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Murderer Joran Van Der Sloot Having A Ball In His Peruvian Prison

| Filed under: Icky Icky PooLegal Matters

Joran van der Sloot Still Single And Ready To Mingle In Peruvian Jail Natalee Holloway

Joran van der Sloot is a cold-blooded killer.

He remains the primary suspect in Natalee Holloway's 2005 disappearance.

And he pled guilty to murdering Stephany Tatiana Flores Ramírez in 2010, for which he's currently serving a 28 year sentence in a high-security Peruvian prison.

But, hey, why should he let that stop him from having a good time??

While it's looking like the rumors of his engagement were part of some practical joke he was playing, sources close to the South American prison are reporting that Joran is really enjoying his time in lock-up.

His attorney Aldo Cotrina concurs. He said:

"[Joran] is very happy where he is, everyone is very friendly there."

Ugh. It's like he's at summer camp!

Aldo continued:

"At the beginning, he found it hard as he was in solitary confinement for the first five days – there was no heat, no water, no bathroom; you get crazy down there as the conditions are hell… Now he is in the general population and he has more friends and he is settling in."

Aww, poor Joran! Color us unsympathetic!

Apparently a lot of the other convicts are cozying up to Joran because he's teaching them English.


We shudder to think about this heartless killer teaching any lessons to anyone about anything — even his fellow inmates.

[Image via AP Images.]

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7 comments to “Murderer Joran Van Der Sloot Having A Ball In His Peruvian Prison”

  1. 1

    He's really strong ,highly educated , speaks 4 languages and is 6.6 feet tall , that makes him 11/2 to 2 heads taller than the other convicts.
    Also called: natural dominance.

  2. Mr Pete says – reply to this


    I love the story of Natalies mother sneaking into prison to confront Joran, while cameras were rolling(he told her to fuck off)
    What I found so funny about the story is that the prison allows prostitutes into visit, and avail their services, and the guards thought Beth was a very old tired looking hooker

  3. 3

    This douche should be lucky to sit in a dark hole by himself with no water, heat & no bathroom. Should have left him in there for his entire sentence.

  4. 4

    South American prisons aren't run by the smartest people. Pedro Lopez is a serial killer who has killed an estimated 300 people and he was finally captured in put in prison in South America. Then the prison let him out because of "good behavior". Well of course he didn't rape and kill any women in his men-only prison! Morons. Lopez's whereabouts are currently unknown!!!

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  6. nocnurzfred says – reply to this


    In a couple years we can look forward to a rash of released Peruvian convicts immigrating to the U.S. with good English speaking skills. Brilliant!!!

  7. angie says – reply to this


    this frankenstein looking moron ,is having a great time in peru jail , the cock a roaches , must be pan fried , the toilet must be a hole in ground , dont believe what they say , this creep will rot in there,