One million, billion points for Gryffindor, Hermoine Granger.
Ch-ch-check out the incredible video (above) and if you want, you can read her entire speech HERE.
Whoa! It's a good thing Stephen Colbert's wit is so quick!
Diane Keaton went on the Colbert Report yesterday to talk about her new book … or at least that's what Stephen was led to believe.
As soon as the conversation begins, she starts getting super combative!
She talks over Colbert, makes weird jokes (where we're not sure if she's serious or not) and insults him in the most awkward ways.
Does she know it's not the Keaton Report??
So, Stephen had to go on the defensive, quickly threatening to destroy her new book and asking if her mother loved her.
She responds by calling him a sexual pervert.
You'll def want to check out the video (above) to see this most uncomfortable exchange.