Tom Cruise is NOT
The National Enquirer alleged Tom abused his wife and locked poor baby Suri in a "tiny, windowless room."
Attorney Bert Fields, who may or may not have been a senior partner at The Firm, sent a letter to the Enquirer threatening legal action should the magazine maintain its "disgraceful and lurid" attack upon Tommy boy.
Tabloids are surely no stranger to lawsuits but this is especially risky business considering the resources at the actor's disposal.
With bajillions of dollars in his bank accounts and the backing of the Church of Scientology, we're pretty sure this dude could declare himself King of Haiti and no one could stop him.
In his statement, Fields continued:
"Your cover announces, as a fact, that 'THE REAL TOM CRUISE IS A MONSTER.' Mr. Cruise is certainly not a 'monster.' He is a caring father, a hardworking actor and, above all, an honest, decent man."
A caring father and a decent man?? Now that's a minority report if we've ever heard one!
No matter what happens with Tom, Kat, and the tabs, we're praying none of this has too adverse an affect on Suri's childhood development!!
[Image via National Enquirer.]