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CBS Kicks ABC While It's Down With Dancing On The Stars Parody

| Filed under: TV NewsDancing With The StarsReality TV

Jerry Springer Does Not Approve

This. Is. Just. Weird.

CBS can't beat ABC in a court of law, so they'll settle for a public lashing!!

Remember last month when we reported the CBS/ABC baby mama legal drama??

CBS went to court to stop ABC from airing Glass House, a fairly blatant rip-off of the fairly generic Big Brother but the judge recognized that 98% of reality TV is the same anyway and said the show could go on!

And it did…

Except no one watched!

Glass House premiered to terrible ratings, even trailing reruns on other networks!!

As if losing money, time, and consumer confidence wasn't bad enough — CBS is throwing a pinch of salt on ABC's wounds!!

CBS just released a statement to the press, sarcastically promoting a "completely original reality program" Dancing on the Stars.

Uhhh… what?

It promises to be exactly like ABC's flagship reality program Dancing with the Stars, but slightly more mediocre!!

Dancing ON the Stars is fake, of course, but CBS thought the gesture was HIGHlarious!!

We think they wasted energy, effort, and the moral high ground on publicly ridiculing ABC for both their lack of original content and ratings failures!!

We could imagine Showtime and HBO getting into a tiff like this but… on network TV?

It just feels dirty!

Here is the sarcastic CBS press release in its entirety:


Los Angeles, June 21, 2012 – Subsequent to recent developments in the creative and legal community, CBS Television today felt it was appropriate to reveal the upcoming launch of an exciting, ground-breaking and completely original new reality program for the CBS Television Network.

The dazzling new show, DANCING ON THE STARS, will be broadcast live from the Hollywood Forever Cemetery, and will feature moderately famous and sort of well-known people you almost recognize competing for big prizes by dancing on the graves of some of Hollywood’s most iconic and well-beloved stars of stage and screen.

"This very creative enterprise will bring a new sense of energy and fun that’s totally unlike anything anywhere else, honest,” said a CBS spokesperson, who also revealed that the Company has been working with a secret team for several months on the creation of the series, which was completely developed by the people at CBS independent of any other programming on the air. “Given the current creative and legal environment in the reality programming business, we’re sure nobody will have any problem with this title or our upcoming half-hour comedy for primetime, POSTMODERN FAMILY."

“After all,” the spokesperson added, “people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.”

[Image via DJDM/WENN.]

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4 comments to “CBS Kicks ABC While It's Down With Dancing On The Stars Parody”

  1. oblio says – reply to this


    You, Mario, are morally bankrupt!! I love how you try to profit off of your "Bullied Bus Monitor Karen Klein Talks To Today" post by making the "donated" link on your main page go to your "Perezitos" page to get more hits on your shite websites. That is a new low, even for your shameless, sorry a$$.

  2. 2

    Isn't i t Dancing WITH the Stars?

  3. Riley says – reply to this


    I agree with you in that CBS’s move was hilarious. I do still think that Big Brother is better than Glass House, but oddly the GH is growing on me. As much as I dislike Alex, I would have to say that without him, there wouldn’t be the drama in the house that we all look forward to, even if he did mess up the villainous role. One of my Dish co-workers suggested that I watch it since I like Big Brother, and I did like it. My receiver recorded it automatically using PrimeTime Anytime, and since I enabled Auto Hop, I didn’t have to skip the commercials manually so I could get to more of the show. I’m looking forward to watching Big Brother this season though. As for the characters on this show, I hope that Alex gets voted off this week.

  4. Andy says – reply to this


    Re: Riley – Why don’t CBS, FOX, and NBC execs want consumers to enjoy commercial-free TV? It’s what we want! I’m a customer and employee of Dish, and I think AutoHop is great because you can easily watch commercial-free TV. A well known consumer advocacy group, Public Knowledge, agrees that people should have the right to control how they watch TV. They’re taking a stand for consumers by creating a petition that tells CBS, FOX, and NBC media to keep their hands out of your living room and DVR. Sign their petition to keep control of how you watch TV