. You are so narrow minded sometimes!

    It's not just about a fight for rights for gays… it's about accepting everyone as they are. You need to ACCEPT that Cynthia isn't the type of GAY you are.

  24. 24

    Re: triple M – Good God! You really have no clue whatsoever, don't you?

  25. 25

    For her it was a choice, What's the Big Deal??? People are different. Maybe not every gay person feels they were "Born Gay"…ridiculous box to put all gay people in. A friend from High School was married to a man for 12 years, had other relationships, Met a woman whom she's with now. She certainly doesn't think she was Born Gay. It was a choice for her as well.

  26. 26

    Who you fall in love with or are attracted to sexually is part mental and part biological. I suspect that gay people have some mental health issues. I base this opinion on my experience w/ a sibling. He is a miserable alcoholic. He is confused knowing that nature intended him to procreate but yet the thought of having sex w/ a woman grosses him out. He drinks to numb his confused feelings. I watched him fall in love w/ his mother at a very early age. Somewhere in his mind he feels in love w/ her but knows morally he can't consummate that love and the thought of it repulses him. Those feelings of repulsion somehow transfer to all women. I also have a theory that maybe gay people are born that way because for some reason nature doesn't want them to procreate…like a genetic defect maybe. Guess we'll never know for sure but really…WHO CARES!?!

  27. 27

    Honestly I think none of us are completely straight or gay. Sexuality is very complex and differs with every person. I know I'm straight but I can look at another woman and appreciate her beauty and find her attractive. This doesn't make me gay but doesn't 100% straight either. I do think it's a choice but either because of experience or always having the notion that "you been that way and no other way" way of thinking, gays truely believe and feel their born gay, much like straight believe their born straight. It's all choices.

  28. 28

    What's the big deal? I agree with her 100%.. If she is truly bisexual, then for her it is a "choice" whether she goes with men or with women.
    And people do bash bisexuals. Gays bash them and say they are lying to themselves.. and straights bash them for liking the same sex. What did she say that was wrong here?

  29. 29

    I don't see what the big deal is. She's speaking for herself only and stating she felt it was a choice. If you're going to preach about being a respecter of persons then you need to respect it. You don't agree with her, but her saying it was a choice isn't negating any of the strides that are being made. You're more concerned that people are going to jump on "the choice" part than anything else. :( Makes me sad. I was happy when you decided you were going to change yourself around and change how you interact with the world. A lot of the times I see very thinly veiled bullying still going on. It's getting to the point where I really wonder if you're just putting on a veneer to fool people and not really changing much at all.

    Let her have her choice and you can remain born that way and everyone lives happily ever after.

  30. 30

    Re: danjf – Babe, I totally agree - I am attractive to everyone!!!!

  31. jham says – reply to this


    The truth is the truth. If this is her truth, why would she need to lie or not express it? I realize her truth may give validity to what the anti-gay movement is trying to push, but asking somebody to lie about who they are is wrong, no matter what side you're on. I don't necessarily agree with her, she says she "fell" in love with her partner, but if this is how she sees it, she shouldn't feel bullied into defining herself in a way other than how she sees herself. To say that this applies across the board to all homosexuals is stupd. And you can't let the fear of stupid people keep somebody from expressing themselves honestly. I find it hypocritical to do so.

  32. 32

    It's a choice for her because she's honestly attracted to both sexes. Not everyone else is.

  33. 33

    Re: triple M

    You remind me of the aborted fetus I saw last night in a back alley.

  34. 34

    Shut the fuck up Cynthia. What a douche.

  35. 35

    I don't understand the controversy. She's not saying that millions of people aren't born gay. She's simply saying that *she* wasn't and there's a long history of people, particularly women, who weren't but who becamse gay as they developed and figured out what they want in life. This is not the same as being bisexual. It's about growth and change. It happens to some people and to suggest it doesn't simply shows ignorance of gay and particularly lesbian history, and denies a significant number of gay people's experience.

    Cynthis Nixon is not responsible for conservative bigots using the idea of choice to persecute gay people and we should not deny other people's reality because of these bigots either. I respect that many people feel they were born gay. I ask for the same respect in return. For many people, myself included, it's just not as simple as being 'born this way'. I appreciate Cynthia voicing gay and lesbian experience in all it's diversity.

  36. 36

    She was not born gay, but she is choosing to be in a gay relationship. So she considers herself to now be gay. There are many, many, MANY people in the the gay community who can relate to this and who define themselves in this way.
    What kind of gay advocate tries to divide the people he is supposedly trying to help?

  37. 37

    "…Once again - we were BORN gay, and millions of gay people around the world feel the same way!…" Are you trying to suggest that people who identfy as bi-sexual are really gay, but just confused? Or are you suggesting that you and others are better than Cynthia because you are "real" gays? Perez if you want to say that you were born gay, say "I" was born gay. Stop with this "we" shit like you are speaking for everyone.

  38. 38

    Re: rosebud99Re: whodunitz – Wow, well said…nice to see inteliigent comments here….I agree, gay, bi, straight, whatever is ok….Cynthia had/has her process and walked the walk…Everyone's experience is different….

  39. 39

    All homosexuality is a choice. Gays just want people to believe they're born gay so they have an excuse for their sexual perversions. It's a short step from gay to child molester.

  40. 40

    Mad Dog, the majority of child molestors and other sexual predators are heterosexual males.

  41. 41

    Shes right about how bisexuals are perceived.

  42. 42

    oh no

  43. 43

    & not surpisingly, you're a biggot.. even with the people that are in your side of the game.

  44. 44

    i think people do prefer people just pick a side not sit with one foot in each but lohans gotten away with it noone minds her anttics much..i just see it as not being able to make up their minds. where as a gay person is GAY..which is good to accept who they are like perez does

    noone likes someone stuc in the middle

    did she choose to be bisexual? u would think if shes brave enough to come out she would be brave enough to say shes bisexual not gay..?

    either way im still trying to digest her in sex and the city II whoever wrote the roles gave kim cattrall a huge role gave sjp a huge role and charlotte and her got the short end of the stick..they dressed her up like a clown and made all her lines kind of weird..i still like her but just wish they had let her character be who she normally is im suspecting diff writers ..for sitcII

  45. 45

    Uh… okay.
    Shes kinda, loopy, but is that anything new? Its her opinion, afterall. She can say whatever she likes perez.

  46. 46

    I wish she had formulated her opinion differently, it does come off… not too good. She's right about one thing, though, bisexuals get a lot of hate, mostly from homosexuals.

  47. 47

    Re: JayMay17 – finally a comment that makes sense…

  48. 48


  49. danjf says – reply to this


    Re: honeylove021

    But it is no choice ! I noticed that I like men and women etc… I just never felt attractive to one sex just always to both (men and women ) Si I cannot choose my partner because sometimes I like women's more and sometimes men and sometimes I feel that I like both … Yes it is bisexual and I also had relationship with men but have to say that I really like women much more fpr the xxx thing .LOL So I cannot choose cuz it's my feelings that I feel and could not resist of them .

  50. danjf says – reply to this


    Re: whodunitz – That#s it but you are feelin this way and you can't choose this way of Life !

  51. danjf says – reply to this


    Re: Everything popular is wrong. – Don't forget about ! It's not only gays there's also people who think that bisexuals are more worse than gays cuz people think that bisexuals can never make a family or stay with one partner because bisexuals love both and feel attractive to both and that also means that bisexuals could not resist sex with another sex . So if u are in realationship with a woman it'd mean that u cannot resist sex with men etc… and don't forget about there is also bisexual men that have realtionship with gay men or bisexuals that have a realtionship with another bisexual man …it is also a same sex realtionship! Bisexual men who have partnership with another bisexual man feel also bullyied cuz conservatives do not want to see any kinda same sex realtionship …doesn't matter for them if the men are gay and together or bi and together in realtionship …

  52. 52

    Re: danjf – as I said before no one person is either or. You choose to have sexual relationships with both sexes. Your attractiveness to people is already set in your brain, due to your experiences, your taste in both men and women. Your brain is already set to think that bisexuality is ok. Whether you were born that way is the question. I don't think so because you don't come out of the womb knowing you like both women and men when youve never experienced anything. Then maybe it was predetermined that you were meant to be bisexual, like it was your destiny or something. I would counter that with you can always choose not to follow your destiny. It might not feel like a choice that you are the way you are but you subconsciously choose to be because it's what you think is you're true self. That's my way of thinking.

  53. AlyB says – reply to this


    Re: constipated
    Your brother having mental health issues does not mean every gay person has mental health issues. That is very ignorant to say.

  54. AlyB says – reply to this


    Re: Mad Dog
    It's people like you that bring our society down. Your ignorance is disgusting.

  55. 55

    She's telling the truth…everyone wants bi-sexuals to pick a team…and the truth is that they don't have to …they just need to be themselves…gays and straights should just accept that…

  56. 56

    I'm bisexual. I don't CHOOSE to like men and women; I just do.. That's strange to say someone can choose. I can choose to act on my feelings, but I can't choose that I feel this way. Anyways, useless point to try and make with people who will never understand what being bi or gay feels like. people can 'dump' on me all they want :) And Perez! Cynthia is being dumb! CALL HER OUT! Sheesh. No double standards please!

  57. 57

    Re: triple M – Gay people are gay because they were abused? All of 'em? *scratches head*