Gather round for the greatest show on the planet!!
Yup! It's tabloid time!! And when the tabbies are here, we're just ROLLING in entertainment!!
So let's see what we have this week —-
Hollywood turns on Kim Kardashian!?! Are they talking about Daniel Craig and Jon Hamm?? Cause if so, they're a lil' late, LOL!! Oh wait!! They're talking about Beyonce, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Jennifer Lopez!!! Well we knew there were rumors Bey didn't want Kim inside her clique, and seeing as how Gwyneth is part of said clique, well… we're not so surprised. But J.Lo?? What is this about!?! JOKES!! That's what!! LOLz!
OoOoOo …. a wedding date for Brad Pitt and Angeline Jolie!?! PLEASE, do tell!!!
OH NO… OH NO NO NO! Pregnant women betrayed!?! WTF!?! What did Scott Disick do now?? And Reese Witherspoon, gurl, don't you worry about your father's bigamy stuff. Honestly, we doubt you really are, but everybody's only focusing on your heroic emergency trip to Tennessee.
But srsly… is anyone paying attention to Keeping Up With the Kardashians!?! Because Kourtney Kardashian only cares about one thing these days - her babehs! If Scott was really involved with a sex tape, she'd probably let out a chuckle and give him more diaper duty. Oh and his "flirtation" with Kim?? How HIGHlarious!!
Now, over in People land, it's all about romance and princesses!! Kate Middleton is transforming into a SEXY duchess, isn't she?? Werk it gurrrrl!!! And Drew Barrymore, we can't wait for June 2 to roll around so we can hear all the deets on your fairy-tastic nuptials!
Sigh… yeah, all of these John Travolta sexual assault scandals must really suck for Kelly Preston.. but she's been around long enough to know - nothing is worth a self-collapse! NOTHING!
But we've saved the best for last… Bill Clinton and Hillary splitting for good!?! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! Please!! 2016, people!! We're just sayin…
Tags: angelina jolie, beyonce, bigamy, bill clinton, brad pitt, daniel craig, father, gwyneth paltrow, hillary clinton, hollywood, jennifer lopez, john travolta, jon hamm, june 2, kardashians, kate middleton, keeping up with the kardashians, kelly preston, kim kardashian, kourtney kardashian, pregnant, reese witherspoon, scott disick, surprise, tennessee, wedding, wtf