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Stripper/Gossip Reporter Says Jeremy Piven Is Lame At Oral Sex

| Filed under: Love LineJeremy PivenJohn LegendSundance Film Festival

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Hey, some guys have the gift of the tongue tango…some dont…

A gossip reporter by day, a crime fighter stripper by night, Sarah Tressler decided to dish on one of her previous sex-scapades … conveniently, an encounter than turned into a college dissertation in 2009.

Why didn't we think of this! College would've been so much easier!

Tressler claims that she met Jeremy Piven as an intern for Us Weekly.

She interviewed him, he took her home. Romantic, right?

Tressler claims that Jer's cunnilingus skillz were sub-par at best and describes her foray with the following:

This is a good song, I thought as his head maneuvered somewhere below my waist. I was kind of also watching TV—a football game was on mute—and finally starting to come to the realization that John Legend was worth all the hype he was getting at the Sundance Film Festival the previous year.

I alternated between being nervous that I was not as hot as his last hookup, being amazed that I was looking at Entourage's Ari Gold eat my pussy, and being bored with how mundane it was. It was all somewhat disappointing, frankly.

To make matters worse, I caused a minor accident that could have been disastrous. I get a bit lively when I'm being intimate, and I threw a pillow off to the side at one point, which landed on the nightstand. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a flash of light.

"Jeremy! The candle— !"

Candlelight is so cliché, anyway.

You sure this isn't fan fiction, Sarah?! LOLz!

We wonder why she chose to spill the beans, now, after three years. The stripper biz must not be cutting it.

[Image via WENN.]

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20 comments to “Stripper/Gossip Reporter Says Jeremy Piven Is Lame At Oral Sex”



  1. 1

    now i guess we wait for his version how he could track the taste of thousands of guys in there and found a missing person god this stuff is priceless hahaha



  2. 2

    Yuck I guess this guy will eat anything. No wonder he got mercury poisoning.



  3. 3

    yeah, right, such credible source of information, a gossip stripper!!! if that's true, lucky him he still has his tongue! and what do guys see in licking that stinky thing, seriously!



  4. 4

    You condemn that gay guy's roomie after the gay killed himself after being publicly humiliated but you see nothing wrong with you doing the same thing. You will always be a phony hypocrite. That AIDS can't kick in soon enough.



  5. 5

    I'd show him how to perform oral sex!



  6. 6

    what a story



  7. 7

    epic



  8. 8

    Re: Lady Who? – 1000% agreed. :D



  9. 9

    I think he would have done much better with a dick in his mouth



  10. 10

    Not surprising! He seems far too into himself to be good at giving head.



  11. 11

    The guy on superficial who wrote this summed it up best

    "What always amazes me about these stories, is that these chicks are in such a rush to reveal how horrible a celebrity is in bed that they completely miss the fact that all anyone is reading is, “So he just walked into Us Weekly‘s office and that was enough to make me immediately go to his house and wrap my clitoral hood around his nose.” Because, trust me, Jeremy Piven isn’t reading this story and going, “Wow, I should probably get better at mouth sexing the ladies.” He’s reading this story and going, “Wow, I forgot how easy Us Weekly interns are. I’m going to stop there TODAY.”"

    Any girl, that runs to the press running her mouth about what went on behind closed doors is a classless attention wh#$e. Not even arguable. Also did it occur to her that he was unable to perform due to her awful stench?



  12. 12

    Apparently from what I heard from Jer is that her taint smelled like dirty ass so bad he could not even bear to be down there. And I guess she had some pretty nasty sores that smelled bad also and were weeping.



  13. 13

    Oh well a stripper said it. That means it has to be true. pfft



  14. 14

    she should be happy 90% of guys wouldn't bother with foreplay especially on such an easy lay



  15. 15

    After 3 years, she decided to "spill" this story. She must have needed some money. And while US Weekly isn't exactly a top rated magazine or anything, I doubt they let interns interview celebrities.

  16. @v@ says – reply to this


    16

    Does she expect to have amazing feelings getting naked with someone she just met??? That happens when love's involved.



  17. 17

    Maybe her twat has the texture of roadkill.

  18. Male Strippers says – reply to this


    18

    I revealed a lot of attractive stuffs contained by your blog particularly its conversation. This is my first occasion I visit here. Well, this is a very valuable post. Thanks for the information you provided. It would be great if got more post like this. I appreciate it. BY - <a href=" Night Stripper</a>

  19. mx says – reply to this


    19

    THis is a GREAT story…. i mean her writing is AWESOME. pretty sure it was "her" who spilled the story though. it was that guy at the other paper.

  20. clair says – reply to this


    20

    you should totally interview her!! I wanna hear what she has to say.