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Mona Lisa's Rotting Corpse Throws Us A Frickin' Bone!

| Filed under: Wacky, Tacky & TrueLeonardo DiCaprioKate Winslet

Mona Lisa Remains Possibly Found

This is some real life Indiana Jones shiz!!

Italian archaeologists found the bones of a long-dead Fiorentini beneath an abandoned nunnery!

While the name Lisa Gherardini doesn't mean much to you or us, she certainly meant a lot to one famous Renaissance man!

Lisa G. is the woman who inspired Leonardo's most renowned piece of art!

We know what you're thinking, "wait, wasn't that Kate Winslet??"

No, silly. Not the Leonardo from Titanic.

We're talking Leonardo Da Vinci — the man, the legend, the ninja turtle!

Lisa Gheradini is the woman who inspired the Mona Lisa — you know, that super famous painting hanging in le Louvre!!

So we dug up her grave and found her bones!! Sweeeet!!

Sadly, her eyebrows are still MIA.

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8 comments to “Mona Lisa's Rotting Corpse Throws Us A Frickin' Bone!”



  1. 1

    From the headline to the end of the "article," this "story" is a piece of shit. It's so fucking awful that it's obvious you wrote it, Perez, and you have absolutely nothing to be proud of here. You took what could have been marginally interesting and turned it into a god damned mess that makes no sense and offers no proof that the bones have anything to do with the alleged model for the Mona Lisa. No wonder everything you touch turns to shit. Speaking of shit, how are your crappy T-shirt/CD packages selling?



  2. 2

    Wtf is this post?



  3. 3

    IT'S JUST A FUCKING PICTURE OF A WOMAN HE WAS SUPPOSE TO PAINT FOR ANOTHER MAN
    AND BECAUSE MEN ARE SUCH FUCKING PROCRASTINATERS, IT TOOK HIM FUCKING FOREVER…THE BITCH WAS PROBABLY DEAD BU THE TIME HE FINISHED…
    WOOP-T-FUCKING -DO, LET'S FRAME IT AND PUT A BILLION DOLLAR TAG ON IT…
    AND GUESS WHAT, IT WAS PROBABLY ANOTHER DUM ASS MAN THAT BOUGHT IT….

  4. Veronica says – reply to this


    4

    That is just a theory!! It's not "fact" that she inspired THE Mona Lisa :S
    - coming from an Art History major.



  5. 5

    W.H.A.T. T.H.E. F.U.C.K. ?!

    Perez, this has got to be the STUPIDEST ARTICLE YOU HAVE WRITTEN YET.
    Not only does it read as though it were written by a 10 year old kid - and not a very smart one - it makes NO BLOODY SENSE.
    Where exactly were these bones found?
    And by whom?
    And when?
    And do you HONESTLY think we find your (ahem) "joke" about Winslet/DiCaprio amusing?
    What drug are you ON, man?

    "so we dug up her bones…!" (???????????????????????!)
    "beneath an abandoned nunnery! sweeeet!" (??????????????????????????????!)

    Good fucking crap, Perez. You have reached a NEW LOW with this one.



  6. 6

    P.S. And that headline is simply ATROCIOUS.



  7. 7

    This is one of the most insensitive articles you've ever put on this site. It wasn't at all funny or amusing. In fact, it's highly disrespectful. There is no proof that it's Lisa but whomever it was, they were still a living, breathing human being. You should never speak such disrespectful "amusement" but yet here you are, becoming the bully you always were.



  8. 8

    Wow the first article in quite some time that sounds like it was actually written by P! Likewise, it's horrible and offensive yet think its being witty and snarky. You fail, P. This article sounds like you were doing coke shortly before writing it as well.