And at 9 inches flaccid and 13.5 inches erect, who wouldn't? Ha!
Jonah Falcon is a New York-based actor and also happens to unofficially have the world's biggest dong, which could very well be official if the Guinness Book of World Records would agree to come over and measure it.
His gift from the gods has been the subject of an HBO documentary and plenty of talk shows, but most recently, was the reason for an unnecessary TSA search at the San Francisco International Airport.
In an interview after the July 9 incident, Falcon said that one guard in particular felt threatened by his "very noticeable" bulge, to which he replied:
"I said, 'It's my dick.' He gave me a pat down but made sure to go around [my penis] with his hands. They even put some powder on my pants, probably a test for explosives. I found it amusing."
Since he's probably used to this by now, he even tried to conceal his biological weapon and explained:
"I had my 'stuff' strapped to the left. I wasn't erect at the time. One of the guards asked if my pockets were empty and I said, 'Yes.'"
So now that strapping his massive man meat to the left doesn't work, what's Falcon's plan?
"I'm just gonna wear bike shorts from now on. That way, they'll know. You'd think the San Francisco TSA would have had experience with hung guys before, but I guess not."
Well, it's not very often that they have to deal with 9 inches of pure man meat, so can you blame 'em???
Yeah, we didn't think so either!
Tags: airport, california, dong, guinness book of world records, penis, san francisco, tsa, weener