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Tom Cruise Is Scientology's Telekinetic, Telepathic Dream God!

| Filed under: Wacky, Tacky & TrueTom Cruise

tom cruise scientology god

OoOoOoh man! Tom Cruise's biopic is gonna be EPIC!

As an "Operating Thetan" in the Church of Scientology, Tom's fellow believers look up to him as one of the spiritual greats — believing he's able to move objects with his mind, telepathically communicate with animals (and humans), and just leave his physical body whenever he pleases!

(So is this how X-Men's Jean Grey is coming back?)

And since he's been practicing the religion for thirty years, he's obviously visited their "Bridge to Total Freedom" to reach enlightenment (can't wait to see what happens when he reaches the mysterious 33 milestone).

In fact, Janet Reitman discovered that Tom is operating at the super high level of OT VII — which privileges him to such powers as telepathy! Apparently he's reached a God-like state within himself and the church.

How divine is he?? Well, according to Reitman's findings, they believe Professor X Tom is able to control matter, energy, time AND space!


Well, we suppose this should be an example of inspiration to all of us lesser beings in the world. Cuz if a time-controlling god can't even control his own marriages… well! There's just no hope for the rest of us then, is there? Ha!

[Image via Patricia Schlein/WENN.]

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31 comments to “Tom Cruise Is Scientology's Telekinetic, Telepathic Dream God!”

  1. 1

    Whatever Tom's beliefs are, let him be. I don't care about Scientology myself but if that's what he believes in then so be it. You talk about respect about each others beliefs but her you go being sarcastic about Tom's "religion." You're a hypocrite. You're a bully because you write derogatory and negative articles on people who do not share your views.

  2. Barbara says – reply to this


    Which means he gave them an outrageous amount of money :-)

  3. 3

    For a man who can, "control matter, energy, time AND space!" he sure has done a horrible job managing his personal relationships. Third divorce.

  4. jas says – reply to this


    All of this just feeds his narcissitic self… if it was that 'real' wouldn't scientists be studying such a rare specimen? I think it makes him believe he can "control" anyone including his wives and his children and that isn't religion or faith, it is abuse!

  5. Janelle says – reply to this


    I don't care how wackadoodle his religion is, everyone has a right to believe in their own beliefs. Perez you preach about no hate, yet you constantly berate everyone for having their own beliefs on your site. I like it when you write positive articles that are light hearted not these judgmental, inaccurate, and most of the time plagiarized posts. Leave the man be.

  6. Joxe says – reply to this


    Enough with speculating please. There's probably not a bit of truth in all that speculation. You think we are stupid? What will be next? Maybe that Tom Cruise was born in Mars, they cut his antennas and he is green so they paint him everyday so that he looks human? And you will expect us to believe that too.. You the media are so funny.

  7. 7

    Re: netopia – True. His belief system is no less legitimate than any other. It may sound absurd that he can control time and space, but is that any more ridiculous than a man who can turn water into wine, or part the Red Sea, or walk on water, or communicate directly with god? Before you ridicule Tom and Scientology, take a good look at your own religion, or so-called legitimate religions.

  8. 8

    What a bunch of fuking nuts.

  9. 9

    We get that you're upset that Cruise wouldn't let you wipe his ass; your bitterness that he doesn't acknowledge you is coming out loud and clear. You have no right to mock him so hatefully; his beliefs do you no harm. How would you like it if he mocked you and your gay? You'd be the first one screaming that he's a homophobic hater. By posting this shit, you're only proving what most of already know: You're a hypocritical, mean-spirited, petty little hater. So much for you saying you changed, huh?

  10. 10

    No wonder Katie ran away.

  11. someonehad2 says – reply to this


    This thread has been overrun by Scienos in disguise. I hope the discerning reader can pick up on this - all this defense of "religion" crap? Nice try. Scientology isn't a religion. It's the brainstorm of a Z grade science fiction author whose teachings appeal to deeply broken people - often with learning disabilities or emotional issues they refuse to accept as their cross - who want to be GODS not men. The real God above is not really a fan of men trying to be Gods and divine justice is usually served in time.

  12. 12

    question is ,,, what is the total cost to get to that position. stupidology is ALL ABOUT the money. just a ponzi tax evasion scheme based on a horrible SciFi novel. LRH was a self professed con man and his legacy continues more of the same.

  13. 13

    Re: JanelleRe: netopia – so, when did you both drink the stupidology koolade?

  14. 14

    Re: someonehad2 – It's a real religion to those who practice it, and it's not for you to judge. How about the morons who believe that god had to become human so he could sacrifice himself to save us from his own wrath? That's every bit as ridiculous as Scientology, yet millions and millions believe in it. I get that you're an idiot, and this is why you shouldn't be allowed to post opinions or be allowed out without a keeper. One can defend Cruise's right to practice his religion without being a follower of his religion (or a follower of any religion … they're basically all stupid cults). The Constitution permits Cruise's practices, just as it permits you and your stupidity freedom of expression. You're as big an asshole as Perez is.

  15. 15

    Re: raypearson – True. The founder of the Mormon church was a convicted con man who invented a religion for the money, and so he could sleep with young girls. But Christianity isn't much better - it is just older. Back at the beginning, what started as an obscure cult became huge in controlling the masses. Christianity is no more truthful than Scientology.

  16. come on says – reply to this


    Call scientology a belief system, a scam, a cult, whatever…but its NOT a religion!!! Hubbard wa a wacko science fiction writer who said himself the way to get rich was to create a "religion", he did it and its still scamming money of those poor people who have to sign "billion" year contracts and can barely escape. I've never visited a church (in several legit religions) where they harrassed, threatened and wouldn't let me leave. Tom is CRAY-CRAY!

  17. 17

    Re: raypearson – Catholicism is also all about the money. Take a look at the church's history of selling indulgences and other things to generate revenue. Scientology has a ridiculous premise — no more ridiculous than Christianity, tbh — but it's not the only religion hungry for money.

  18. Dylz says – reply to this


    Re: netopia – Scientology is a CULT not a religion. We are free to disparage at will. Also, religions suck too.

  19. 19

    Re: come on – Thanks, Perez, for posting incognito and for giving us your wisdom. Yes, I'm rolling my eyes at you, because I'd be willing to bet that if you offered yourself to the Scientologists, they'd toss you out because you're a bigot. They certainly wouldn't make an effort to keep YOU prisoner.

  20. 20

    All religions are scam and are dangerous. God does not exist.

  21. joe says – reply to this


    Re: BarbaraRe: Barbara – ……….i agree… well said

  22. 22

    Maybe he should just beam himself to another planet and find another wife there.

  23. Casey says – reply to this


    Why is everyone complaining to Perez about his slight sarcasm concerning Scientology. He hasn't said that the religion is stupid, wrong or ridiculous, only a tongue in cheek comment that for someone who has these supposed powers he has done a poor job keeping interpersonal relationships. People are silly, of course Scientology is a bunk "religion" which seems more like an expensive role-playing fantasy than anything else.

  24. choocho says – reply to this


    Joxe is defintely a Scientologist.

  25. 25

    Google "Uri Geller" for stories about fake telekinesis.

  26. Janelle says – reply to this


    To Raypearson: I didn't drink any koolade? What are you five? I also never said I believed it was a legit religion. But in our country everyone has a right to their own beliefs. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but I think people can act like mature adults. Even if you don't agree with someone elses views it doesn't make them wrong. Tom Cruise can believe whatever he wants, and should be able to do so without being constantly belittled over it. I don't agree with his beliefs but I am not going to criticize him over it. Maybe you should learn tolerance.

  27. 27

    god does exist…my life would be much sadder if he didnt…

  28. Suaverico3 says – reply to this


    I divorced a new age believing wife. She was a female version of the Cruisemeister…lived in a fantasy land of narcisstic beliefs of psychic powers, astrology, past life readings, numerology….it was her way or the highway. When my youngest started showing marked learning disabilities I had to get custody away from her to get try to get him treated because, just like Tom, psychiatry sux compared to Edgar Cayce. I ran back to the Catholic Church after all this as well. She now a practicing "psychic healer" and believes her bedside presence can cure cancer and all kinds of terminal illness. Tom Cruise has a soul mate out there….

  29. lisa says – reply to this


    omg lmao,Tom is a mentalmess poor little man needs to find a nice short woman, then he can take ofhis man heels and be himself. I cant stop laughing here over his being godlike, sad little guy, guess he got no attention growing up, oops he is same height as he was in 6th grade, poor little manm

  30. Someonewhodontcare says – reply to this


    Re: Yes You Bore Me – And then you open yours up to yawning capacity and drown us all in your shit. Well, if we're legally allowed to worship stupid religions and you're allowed to defend idiots for no real reason other than being contrary, then we're all douchebags, aren't we? Yes, you too.
    I see it this way. Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one, and they all stink.

  31. AYFKM?! says – reply to this


    Re: Janelle – I believe I have a little man that lives in my head. He tells me things. Sometimes he tells me things that I'm too afraid to say out loud because people might think I'm weird. I also believe that the little man in my head is controlled by my pet Chihuahua, whom I cannot speak directly to, but can empathize with. We share a set of 'feelings' that allows us to communicate thusly. Do you want to support my belief so strongly too? My psychiatrist tells me that I'm schizophrenic, but my chihuahua says my shrink is an idiot and doesn't know what he's talking about. Should I be worried?