After last night’s episode of Glee, we were tempted to write this recap solely in Spanish, but then we thought better of it. It’s not like Ricky Martin will show up at our casa to conjugate our verbs correctly anyway. (Only in our dreams!!!)
WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD! DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER UNLESS YOU WANT LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE RUINED FOR YOU! AND WHY DIDN’T YOU WATCH ANYWAY? HOW COME YOU KEEP MISSING THE EPISODES AND THEN COME HERE TO READ OUR WARNINGS TO NOT READ THE RECAP? WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?! JUST KIDDING, IT’S FINE. YOU GOTTA DO YOU.
Now, where were we? Ah yes – Ricky Martin.
The next couple of weeks of Glee are all about making up for lost time, or rather, time not spent having celebrity guests. True to their word, RIB made sure that the first half of this season was cameo-free (they didn’t even have celeb judges for Sectionals!), but as Glee reaches its mid-point mark, a lot of famous faces are coming our way. While we’re still holding our breath for Gloria Estefan’s episode, having Ricky Martin on last night was equally as exhilarating.
Ricky plays a superior Spanish teacher, who Will Schuester both envies and needs in order to amp up his own teaching skills to earn tenure. Through watching Ricky with the kids, Schuester realizes that not only do his students know the language better than him (who knew Trouty Mouth could roll his “R’s”?!), but some of his students – namely Santana – are disappointed in his teaching of the subject, since it’s clear he has no real passion for it. After two muy caliente numbers from Ricky – and two very embarrassing ones for poor Matthew Morrison – Schuester steps aside to give his position to Ricky’s character. Now, Schue’s going to teach history: the version where the Nazi’s don’t take over the universe! Oh, and his soon to be wifey wins the tenure position. Long live those HIGHlarious pamphlets about embarrassing topics like two-timing hoes and washing your junk.
Speaking of those, Emma hands off a few of her best to Sam and Mercedes, who are having difficulty sorting out their hormone driven feelings for each other. Emma recommends that they take some time apart and cut off all communication with each other so they can sort out their feelings. That apparently doesn’t include singing to each other, but does include texting and tweeting. (BTW: #MercedesSmellsGood … get it trending people)
Later, Rachel drops the bomb on her besties Mercedes and Kurt that she and Finn are engaged. She picked the perfect moment too: right at the part of New Moon where Bella is standing in the forest between her furry wolf and her chilly, but well coiffed vampire. (Okay, we’re guessing, but still…) After Mercedes goes into a beautiful rendition of a Gloria Estefan classic, Kurt confronts Finn about the engagement and urges him to reconsider. But Finnchel fans, don’t get mad; he had some valid points. Kurt insists that Finn has more in him than just being Rachel’s plus-one forever and he encourages Finn to not give up on himself and his own future in favor of being attached to Rachel’s. Fair point … but maybe we can have it all? Two bright futures and a white wedding? Yes? Maybe? C’Mon!!!
Oh yes, and then there was Sue Sylvester. We thought she had met her match when Coach Beiste came to town, but boy, we were clueless as to what was to come. Now, Nene Frickin’ HIGHlarious Leakes is in the house and when Sue announces she’s ready to have a baby, Coach Roz steps in to lay down some sassy, well-played knowledge. We think she would’ve gone off on her for at least another 30 minutes had she also known that Sue wanted Will to father her late-in-life baby. Naturally, Emma had a problem with that, even after Sue explained that she just wants her child to have the same kind heart as the one in Will Schuester. Imagine that!
In the end, Sue’s still gonna try to have a baby san Will’s Chia Pet spunk, Samercedes was c*ckblocked AGAIN, Finnchel is still engaged (YES!!!) and the door is WIDE open for Ricky to come back for another episode. Everyone who is glad Gwyneth Paltrow wasn’t hired last year so Ricky could be hired this year raise your hand!
Next week … Rachel’s Gay Dads!!!
A Few Side Notes:
A. How can we become a part of the Lima Sound Machine?
B. “With who’s vagina?” is now our new catchphrase. Get on board!
C. If someone could send us some Mexican hipster shoes, we’d be much appreciated.
D. We have to reiterate again how thrilled we are that this isn’t the last we’ve seen of NeNe on Glee! She is welcomed breath of fresh air and uber sass!
And now for “They Should’ve Said…”