Sit down ya'll, it's time to have a kiki!
Are RPatz and KStew ready to have a real-life baby?
According to one tab, YES! And Twilight is what convinced them to rush!
Of course, everyone wants to talk about
Captain Jack Sparrow's Johnny Depp's tryst with bisexual beauty Amber Heard after his well publicized split!!
And, every week, it seems like we get new details about how Katy Perry and Russell Brand went so wrong so fast — that story just gets more and more sad.
Speaking of stories that do NOT die, one tabloid reports a John Travolta and Kelly Preston's split — even though they were totes lovey-dovey at the Savages premiere!
Also, Paula Deen and Oprah are looking super seksy for older gals after all their weight loss while some stars are looking like the Crypt Keeper on bath salts when they're photographed without make-up on!
Check out the gallery (below) to see all the scandalous — and ridiculous — headlines from this week's tabloid jungle!
Tags: amber heard, captain jack sparrow, crypt keeper, john travolta, johnny depp, kristen stewart, oprah, paula deen, russell brand, tabloids, twilight, what the tabs are talking about