Jay Z is one lucky man.
Little Blue Ivy isn't anywhere to be seen -- sometimes mommy and daddy need some sexy alone time!
Ch-ch-check out the sexy video, below:
Christian Grey is supposed to be a stunning mix of rugged, handsome manliness! The perfectly chiseled combination of power, sex appeal, and deviance!
Well, Dr. Faye Skelton is the mad scientist from University of Central Lancashire who aspired to create the perfect gentleman.
unholy abortion composite portrait of a man (above, left) is a computer generated synthesis of the greatest parts of today's hottest male celebs and the ideal candidate for Mizter Grey in a Fifty Shades film!
It. Did. Not. Work.
"I think he's quite handsome, although everyone's interpretation will be different."
His glance must invite submission! His face must inspire erotic corners of the imagination!
His mere presence must instantly lubricate, ehhh, our darkest ambitions of sexual perversion!
But this, this will not suffice.
Go back, beast!
Return to the depths from whence you came!
And take Val Kilmer's lips with you!
Tags: alex pettyfer, alexander skarsgard, brad pitt, chris pine, christian grey, david beckham, dr faye skelton, epic fail, fifty shades of grey, patrick dempsey, university of central lancashire, val kilmer